At us with the husband different sex temperaments... I have married in 19 years, m...

[Katya]

At us with the husband different sex temperaments... I have married in 19 years, the husband for 9 years is more senior... In the beginning like was it's OK as the husband in any case was more skilled than me... The child Was born, to me began to be wanted sex much more... But as that sufficed the husband nearly once a month, and without any variety, quickly, practically without lask... There Were conversations, he fine understands all... But it is uninteresting to him sex to be engaged... And all here... I took the initiative, but the person I voobshchem that not especially skilled or experienced, men, except for the husband did not know... To all he has declared plus to me, practically at once as have got married - that he does not like to kiss, and then through nektoroe time, admits, that he does not like to kiss particularly me - at me, whether see in a mouth is strongly wet... Then, he has declared, that the conservative and not priemlet oral sex... It was for a long time, I longly cried and experienced in occasion of dislike for kisses, but then - have reconciled.. . The same and with oral sex... We are married more than 10 years, I constantly suppress in myself sex. Desires when I tried to show the initiative, he some times pushed away me, than has caused or called very serious, in any way not passing or not taking place insult and psychological unavailability to display of the initiative... Now the situation became very serious - at me psychological problems have begun - has deteriorated har-r, there was an irritability, a constant emotional unbalance... Tried to find the lover, but I can not - both conscience excruciates, and fastidiousness, and is not present an opportunity, - at us 2 e children...
Excuse, that so it is long. I shall be grateful for any advice or councils....

[The guy]

Likely such problems should be solved with the husband together at the expert. The main thing that he (the husband certainly:)) has wanted to help or assist. Such sex life (to be exact absence those) negatively affects women. And, as consequence or investigation, and on children. On myself I know. Tell or say to him what is it important both for you and for family as a whole. And in general this beastliness to concern so to the wife. If married so all right to care of her and in bed:).

[Yes]

I understand you. There is a same experience. Advice or councils here are not pertinent (you should decide what to do or make. It is possible to ask: how you estimate or appreciate the attitudes or relations with the husband in general, without taking into account sex?

[Katya]

About an estimation of attitudes or relations with the husband without sex - all is very complex or difficult... My husband - very complex or difficult person. Many my friends and relatives which well know my husband to me sympathize... But we live 10 years together, at us two children, and he very much likes children... Unfortunately, I became very unbalanced person and it is very much reflected in children... The husband sees it, and it or this uses... Often I turn out bad mum which constantly swears... And the husband always the good daddy who never swears also all of them allows... Oh, it likely one more greater or big problem and at all for this conference...
And about that all negatively affects and that is necessary to the expert - the husband to the expert does not wish to go, he does not see a problem... Now, after a series of serious conversations on importance of this problem, he at last like has understood and has declared, that all will be good at us if I shall "stick" to it or him;them t. e to show the initiative... And so now business has stopped on me... After insults and ottalkivany to me very hardly to force itself show initsiativu-I cannot to force myself... Whether I need to grow fond, want again it or him chto-...
And I have already forgot to do or make it... And... To kiss it is impossible, it is oral - it is not pleasant... That to do or make that... Directly even the laughter assorts... (through tears)

[Zjuka]

Dear Katya! Really you were bothered still with this hard egoist? You can receive the whole bouquet of gynecologic sores for this reason, and with nego-that all as with gusja-water! And how you grow fond of it or him again if he and has destroyed this love? At it or him the aversion of your organism, your essence is obvious, well to what to be excruciated so much years and to bear constant humiliations? Yes you throw it or him, there will be at you a man, katoromu you will be pleasant, deti-not a handicap, in fact to you not 15 years and 2 e children! And to children in such family where angry mum, very unsweetly is necessary, all of them feel and very much experience! It is much easier to them to go through divorce, than to see your daily excruciatings without an output or exit from an impasse.

[Nikolay]

Zjuka on the bill to throw and forget it certainly it is correct, but a little krutovato by way of children. With whom they ostanutsja if the father likes them? And whether it will be too severe to fracture it or him a life for the sake of qualitative sex at mother. Though to her too by age to endow itself for the sake of children still rather early... Katya you should consider or examine possible or probable consequences, consider your desires and to choose: to be excruciated having reconciled further, to make an extreme measure or to find something an average.

[Igor]

And try or taste, Katya to get or start the lover. Or,-
Extreme to let to him know, what is it to you - time to spit.

[Zjuka]

Well so he can quite communicate with children, even if there will live not with them, how much such families!
In fact in family with bad attitudes or relations children suffer, maybe, even more. And razvod-that with the wife, instead of with children!

[Valery]

It is not necessary to something to learn or teach, force, ask, persuade, hint it or him... Even if he also will go on an occurring to you, you will know that it to not like him, him unpleasantly and, accordingly, you do not receive the slightest pleasure from it or him lask. It is a vicious circle. I think it is necessary to try or taste something (or someone) to change in the life. At me too is whom with whom to compare. There were individuals similar to your case and all of them were almost incorrigible (it was possible koe-to that to learn, but subconsciously very much uvstvuetsja, that the person does or makes all only on demand, for example it is opposite to me to realize it). Now mine the man poluchaetot kunniligusa such pleasure, that I already ask it or him to pass actually to the certificate or act. Often I work for kopjuterom, and he sits under a table and " prevents to work to me ". So you will make nothing. It more likely congenital any desires. He spoke me, that dreamed of it or this since the childhood (from 12 years). In our case was not nikokih arrangements, hints. To him it is simple it or this constantly it would be desirable.

[Pljushevaja the mouse or mousy]

Know, Katya, children it, certainly, sacred, but at abnormal attitudes or relations between parents and at them will be to a bowl failures. And about the husband, - well to you to overcome all together, but it is not similar, that it is necessary to him... Think of a question - whether as early as years through nine you will look back suddenly with melancholy, that all could be, but with another. Now at you still it is a lot of time and forces to begin or start all all over again. In any case I wish good luck.

[oshn]

Rolling, a problem that concept the first is confused with unique. Do not try to correct, do not try to go through. I have reached a point, when concepts of a neurosis, samomazahizma and the uttermost mistrust to myself and to people - a unique way of existence for me. It is impossible to make of anything something.

[Katya]

I have read through all your answers and advice or councils...
Thanks.
But something became sad to me. And sadly is it is softly told or said, simply desperately badly.
The majority advises to get divorced... To get divorced that I shall not be, at least while...
If I shall divorce from it or him, we will have a terrible struggle for children... And I am not assured, that I can come out in this struggle by the winner... Even now chuckling he speaks me - children will remain with me, you young, with you all ahead... And if them to ask, with whom they wish to remain - they will choose me...
And then, there can not be I one, moreover with 2 mja children, I never one lived, I simply am not able... If has found such person with whom I could connect a life (and I voobshchem that do not miss such opportunity) then, it would be already possible to think of divorce...
And so, I while only have even more got in deadlock, - to mine...

[Zjuka]

Output or Exit from deadlock in the same place, where an input or entrance. You have got there, having visited or attended the REGISTRY OFFICE, having received the marriage certficate, vyhod-to receive in the same place the certificate on divorce. In our country courts of children with the father do not leave, if only she not absolutely ku-ku, and without the muzhik any more the woman was not gone, at me the neigbour with 6 ju children has thrown out the miracle 20 go centuries or blepharons and not gone in fact!

[Pljushevaja the mouse or mousy]

According to judiciary practice - if to your children less than 7 years will be afraid that the judgement is born or taken out in favour of the father is practically insignificant. And that the husband presses on your mentality similar applications or statements is similar on house tyranny.

[Pljushevaja the mouse or mousy]

Oh, excuse for illiteracy - has distracted. Tried to tell or say what to be afraid it is not necessary, the probability of such decision is practically insignificant.

[Galja]

Katya, can, we shall try to understand a situation to not come or step twice on the same raker? Why you have married this person?

[Ira]

Perhaps, you should descend or go on consultation to the sexologist?

[Katya: Gale]

Has married in 19 years.... He was more senior than me for 9 years, very much to me has liked both externally and in general: formed, nice, the leader in the company of the friends besides that is important and it is rare enough - not drinking and not smoking... At once has proposed me... Has told or said, that very much wants the child, that to him 30 years, and already are time to get or start family and I very much approach or suit him...
The only thing, I shall tell or say fairly, here this practicality, then not so it was pleasant to me... But it was a unique minus, and ideal men, does not happen.
As to sex I married the girl, to that, not skilled or experienced... And what my husband will be in bed, naturally did not know...
And actually, in the first years of a marriage all was quite normal, in fact at me too sexuality not sraz has woken up - problems have begun then, more likely already after a birth of the child...

[Galja - Katya]

Katya, and at you feelings at an output or exit in marriage were - or only a practicality: does not smoke, does not drink, skilled or experienced and t. Item? Whether there were at you desires to escape from the parent house by marriage or spoilage? Whether there was at you to the husband a sex inclination before wedding?

[Galja - still to Katya]

Katya, you at the husband the first wife? Whether you know something about its or his private life before marriage or spoilage with you? How it or he had attitudes or relations with women and what attitudes or relations with parents? And in general - in what city you live?

[Zjuke and pljushevoj to the mouse or mousy]

About children: to the Senior daughter of 10 years, therefore it or her can quite leave with the daddy. As to me I really very much often am broken on children, and in general they to the daddy are more adhered... Also it is necessary to recognize, he really likes them. And about house tyranny, I likely shall disagree... He never speaks, that will take away from me children... Simply I am on the verge of despair and recently, began to think and speak about divorce often. It is my initiative, he - to get divorced does not want, he does not understand why I want it or this...
Still, here children are important... The matter is that actually not so it is important, with whom ostanutsja children, but that if the family will break up also it to them will affect or influence is precisely... At me they and so uneasy, with complex or difficult character...

[Katya: Gale]

I live in Moscow... At both of us it is first marriage. About its or his life before marriage or spoilage I know enough... From it or him, its or his brother, friends, parents... There were at it or him women, but serious addictings up to me were not...
By the way, earlier he even liked to me to tell about women who at it or him were up to me... By the way, we were acquainted by the girl who with it or him together in University studied, in it or him has been enamoured and very much wished to marry it or him... But she, was ugly, therefore as he said at it or him anything with her has not left. Here she with despair with it or him also has acquainted me... (she worked with me together).
As to parents and family. He very much likes the relatives... I even sometimes am jealous it or him of them... e. For parents, the brother, the sister he is ready to make very much much... Recently at it or him mother very hardly was ill also it was very brightly showed... To me even was to tell the truth insulting to realize, that to mother he concerns much better than to me. The same it is possible to tell or say and about the attitude or relation to children...
He seems to me for children is ready on everything, and I think, that he likes them much more me...

I respond to 2 question. He complex or difficult enough because, I understand, that you actually wish to ask... Whether on love I married, or on what that to other reasons...
I cannot precisely tell or say - whether there was a love, but that he liked me, it is exact... In marriage why that wanted, it would be desirable the family, wanted the child...
The only thing, I shall precisely tell or say, that such that in a whirlpool with golovoju, arguing only by means of emotions and feelings - it or this was not... Marrying, considered or examined;surveyed it or him from different directions, captiously and prudently, and made a decision... Though I can not tell or say, that the decision was correct... But then - it seemed, what yes... The Sex inclination... hm... It seemed, that was, though, I then plainly and did not know what is it such... In fact I repeat, the girl in marriage left, and it is brought up conservatively enough itself... But well I remember, when (even before wedding) has arrived to get acquainted with its or his parents, and they wished us to put to sleep together (they - without prejudices), I have refused... BUT... Then all the night long was excruciated and hoped, that my future husband all taki will come to me - and at all of us and will occur or happen... But he frightened by my position in the given question, has not come, though too did not sleep and dreamed of it or this...
So the inclination probably all taki was...

[Galja - Katya]

Katya... You can disagree with me and I can be mistaken. But it seems to me, that your husband concerns to a category of those people which, despite of passport age, remain children. Look: the man at all other advantages of the girl will leave her, only because at it or her not "modelling" appearance! Besides you have told or said, that he cares of all members of the family and ESPECIALLY about mother - is indicative enough. He idolizes or worships mother because CAN not live without it or her, not being hidden for its or her skirt. And of others cares - because mum spoke, that so it is necessary. And more because he will receive the portion of adoration and worship for it from those who about itself cares. It is rather probable that to marry he has solved because MUM has told or said, that so it is necessary. Also has chosen you - the innocent, not skilled or experienced little girl who can command easily. And firstly you, looking to him in a mouth, submitted.. . He the constant reproaches INTENTIONALLY lowered your self-rating that you have not come off with its or his short povodka. But then have suddenly started to be shown as the independent person... On it or this I shall stop and I shall wait for your comments.

[Galja - Katya]

And in general, what I here raspinajus? professional-the psychoanalyst has told about this type of people better. Descend or go on www. naritsyn. ru, there section " Izba-a reading room ", the subitem " Who is who ", type of the person Immediate. In general a useful site - esteem!

[Ekaterina]

Katya! And you not to time did not think of what views on family attitudes or relations and attitudes or relations between the man and the woman slozhatsja at your children, looking on attitudes or relations of mum and the daddy? Children should grow in a normal situation. I think, that is wrong so to argue, that is better children will live in full family, notwithstanding as he will communicate with their mother.