Parting

[TISSA;]

Zdravstvujet, the doctor. To me och. Hardly to experience parting. In what a problem? Such sensation, that these problems the whole ball and harm all of them adequate and normal in such situation, but I wish to know as with them to consult.
First I have a complex " Why and for what? ". So itself good and liked it is a pity already up to tears. You think of with what has not pleased and what not so has made? There are inferiority complexes.
Secondly it seems, what is it I one sit at home and I suffer, and he at this time somewhere perfectly spends time (happens what is it really so - then in general oppositely, and happens on the contrary, but I any more do not know about it or this) so it would be desirable, that he suffered too
Thirdly at me " the syndrome of the child " begins - I would like to nestle on mum because she likes one me, will embrace, will kiss, will understand... hochetsja obestsja sweet under an outset (and the truth I gorge on). And not only sweet. In general I eat all time. It would be desirable to buy or purchase the teddy bear with globules inside to sleep with it or him...
Thirdly I cease to cope behind myself. It would not be desirable anything: to be painted, it is good to put on anything. I get fat, because I eat much. I can not take myself in rtsuki, go in for sports, kosmeticheskimmi procedures. It would not be desirable to leave the house...
Also there are no forces with all it or this to consult. Such sensation, that to me is easier to suffer (on the one hand, can and it is easier, if find support, but with another - it is much easier to not saw itself, instead of can)
In - the fourth: on the other hand you think that would be desirable to change: to grow thin, sunbathe, get prettier, find someone another and to outdo was or former that a labium has had a snack... To revenge such here in the image...
I THINK, that so to all happens to some extent, but here to cope with it or this difficultly... The Result: depression

[x3m-TIM]

Well though knit will comment.............. hnyk

[Kleopatra.]

" Our life is that we think of her " = Avrely =
:):):):)

[Bars]

And that he well time spends it?
nefiga! Go too well time to spend. Buy or purchase to itself, at last, a bear with globules, descend or go somewhere with mum (probably, for a long time together did not go?). Friends are? Meet! Is not present? And zashibis. Here at me is not present. And I go with mum to restaurant, something to ourselves we buy... We Have fun. And men look at us. The main thing to not sit at home and to not regret itself unfortunate. Go enter the name in any circle, get or start living creatures, borrow or occupy in a photo... To Me once also I too was bad not knowing than myself to borrow or occupy have made of a toilet paper of the Hamster (as from pape-) in honour of mine untimely pochivshej Pigs. It is necessary, I think, what I the needlewoman. And has then gone on kitchen or cuisine and has made a pie- (not of a paper) and ramochki from rezanyh magazines...

[The author of a subject]

Yes, children or guys, I, similar, shall not wait the answer...

[Wel:-D]

Hello!
I am sorry for a delay with the answer - I had technical problems.
During job in interenet the computer has been infected by a virus.
On its or his excision the significant amount of time was required.
I apologize!
So, the answer.
Partings occur or happen in a life. Than more close the attitude or relation with the person with which it were necessary to leave and than more suddenly parting by that was more serious it is felt, is worse and dlitelnee than a consequence, the memoirs is more disturbing. It concerns or touches, as well partings in consequence or investigation of a suicide or mors of the close person from accident, illnesses or diseases. Than the attitude or relation were closer and than there was a parting, was especially acutely and hardly it is experienced.
The termination or discontinuance of close relations is always accompanied by feeling of fault - the person tries to understand that he did or made not and to that with whom these attitudes or relations have been stopped by aggression.
Unfortunately, if fault or wine of other person in break of attitudes or relations obviously is not realized for any reasons or this fault is not present, aggression which is always generated in such situation, is displaced suffering both on itself, and on close and simply familiar and not familiar people. The love which was the reason of close relations, after their break still any time continues to live, not allowing not only to show but also realize own aggression and its or her reasons.
Not realized aggression is displaced on itself, becomes an autoaggression and is shown in rage on itself, in self-charge, desire to make to itself by something bad, to force itself to suffer.
The part of aggression is displaced on associates and shown by the same signs only already concerning them. It in turn aggravates feeling of fault, already in relation to associates even more, strengthens an autoaggression even more and he strengthens suffering in opinion of own perversity, that bad and that he correctly suffers so and it is necessary to him. There is a depression. As the culmination of an autoaggression are possible or probable as well suitsiidalnye attempts. Moreover, there can be a pavor before new attitudes or relations and unwillingness them to search, begin, frame. The person becomes lonely, unfortunate, malicious and angry. It or him associates, and he - avoid them.
Clearly, that in such situation very hardly to be restored and begin any new, good relations.
All should be understood it very well. Through similar experience it is necessary to pass or take place to the majority of people, this experience is extremely unpleasant, but the advantage or benefit can be received and from it or him.
In the first are a knowledge of how all it occurs or happens. And using this knowledge it is already possible to take for itself and the second advantage or benefit, namely - skill to minimize own losses in complex or difficult situations. Besides, skill to suffer or bear lesions, knowledge that you can sometimes lose, skill to recede in time, to collect forces and again to begin a life so well as it would be desirable it or this - all it costs or stands not a little.
I to you suggest to try to realize those feelings which you now test to the person, attitudes or relations with which at you now are stopped. To realize ALL the feelings to it or him;them, both good and bad.
After to you udastsja it to make, thank it or him (it is possible mentally or aloud, thus to meet object not necessarily) for all good, that at you was and after that to try to forgive or excuse it or him for all bad, that with you happens.
Can consider or count, that the pardon was possible to you if at memoirs about itself you do not have negative emotions. The same concerns or touches gratitude.
You REALLY stop with it or him attitudes or relations only when memoirs about itself in you will not cause any emotions.
Approximately so.
I understand, that everything, that I here have stated to you independently correctly to execute difficultly enough.
If on a course there will be questions - write.
If there is an opportunity - address to the psychotherapist, it will be easier.

[Kleopatra.]

wel:-

[Kleopatra.]

Hello the doctor!

And so, how to develop or produce confidence of, confidence of tomorrow? How to influence itself, what rules vyratotat in itself!?

I show the big respect for your answers. As how to win and not run into this panic when the person has betraid you?
To dramatize it is not necessary, as probably already where the mistake or error has occured or happened in attitudes or relations?! It is clear....
What book it is necessary prohonour and to learn rules, what to not suppose mistakes or errors? Or it is not possible or probable?

As William James " the God wrote can forgive or excuse to us our-the sins nervous system-never ".

If, you remember me, for the answer very much I wait.

I wish to be the person-assured or -confident, optimistical to ennoble the good ideas what all will be good but how?!!!

:)

[Nevrolog]

I join question Kleopatry because at me the same problem - I do not know AS to make myself assured or confident and to start itself to like
And more: I do not know that recently occurs or happens to me, but I became very sensitive and whining. Hardly that - tears. Earlier very seldom cried - only if absolutely will finish, and now... That because of what earlier not for the world would not begin to cry now causes tears. Nerves absolutely to hell. What is it?
I, certainly, had an emotional shock - on December, 9th has made abortion, but I like would calm down in this occasion. I can begin to cry simply if the person something has told or said to me, VA it was not pleasant to me. Recently with mum watched TV. Showed zamechatelnyj the city of Petersburg where mum was the last summer. Have shown any greater or big green lawn and mum has told or said " And I was here. Here on luzhake sit same green, as you ". And so the word "green" has caused or called in men tears. Not "young" not "juvenile", but "green" - I have for some reason burst into tears, though mum at all did not wish me to offend... Even because of such trifles... What to speak about more serious things. In general I sob belugoj. What with me? Can poprinimat something for strengthening nerves.

[*]

I not the neurologist - the previous report - mine

[Wel:-D]

Yes, Kleopatra, certainly I remember you. Thanks, that yours faithfully concern to my answers!:)
I respond you to yours with TISSoj a question.
To develop or produce uverennnost in itself, to make itself assured or confident it is possible only having to it or this of the basis, i.e. having positive experience of a leg on itself. The short of neurotic behaviour, change of the person on neurotic type consists just that the person suffering a neurosis has no such experience, he replaces it or him experience of manipulation by other people, formation to itself(himself) of a leg (props) from them. The similar behaviour is caused or called not by skill to lean or base on itself, not realized confidence in own ushcherbnosti, failures, dependences, delicacies, etc. Sometimes such behaviour is based or founded;established on negative experience of a leg on itself when attempt to solve the problem has independently terminated in morbid failure. In any case to learn the person suffering to lean or base a neurosis of any type on samoju itself means to cure it or her of this neurosis. Than actually the psychotherapy by means of the certain approaches, methods and receptions also is engaged. This complex or difficult enough business, similar type of behaviour is formed by years, often decades. Certainly, that perusal of the book, let even the most correct, this problem to not solve.
In occasion of separations, partings, meek or unrequited love, what somehow to understand this question, to understand as better itself messages in such situations try to esteem book Berta Helingera " Orders of love ". About love, how it or her to define or determine, also in last book psychoanalyst Kyornberg (unfortunately do not remember its or her name) well wrote. Perhaps knowledge pocherpnutye from these books to you somehow will help or assist. Besides experience of residing of similar situations, decisions of problems is rather essential.
As to "trifles" on which soznaniotklikaetsja so strong, giperergicheskoj reaction, it at all trifles, at least for the one who tests this reaction. Such reaction means, that something is connected with these "trifles" important and it is necessary for feeling something what to understand. Do not hurry up " to take itself in arms or hand ", to try " to distract somehow ". You risk it or this, figuratively speaking, to tighten or delay a loop of a neurosis if not on own neck, on own consciousness. We shall tell or say, (you, TISSA) concentrate on a word "green", on, how when, in what situation it has been heard by you. On sensations which this word causes in you. Probably, something will emerge, something for you important. Often problems appear just after the person " LIKE WOULD calm down ", and actually has simply pushed the pain in any remote angle of consciousness. It is necessary to consider what is it a pain it is alive, and that she is pushed by you in the removed corner of your consciousness essentially nothing changes besides that to chance of the decision of this problem decrease, the same as also your forces which you exhaust that try to keep this pain, this not solved situation outside of the understanding. Now recollect, how much you during the life have managed to push in various " the remote corners " your consciousness. All that pain all still is there where you have pushed it or her, she all still waits, when you recollect her and will start to solve the problems at last. Practically all forces of the neurotic leave on keeping of various morbid memoirs abroad the consciousness and them simply does not remain on living, on interaction by that occurs or happens here and now. As a result, the person suffering a neurosis plunges into the world of the memoirs, i.e. in illusion, it is literally in anything. He sees surrounding it or him only through iskazhajushchue a prism of the not solved problems. There are many clever books, but a problem that the person suffering a neurosis will read and understand them besides, through the deformed or distorted representations about the world. In such situation that such person can help or assist itself, on technics or technical equipment of demanded actions and there are not enough chances of feasibility it about the same, that baron Mjunhauzen when extended itself for hair from water did or made.
It was possible to him. And how YOU estimate or appreciate the chances?

[TISSA]

Has tried to recollect something connected with a word "green". Has not recollected anything besides that all life, except for last years 2-3-, it was my liked color. Even on final in 9 class I murder will out to itself a green suit. Till now in a wardrobe many green things. Now my liked color - red (not absolutely the orange, and is more dark). Now I buy basically clothes of red color and I paint hair with henna.
I seem can track or look after when there was such change in tastes. In my opinion, such obvious skew has occured or happened in 18 years when I have seriously fallen in love for the first time. But all has ended badly... Though, probably, I am mistaken also taste to red have appeared earlier.
Probably, green associates at me with the childhood. Earlier parents very strongly quarreled. Scandals were awful. I very much experienced for mum and cried. I do not know why they have not divorced. I very much wanted, that they have not divorced, and mum was afraid, that cannot grow up us with the brother.
Can, such reaction on "green" is caused or called by it or this? Though earlier never takaogo was. Why right now? Because of abortion?
And more: when I read your advice or councils, I too start to cry... Itself it is a pity that-whether...? I do not understand. At all I do not understand why I became such crybaby literally for couple of months... Never dared to cry. Yes, probably, did not allow. I DO NOT WISH TO CRY! Because I wish to be strong and I do not want that though someone saw my tears, and especially the man - he of that is not necessary. I cried seldom earlier, only if will strongly finish or I shall strongly be upset or cried then that did not see (for example could and I can cry at mum on a breast if the guy has offended me, but I shall not deliver such pleasure to him. But it only earlier. Last time, before parting, I cried directly at itself and hated these moments because HE SHOULD not SEE me WEAK And CRYING-th I DO NOT WANT), and now I can rasplaktsja even having heard any song which is pleasant to me. I at all do not like to be such crybaby. You probably will tell or say " dare to cry - you never it or this afforded. vyplakajsja ", and I do not want. Besides I am afraid, that if I SHALL DARE to cry for all that it was necessary to go through to me there will be no also a whole week and I am simple from mind or wit I shall descend or go. I simply wish to live and hope for the best. I want that me liked also myself to like and spit on all that around occurs or happens also me does not concern or touch. Let though a doomsday, and me that it was good - because I like also me like. Just now it would be desirable to cry...

[Wel:-D]

... When the tree is born - Rostock weak and flexible or floppy,
When dies - dry and firm.
When the person is born - the child weak and soft,
When dies - cold and rigid.
Therefore delicacy and flexibility is partners in life,
And dryness and rigidity is satellites of mors...

It from Dao de dzin, on memory, for literality I do not warrant or vouch, but sense such.
Delicacy, force... In most cases it is simple the words, called to justify our behaviour or to blame behaviour to others. Often, when them use, they have no attitude or relation to a short of things, it simply to speak a way...
Recollecting the novel of brothers Strugatskih " it is difficult to be the God " - " I do not see, why we would rub noble donam to not drink there where they want? " And so, I do not see, why to the person to not cry or smejatsja to like or hate there and then, where and when he would like it or this? Whether delicacy and pavor force us to hide and even to struggle with own emotions, with their displays?
To not wish to feel that you feel when you live, the same what to not wish to see, that you see, when you drive a car. From advertising Sony PlayStation - " the Life is a race on beshennoj rates... "
Let's try to close eyes?

[TISSA]

Hello. I do not know why, but I have decided to write the letter to that with whom have left. It wanted. I wish to show you my letter and its or his answer.
My letter:
>> Greetings. I so wish to call to you, easier or simply to chat, discuss
>> something, posmejatsja - as earlier. Only I am afraid, that I shall come across on
>> a wall. I am afraid, that it is not necessary for you. To me so boringly sometimes happens.
>> Earlier I called to you hardly that, and now I can not, and me of it or this not
>> another suffices Simply with you interestingly just because you. To us
>> to be better not together because we different, look in different
>> the parties or sides, we aspire to different things, but I would not like to lose you,
>> because you for me not simply person, and the person relatives. I do not know
>> as you, and I always wanted, that at me was simply close to me
>> sincerely man - with men not how with women. Women,
>> what they were girlfriends, cannot be relatives on spirit
>> you Understand, when I think that sometime all will terminate. About
>> volume, that at the last minute at people their all life is scrolled as
>> a filmstrip -they about much regret, probably, in that the moment: about that of that not
>> have achieved, that were not in time, that have not made or have made And I not
>> wished to regret And here when I think of it or this (yes, you represent, in mine
>> an abnormal head such ideas come!) I understand, that I wish to be
>> the kindest on light, the most good, the most liked and the best
>> for all. For all world. Therefore I always would like that all
>> came to an end well that of me thought only good that all
>> it turned out to not cry, to look back back and to not regret about
>> made, therefore I so seldom speak bad words, therefore to me not
>> it would be desirable to quarrel, it would not be desirable to leave after itself though something
>> bad I simply small still - would be desirable to please everything, to be most
>> the best, the most liked child, and it is necessary to pretend strong and
>> adult - around so much bad and I cannot with it or this of anything
>> to make. Therefore to me very painfully each time when to me even speak
>> something bad - means I bad. Bad because has made not so.
>> I Mean then billion times I shall scroll in a head all that
>> could make, that all was good, instead of has made
>> you Know what second thing about which I regret and I shall regret even
>> before mors (except for abortion)? When I was in 5 class, mum
>> has poisoned with tablets. Specially. She wished to die. Because of the father.
>> He has come drunk and has arranged such what it is terrible to recollect therefore
>> that she has given papinomu to the friend a package with morkovkoj, which daddy for
>> us has brought. For the friend he has brought another, and mum has given another and our
>> together because did not know, that morkovka we was. And so then
>> there was that it is terrible to recollect and mum has swallowed tablets. Packings
>> 10 has eaten. And we with Oleg brought to her them. She spoke, that at
>> it or her the head hurts and asked a tablet. We spoke her, that it is impossible so
>> it is a lot of, but she asked to bring, and we should obey-
>> small were, us have accustomed to obey. Then she laid 3 days without
>> consciousnesses. Died. I sat about it or her and cried. And, you understand, I
>> was in 5 class and could not go and cause or call fast! Could not! Why?
>> of the Father was afraid? Or was afraid to remain with it or him then at home bz mums? And in fact
>> adult was and understood, that is necessary! And she could die! She in general
>> did not wake up 3 days And I did or made nothing. Then she has regained consciousness
>> Anybody nothing knew about all this, because the daddy, certainly, not
>> has told or said, and we with Oleg did not depart from mum. Then when she has regained consciousness,
>> I with it or her have left Oleg, and itself to the grandmother I have gone Then only
>> has told - for some reason was afraid to tell all on 100 % - and all of them
>> have come running Spoke, that it is necessary fast, but mum asked to not cause.
>> She could not go. Then hardly went. Awful scandal was. I thought
>> then, that they at last will divorce After that through pair
>> days I again was at the grandmother and it or she had an import cookies to tea.
>> you Know, such in a round iron box then it was very much
>> dear or expensive and seldom was on sale. The grandmother has passed some pieces for
>> mums. And I on road have eaten everything, except for one because mum did not eat
>> anything and I have thought, that she all the same will not want. But has come home and
>> has given her last pechenku. And then she has asked
>> still you Represent, she in general ate nothing - only a saw, and then
>> still some cookies has asked, and I have eaten it or him! I hated myself, because
>> in that I all cookies on light would give the moment to her, if only she was
>> it is healthy! Here that I shall not forgive or excuse to myself never - that has not caused or called
>> fast also that Mum has eaten its or her cookies , thanks God, is alive. It is not healthy, but
>> it is inevitable. After that she has grown fat. I till now do not understand,
>> why they and have not divorced, though then, in words all was
>> it is solved After that I 3 years did not talk to the father at all I
>> for what on light would not tell all it or this is simply now
>> it would be desirable. So, that the huge request as soon as you will read through, bury
>> it in depths of the brain, and is even better, forget. Also do not speak anybody
>> even on pain of death, even to me Especially to me. About such
>> at all do not speak, especially
>> I simply want, that at me all was in another way. Any bad
>> the act reminds me the daddy Therefore to me "daddy" - another is necessary.
>> the Best and kind which never and for what has not made to me
>> anything bad Therefore I need many friends, the most different, most
>> remarkable, therefore I so need to know, that I the good person,
>> that like me and that I am necessary Therefore at me so much complexes
>> I know, that as soon as I shall send you all this 1000 times I shall regret,
>> that I have told you all this you I ask to forget all that here
>> has written and never to recollect. NEVER! At any
>> circumstances. I do not want that though someone knew, that at me in
>> to a head and in soul or douche to be created. To you has told itself I do not know what for. Can
>> because to hold in itself it is eternally impossible and it is very serious. Forget.
>> And if you will want to call (suddenly you will want) it is not necessary at once is better
>> Then. I at once hardly can speak
>> I would not like, that we badly to each other concerned - I not
>> I wish to think, that I badly concern to someone. I do not want that to me
>> badly concerned. It can and the dream to be Miss Perfection, but to
>> the dream should aspire, the truth? Let it will not turn out on 100 %, and
>> it will turn out even on 80 - already well You will be simply necessary. With you
>> easily and interestingly. I want that at you in a life all has turned out. Why?
>> Itself I do not know. Can, because you something are similar to me (yes, though we
>> and essences from different planets, but problems in soul or douche, in my opinion, are similar) and
>> just as to me hardly it is necessary you.
>> All. I shall not write Any more, and that will incur absolutely far
>> Write.
>> I
Its or His letter:
Greetings!!! Red princess!!!
>
>
> Yes I already davnym for a long time have forgotten all, for what took offence at you!!! And already
> Has naturally understood, that I was not right, in multitheir things!!! It is a pity certainly
> That you consider or count that at us with you nothing would turn out!! You already
> Obviously it or this you do not want!!! Well times you do not want, so I and to force not
> I shall be!!!:))) is simple I too always wanted that me understood!! That
> Felt that my jealousy it only business of time, it is all
> Business only dokazyvanija in the return only once, present or true time!!!
> That's all!!! Caress and love is necessary to me!!! When I shall feel it or her, I
> I shall make all that it or this to not lose!!! I want (let it and a mania
> Greatness) to be not simply pleasant sobisednikom and the person with which
> To communicate, I wish to be the only thing!! The best friend, the best lover,
> The best pomoshchnikom in everything, and naturally unique love!!! In
> A principle, for me it also means LOVE!!! Mda it is a pity certainly what is it
> Probably it is impossible!!!
> Yes, you do not represent as I miss on you!!! I am afraid to call to you,
> Because I assume what reaction me waits!!! Yes I know that I
> Quick-tempered, but I would like, that it understood, why that friends it
> Do or Make, and here you...... It not reproach, this discussion of a situation
> prizoshedshej between us!!!
> I if fairly do not wish to be your friend, because my heart not
> Will allow me of it or this, I shall always want one and togozhe!!! To be for
> You the only thing!!! So output or exit 2: either to not communicate, or to become them
> (Only thing), but 2 variant as I have understood you does not insert!!!
> By the way, a black sweater, taki it is necessary to me to take away all from you, therefore
> That mum has found out its or his loss and has demanded return!!! I to her certainly
> Has not told or said where he is!!! Has simply told or said that I shall try to return!!!
>
> And in general, if you wish to talk, come to me on a visit (in advance
> Having thrown off SMS) or you can it is direct tomorrow!! Since to you to me to go it is a shame!!!
> Only, if you will decide do not take in head so anything to buy, and that to me still
> stydnej will be!!!
>
> Vobshchem ZHDUUUUUUUUU!!!!

Here so. What do you think? I, am fair govrja, I am confused now in the feelings... I do not wish to lose it or him as friend but as with man me with it or him;them simply to be better not. To leave absolutely? Really there is no output or exit? He thinks, that is not present, and it seems to me that it is possible to not go in cycles in extreme measures " or unique or in general anybody ". Unless it is possible so? It can be possible to direct its or his ideas to "golden mean" - to remain durzjami?

[Kleopatra.]

Hello the Doctor!

I liked the answer, thanks:).

From each illness in this world
The medicine is il at all is not present spasenja
You to find try that medicine
And if there is no it or him, not much itself it is vain.


= I cannot operate or control events, I give to them to operate or control myself =
= Henry Ford =



I want prohonour the book which you have recommended and to reflect with you, that is - Our Life!?

[Wel:-D]

Hello, TISSA!
I have read through your letter and I can tell or say to you, that after its or his perusal I had an impression, that you realize, that you lose. Loss of attitudes or relations with the person, for losing is practically equivalent morses of this person and is perceived very hardly and, certainly, to lose you do not want. And, you realize irrevocability and consequences of loss, that makes heavier your experiences even more. I understand you. I know as hardly it to feel. The pain from it or this can sometimes become so strong, that can want to stop its or her any by. What to do or make? The price of love is high and often is a luxury which is presumed not by many. Try to bear or take out it with honour. Under your letter I have noticed, that you open to your familiar douche that is called " till the bottom or fundus ". In this letter you offer him the most dear or expensive, the most secret, that at you is. What for? To me kazhetsja, that you it do or make with the purpose to avoid partings with it or him, a pain accompanying this parting. To not notice, that you do not want this parting that are ready literally on all for the sake of it or this can only blind... Or the person which it to notice not favourably and for the sake of it or this he can pretend blind and hard. Re-read closely or attentively the answer of your friend. Especially here this place: "... Well times you do not want, so I and shall not force!!!)) "
What at you vozniajut in this occasion of feeling?
If you cannot unequivocally distinguish or recognize them, try to re-read the letter and its or his answer so much time, how much it will be necessary for you for understanding own feelings which 2 these or it letters cause in you. Pay attention to a difference, on contrast of sensations. However, I shall not prompt:)
Share that could feel, feel, the ideas.

P.S. Accept my gratitude, for that trust which you have rendered me and participants of a forum, having published so secret letter. I appreciate your trust.

[Wel:-D]

Hello, Kleopatra!
Esteem the book and if want let's after that reflect above a question " That there is our life? " The question it not idle and difficulty of the answer to it or him does not do or make it a question abstract. On the contrary, all human life depends on the answer to it or him.

[TISSA]

Hello, the doctor! Thanks for the answer. I already wrote, that I from its or his letter have strange feelings. It is absolutely impossible to reach it or him... He as a wall. Zatsiklen only on own problems and sobstvnnyh ideas... He always was such and is. But I always understood it and accepted. He for it or him is the most important on light an essence. Actually at it or him too a huge heap of psychological problems and, most likely, something has once occured or happened and at engo, but I do not know about it or this. He never spoke (and can be and itself does not remember). But something is exact in its or his consciousness has occured or happened, because tk as he behaves sometimes normal people without psychological problems do not behave...
But I not about it or this. What feelings? I do not wish it or him to lose as the friend, I already wrote. I do not wish to be more with it or him close (he has very much offended me), but I do not wish to lose it or him as person who takes not an empty place in my life... And here he does not want compromises... Some days after that letters, we occasionally communicate by phone - literally some minutes, or we write SMS... Very strange all this occurs or happens. He has left for me the decision that will be further. It is necessary to me to come to it or him;them and to tell or say, that I wish to be with it or him - we shall be together again, but I precisely know, that will be very well absolutely short, because its or his complexes and its or his insults for a life (it or him, not mine then will start to get out!), Which will stir or prevent to our normal attitudes or relations. And I have not forgotten still insult which he has caused me - for me it seriously, and he and has not told or said "forgive or excuse" to me in eyes (apologized, was sorry by phone, in the letter, but did not speak to face). I remember in what he then was a status - I such never saw it or him and did not know... I yet have not forgotten also I for what I do not want repetition... Therefore close I with it or him any more shall (you understand that I have in view of). I wish to communicate simply with it or him, to call if to me it will want to call, I do not want that we jumped aside from each other in the street at an occurring, I wish to spend sometimes time together, guljatb if it will want... I Want that we simply remembered about each other... I want nadejatja on its or his help if she will be necessary to me also itself is ready to help or assist... But he does not want?... Though I duamaju, that he have inspired myself, that cannot be the friend. All this until then while he will not meet the girl who is pleasant to him. Then he will cease so to think. And can is not present?
Its or His letter is a wall. He and has not understood that I wished to inform up to it or him. And one exclamation marks (by the way, and what does it mean?)... He wants as he wants. That I it or him understand - all so want, but so all the same it will not turn out...
I have correctly understood your question about letters? I "have correctly solved" it or him? Or nevertheless something has missed? You have not wanted to prompt me on what to pay attention. I have missed nothing
Tell or Say, whether it is possible somehow sklonit it or him to the compromise and to make so, chtoy he has understood, that friends are a great value and it is what is it very healthy, if we can become them.

[Wel:-D]

No, not correctly.
You hurry up. Hurry up more quickly to itself to explain a situation. To explain more quickly, than to understand her. So you risk to explain to yourselves not that is actually.
Try all to make that I have suggested - to esteem the own letter and to esteem its or his letter. To try to estimate or appreciate that disappears behind texts of both letters. They cause what feelings in you? You write, that its or his letter causes in you "strange feelings". It keep to the point. Strange. They can look or appear for you strange ridiculous or not pertinent. If it was on another you already would realize them. But they for you "strange". Try to go further and to describe them. Than strange? How they are called? What is this feelings? Describe them. Make the same with the letter, having read through it or him as though from. Then prochtite their one behind another also estimate or appreciate the feelings. If these feelings will be characterized by you as strange, not clear, etc., simply make it still time (all procedure). Do or make it or her so much time while feelings caused by letters do not become for you absolutely clear. Do not try to replace this procedure by "comprehension", the pseudo-logic analysis to guess and so forth It either is done or made by attempts so, or not done or made in general.
Try or Taste. Probably, that you are expected with some opening.;)

[TISSA]

Yes, the doctor, well and zadachku you to me have set! It is complex or difficult to me to solve it or her. It is difficult to re-read letters
I cannot read the letter. To crying. It in me causes only the same sensations which were at me in the childhood when all those events occured or happened. To me hardly and painfully it to read, therefore allow me to not do or make it or this any more. Understand the letter I can. So it seems to me But still I think, that in vain I to him have opened soul till the bottom or fundus - I think, that it in general that was not necessary for him. Probably a saying be easier also people to you will be pulled itself justifies, though I personally consider or count what "to be easier" it too simply and it does or makes people insensible and empty I simply wanted, that he has understood as painfully does or makes by the acts and words, but he has not understood, in my opinion
I have read through its or his letter and have thought once again. In my opinion to him all the same. All the same I test what feelings. He cannot understand them because itself did not experience. He is more necessary to me than I to him. He not will force me if I do not want . Here what's the matter! To force? How it "to force"? As it is possible to force to be together or to not be, like or to not like...?! Though, actually, he, really, forced me to do or make much - I have understood it. Not once he offended me, and then spoke Excuse, but I NEEDED SO TO MAKE , on a question What for? Responded to understand something for itself , and what to understand and whether has understood spoke. He will not force, because, probably, has received that wanted. I do not know that he wanted. Already I do not know. Strange, but earlier I thought, that he likes me. Now so it not seems to me. Or he is not able to like at all (because he as "likes" mum who can easy allow to offend to itself). He writes, that cannot come, because to him it is a shame to Me was not pleasant. It is a shame? Well also that. I wait, and he does not wish to come does not want. Later, by phone, he spoke, that does not wish to come, because knows, that mum with the brother in a course of our quarrel. He considers or counts, that it is impossible to speak parents such things because I for them the child and all of them perceive as their child have offended . And I am very glad, that I can entrust all to mum. She at me very wise woman and kind, always supports or maintains and helps or assists me and never precisely tries to wag on my choice. He fine knows, that she a word would not tell or say in its or his address if he has come, but he does not wish to come, because it is a shame to him Speaks, that on it or him will look as at the offender of their child. He does not call to me now on a home telephone number because is afraid, that parents will take a tube. Wildness or absurdity. Calls only on cellular to Him unpleasantly to know, that mum with the brother know its or his "wrong side" (by the way, I never abuse stories and I speak exactly so much, how much I wish to tell or say something to the parents, and it is far not 100 % of the information)
He wants, that I have come to it or him;them on a visit if I wish to talk Yes all already have told or said. Now to him to tell or say to me though something I do not wish to go to it or him;them, I do not want is in its or his room where we last time and have sworn more, I do not wish to look in the face to its or his lovely parents to whom I have very much liked, and the nobility about myself what the son at them, that he can offend and is strong
He, probably, again wishes to force me therefore and puts a condition either to be together or to not communicate .
Know, in general it is very complex or difficult to me to understand this person, therefore I and ask your help.
Someone can and will seem strange, that, not looking on everything, I do not wish to not communicate simply with it or him and to not think any more about itself of time he such bad , but I know all its or his good parties or sides., I know what he was earlier, 2 years ago when we have met and met. He did not behave so. Now conducts. Why? He has changed? I? I have allowed? Help or assist me to understand. To me it is complex or difficult.

[Wel:-D]

Hello, TISSA!
I am sorry for that you ask to me questions, and I respond to them the questions. I do or make it deliberately. You ask me to help or assist to you to understand, that occurs or happens and thus ask to me direct questions on the same subject. But to help or assist to understand to YOU that with you occurs or happens or to explain, that IN my OPINION now prishodit are different things. Yes, I had a certain opinion in this occasion. Speaking in other words, I know, I see that now occurs or happens. But I as see, that it or this is not seen yet by you. My knowledge, my vision of a situation can help or assist you only in the event that will help or assist you to receive your OWN knowledge, will help or assist you to see All situation OWN eyes so, that at you would disappear necessity to ask questions in occasion of your situation to me. It is a problem or task much more difficultly, than easier or simply to tell to you about it or this. The difference approximately same as difference meanwhile, what to tell blind about the world surrounding it or him or to make it or him zrjachim, that he it would see all. Will agree, that the last - is more preferable. On it or this you do not receive from me direct answers to the questions, and receive following questions, on which you need to make efforts for the answer. I cannot open to you an eye, in it or this there will be no sense. But I can I can HELP or ASSIST to make it to you. It or this we now also are engaged:)
It was the introduction;)
So, if do not wish to read the letter - do not read. But consider, what is it will lower your chances clearly to see a situation surrounding you. It, know, how in Butusov's songs: "... What to see their light, we drank or saw bitter grasses... " Gravity and a pain which appear at perusal of the letter by you speaks that there for you still is a lot of the job, a lot of hidden or latent and not understood. While this position exists, you are in danger. As wrote Put-?U in the book " the Treatise about conducting war ": "... You do not know yourself, you do not know the opponent - 100 times enter fight, never will win... " If wish to drag in itself and behind itself a heap of mossy myths and prejudices about itself - then blink, stop up a nose and ears - at you all to turn out:)
Further, I wish to tell or say to you, that by poslednemuu to the report - you on a correct way concerning your friend. But for the present on a way. You write to me about ideas of its or his letter accompanying reading. Now write about feelings. Remember, you named their strange? Write, what feelings in you are caused now with perusal of its or his letter?

[TISSA]

You ask me to tell about feelings. I shall try to understand that I feel.
When first time has read through the letter at me there was a feeling... Strange. Disappointment. I would name it or him so. I was disappointed, because expected other reaction, more warm feelings.

Now at me colder head and I, reading, almost feel nothing. It is tired. Is simply tired to feel.
Now prochtiaju also I shall try or taste.
I feel, that I wish to knock it or him on its or his silly head that he though has slightly looked or seen at things under other angle of vision! It would be desirable to dip it or him into cold douche that he "has departed" as from "hang-over" as though. I want that he has stopped children's babble, I want that was more adult and is wiser... I Feel, that he though has slightly thought as I, well has even tried or tasted, that though has tried to feel that I feel!
He does not do or make anything to be schastlivyi and liked as he wants. He does or makes to people painfully, and wishes to be unique both liked and the best! It revolts me! I am am revolted with that he will conduct itself(himself) humanly (as I understand) only after to him WILL prove, that he unique and the best. WILL prove?! I in general do not understand it or this! And where feelings then? Where that love about which he spoke? Where what he named " to not spit on another "? It turns out to him, navoborot, to spit, because I SHOULD HIM to SOMETHING PROVE!
To put it briefly, I am disappointed and revolted or indignant. Here.
The only thing, that me has pleased in pervj time, kogdaja only has received this letter, it that he in general has written it or him and has written without rage and with hope that something or something else can be changed. Has pleased that the letter if to not put in each word and to not search for secret sense, positive and I was glad, that he wishes to see me. Then.

[TISSA]

Know, to sozhalnija, you to me have opportunities to respond daily, therefore events are developed or unwrapped, I unfortunately, cannot use your advice or councils and references because you cannot respond each time to letters. I wanted somehow rukovodststvovatsja your advice or councils to not make the next mistakes or errors and that the situation was resolved by the best image. But I in general not about it or this. And so - events were developed or unwrapped.
After those letters we continued to communicate by phone and on the Internet letters. Quite normally, it is possible to tell or say friendly (short of some stiffness - well strange all the same a situation, now we who is not clear the friend-friend). In one of evenings after the next telephone conversation, he has sent me SMS (otkorovenno) " I wish to borrow or occupy with you sex. It is direct the most severe sex! I simply very much want you. I want sex with you for etovse 11 points (we somehow estimated or appreciated each other on 10 ball scale) " Asked to meet. I did not expect. postoprotivljalas (though spring, whether know) something has joked type " of you spermotoksikoz " and as a result all has ended with an occurring...
In the evening he has written to me on the Internet (we liked also such way of dialogue, except for usual). The letter too frank:
Greetings Saffron milk cap Pyzhik!!!

Mda, it hurts certainly not so well, but all seems to me what is it from
That that such decent dose which was not already enough taki
For a long time, I certainly do not know with whom you there still it do or make, but it seems to me
That at you it was last time with me as well as at me with tboj!!!
taki the arrangement I to any shall keep all!!! I hope that you
Too, well it is natural until then while at you or at me will not appear
Someone constant!!!:))) if how to be spoken it to you it is necessary!!! Yes
I yours understand shelters, and for some reason I perceive normally is
nishtjak!!! And in general, such attitudes or relations between us it is much better than when
Or. There is no duty the friend before the friend, both I am not jealous, and you
Well!!! Vobshchem fire as communicated and we shall communicate. If to us
It is pleasant to be engaged with each other in sex why is not present, what for to me
To go somewhere someone to search, with whom that to be soared, and you too, when
There are we each other, we know about each other more than others, and
Therefore as it seems to me, we can do or make it remorselessly.
Any superfluous epilogues, etc., etc., and personally I can directly tell or say
To you about it or this as well as you to me!!! If it certainly strains you, I
I shall naturally not insist!!!:))) all cheerfully and fervently, without
naprjagov, that else is necessary from attitudes or relations basically!!:)))
About mum, yes she in a course, at least particularly suspects and
Mega guesses, has approached or suited to me sednja means and speaks that type
Was going to vzdremnut, and there you are dared or laugh, squeal, shout, etc.
Naturally smiling. I have told or said that we raged, and so on, and she to me
In the answer: " Then che at you an erypsipelas such red "? And I have responded her that
With wind has inflated, and she posmejalas, and has responded nothing!!! Vobshchem all in
The order, she seems to me not against, this all taki YOU!!!:)))

> (a pancake why such things are shown "after", instead of "during"-
" And cheby it then was??? "
Excuse I cannot at me again hurts,
And features iu me too!!!
Well then give we shall not be.
Give!

Simply nishtjak:)))

[TISSA]

I in general to that such state of affairs quite arranges me. Now there is no blunt jealousy on an empty place and suspicions more, there are no more demands what to do or make and that are not present... To Me it is simple so easier. Whether we shall look or see for a long time its or his all so will arrange (because he generally always was itself against such attitudes or relations, and here itself here has guessed that so is better)
What will tell or say, Sergey?

[Wel:-D]

--
When first time has read through the letter at me there was a feeling... Strange.
Disappointment.
I was disappointed, expected more warm feelings.
...
Now at me colder head and I, reading, almost feel nothing.
It is tired. Is simply tired to feel.
---
You do not feel, what you now try to protect yourselves from understanding own disappointment in object of your attachment? Try to realize it. Feel as you it do or make.
---

I feel, that I wish to knock it or him on its or his silly head that he though has slightly looked or seen at things under other angle of vision! It would be desirable to dip it or him into cold douche that he "has departed" as from "hang-over" as though. I want that he has stopped children's babble, I want that was more adult and is wiser... I Feel, that he though has slightly thought as I, well has even tried or tasted, that though has tried to feel that I feel!
He does not do or make anything to be schastlivyi and liked as he wants. He does or makes to people painfully, and wishes to be unique both liked and the best!
__

You do not find, that here you express desire to change it or him to what he would become another? And what? Such what you wish it or him to see? You have created what image and have fallen in love with it or him completely? And what the object of a reality would correspond or meet to object of love, to knock the first on a head and to make with it or him other actions? You are assured, what is it so it is necessary for you? To make real object similar to the one whom you like? How you think, how much or as far as it is possible or probable?
Further, it is possible to see, what feelings in you are caused with real object the disharmony to your ideal object of love-
__

It revolts me! I am am revolted with that he will conduct itself(himself) humanly (as I understand) only after to him WILL prove, that he unique and the best. WILL prove?! I in general do not understand it or this! And where feelings then? Where that love about which he spoke? Where what he named " to not spit on another "?
___

Really, WHERE? The Good question! Can on it or him and will respond?

___

It turns out to him, navoborot, to spit, because I SHOULD HIM to SOMETHING PROVE!
To put it briefly, I am disappointed and revolted or indignant. Here.

___

It is normal. And should be. If will cease to protect the ideal image of the beloved from destruction by disharmonies with real object can divide or undresse those feelings which test to ideal object-image, to own child and feelings which test to the real person. Actually, about those and about others you already have written here. Now try to feel and understand that you have written.
__

Has pleased that the letter if to not put in each word and to not search for secret sense, positive and I was glad, that he wishes to see me. Then.
__

If, as you write "to not put", and to close eyes, stop up ears, etc. that it is possible for itself SUCH to imagine, SUCH image to create... And then to slightly open one eye and to start to be surprised to that, how much or as far as that you have presented yourselves also that that is not similar against each other.
Feel a difference!