Bifurcation in perception of

[povilika]

Hello! Help or assist me, please. I understand, that my problem demands internal therapy and hardly it or she can be solved several answers in a forum, but while it is too terrible to me to go to the doctor. Never was and I do not know, with what to begin, difficultly to formulate, etc.
The dysmorphophobia seems to me, at me, and can, a problem not only in appearance. Bifurcation that on the one hand I like myself. And with another for some reason is not present. Since the childhood dreamed of plastic operation. When I represented myself (I liked to dream of the future as I shall marry any "prince" itd) I saw not myself, and is externally perfect or absolute other girl. And veda herself she accordingly at all so, raskovanno, flirted. Mind or wit I understand, that is attractive enough, but... In something is zatyk. On-first, at me unmodern appearance, therefore at teenage age I did not involve contempoparies, and liked any djadjam - maminym to coevals. To me from it or this it was awkward.
Now I any more do not know about plastic operation. Earlier I only dreamed zarabota money and to turn to princess. Now money is, but to me it is terrible, that will turn out badly, and it is already a pity itself. In fact I more never shall see this face, and I with it or him have lived almost 30 years. It is a pity.
By the way, when I sometimes blab out someone operation, in the answer I hear sincere bewilderment. Can, it is valid not on behalf of business?
And in what?
The second problem that - you, probably, have guessed - a problem with men. I think, she from my internal zazhatosti (raskovanna only that, another, and I always as though see myself from, the not Hollywood smile, a long nose... No, not sharliz teron...)
For some reason I had only 2 types of mutual relations
- They perceive me exclusively as the friend, a vest. And basically to pour out on me the problems
- As the girl for sex, but not for love. (they often have wives and they perceive me as an opportunity cheerfully to spend night.)
Why so - it is not assured. Here any contradiction.
But me excites, that anybody never admitted to me love, did not invite simply to take a walk. It is somehow strange.

It has turned out longly and tiresomely. Ask to me, please, concrete questions.

[povilika]

I wish to add, that recently I had a rage for the whole world. Why I should vary, that it is pleasant to them? To cause itself a pain, to pay for it? I began to like those who is similar to me. Me admire tviggi and kejt moss not because to me so their appearance (though already it is pleasant), that is why that they do not hesitate to be photographed naked or exposed, do not hesitate of the small breast, and on the contrary zasttavili to believe all world, what is it beautifully is pleasant!
I too already would like to make somehow so that all have understood, as my data are beautiful... Whether a libotomy all around to make that:)

[Wel:-D]

Libotomy by all around, presently, do or make mass media and in my opinion, consult with the problem or task rather not bad. So, that this procedure not by my part, behind it or this you more likely to our minister of culture should address:)
From additional questions to you, whether to me in a head come only " you Live in Moscow? Whether " and " you are ready to joint psychotherapeutic job? " It not from shkurnogo interest:), and exclusively because you have full enough described the situation and I needed to ask only " When we shall start? ":)
To dismorfii your problem has no attitude or relation, and there are at you some problems of psychological character and for disposal of them the psychotherapeutic help is necessary to you.
You agree with my conclusion?
If yes, call and enter the name - we shall talk.
If at once to call terribly - write to me the letter. The psychotherapy strongly differs from reception in a cabinet or study of the doctor, and to test some confusion before the first occurring with the stranger is very much on chelovecheski:)
References if you live not in Moscow - the psychotherapy in any case is shown to you. Not because you are sick and at you dismorfija or any other diagnosis that is why, that thus you will manage to receive in the sanction of your problems and can live with pleasure.
If you want it or this, I think, that you know what to do or make.