The dear doctor, having married it has appeared in enough difficult (ridiculous) situats...

[Olja]

The dear doctor, having married it has appeared in enough difficult (ridiculous) situation. My husband is engaged with me in sex not more often 1 time in 10 14 days. For me, the young young lady is easier nightmare. ZHdyosh-you wait for this affinity, and here she comes - and anything. In sense of preludes almost never is not present, to kiss he at all does not like, the member - and forward at once has inserted. The sexual certificate or act happens long, happens - is not present. He finishes always, I never. I am more correctly raised or excited certainly, but it is much less than at masturbations; it is much less, than earlier from lask other men. But a problem at all in all above told or said, and that I am afraid to tell or say to him, that neudovletvorena. I try to pretend, what all tip-top (here it is interesting, really he does not feel and does not understand, what to me not enough such sex?) . Simply I think I shall tell or say to him, and he will respond, you on greater and do not raise or excite me. Or suddenly I it or this shall offend it or him, if I shall tell or say, that neudovletvorena. In a word, I am silent, and itself I sob at night. In fact same not sex, and physical culture and sports any moreover and so it is rare. It can be valid, I simply cannot excite or raise it or him, spodvignut on greater?

[Natasha]

Greetings, the girlfriend by misfortune. I read and udivljajus-in fact at me all same. I to the doctor here the flaunter (see below) and its or his references have executed already similar question. Only nothing helps or assists. And the husband in all rest on 100 % arranges me. And in sex full oblom. Unlike you I with the husband am not afraid to discuss this subject, but it becomes easier from it or this not. If he tries to increase a few or a little;little bit time at it or him all falls. Is even worse all turns out. You here there is nothing, be not afraid. It is visible, there is such breed of muzhiks - seksegoisty. To me of 25 years, the husband is more senior considerably. Mine e-mail nvia@chat. ru. Write, if is what to tell or say. The doctor, and can get or start is easier to us lovers? Has bothered to be excruciated.

[Isaev D.D.]

Dear Olja! The Situation with your husband serious enough and it or her it is necessary to change, differently sex disharmony will accrue or increase also it will lead to inevitable crash of family attitudes or relations. The first obligatory step of you is to begin frank conversation on available problems. It is not necessary to be afraid of wrong reaction from the husband. The situation and so has accepted chronic character, he wishes neither to notice nothing, nor to undertake and to him the serious shake-up is required that he has reflected and began something to undertake.
I do not exclude, that your words can be for it or him insufficiently. The best variant is to go on reception together to the sexologist for the decision of problems of partner attitudes or relations. The sexologist will instruct you separately and together about that as as it is necessary to do or make and you will carry out these "homeworks", and then to receive new and gradually to leave on a desirable level of sex attitudes or relations.
Only if you will come across on full and a blank wall of misunderstanding and aversion of the similar approach and necessity something to change, then it is necessary to think - to begin or start all from the beginning with someone or someone else or to get or start lovers. But all over again it is necessary to try to change a situation (you in fact lose nothing from the efforts to normalize an intimal life!)
Dear Natasha! All this concerns and to you. I very much regret, that you cannot come to me on reception (I believe, that you live not in Sankt-Petersburg). To help or assist you it is necessary at an internal occurring!

[Olja]

The doctor, many thanks for the answer. Only here I am afraid, that with the sexologist nothing will leave. The husband the man not so young, also considers or counts itself skilled or experienced and knowing in every respect, speaks, that women always were from it or him without mind or wit. To talk to it or him too vrjadli udastsja therefore as if I after the sexual certificate or act do not smile happily, he it is terrible to be angry, therefore to have to smile and then already and to speak there is nothing. He prefers rasping sex without everyones there preludes, basically I accept such variant - but only as a variant for a change. It would be desirable caress - long and gentle much more. The doctor, whether is an explanation to why my husband at all does not like to kiss, it even irritates it or him. Thanks you big!

[Olja]

Greetings, Natasha! At me too with the husband a difference in the age of decent (it can problems of all such pairs?) though, you know, it was thought, when has met it or him, that the man skilled or experienced, should be able, feel all, yes he and itself spoke, that for it or him the main thing to satisfy partnyorshu - and here such it turns out... On the bill of egoism - I would not tell or say, most likely I am inclined to think, that business in me, I need be leading, instead of conducted that to admit that at me would not be desirable to do or make very much, not "type". And about egoists speak: " the Present or True egoist will dement you in bed, it as self-affirmation ":)) And about lovers... Tried or tasted, but from it or this in attitudes or relations with the husband nothing increases, and time if it is fair, on them, lovers, no.

[Natasha]

The dear doctor! Thanks for the answer. ZHivu-that I just in Sankt-Petersburg. But on reception most likely I can not come. My husband - very known in S-Pb the doctor. He precisely will not go to extend about such problem. But just in case, leave, please, your coordinates. And if it is possible, advise the literature on this problem. The husband agrees to vary, he very much values our family.

[Isaev D.D.]

Dear Natasha! Even if your husband will prefer to sit out, it cannot prevent most to come to you on reception in detail to discuss a situation and possible or probable variants of the decision of a problem. For contact ddi08@estart. ru and an office number 567 9417 (from 10 o'clock till 15 o'clock). I shall wait.

[Isaev D.D.]

Dear Olja! Similar, at Both of you rather similar husbands with ambitions, worthy teenage age, instead of a maturity. The self-conceit and excessive confidence of deprive with any a due share of criticality and ability to self-improvement. And partner attitudes or relations assume a constant orientirovannost on another and joint development of attitudes or relations aside their perfection and harmonization.
Is not pleasant to me your equipment or installation on situation with feeling of fault and attempt to justify rather unripe behaviour of the spouse. Until you awake " to play by its or his rules ", anything good will not be. It seems to you, what smiling you do or make something better? On the contrary, only the status of a dyscomfort, a dissatisfaction, comprehension of problematical character of a situation can force to look the husband at it or her anew and to try something to change in attitudes or relations or in itself. Any pretence while plays only against you. Whether for a long time you will suffice? And than all this can terminate if - former to neglect all?
Why the husband does not like an explanation can kiss to be the most various. On a surface such variants lay: disability to due psychological and emotional intimacy, psychological protection against reduction of an emotional distance (phobia " to lose itself "), absence of sincerity and an openness in attitudes or relations with you.