The answer to Vladimir on the letter on mors of relatives from May, 24th 2004 21 : 23 : 27 Uvazha...

[Hazhilina I.I.]

The answer to Vladimir on the letter on mors of relatives from May, 24th 2004 21 : 23 : 27
Dear Vladimir!
You had a greater or big trouble. And after such serious utraty-a pain, grief, grief, depression - natural human reactions. As to aggression on the world and unfamiliar to you ljudej-such reaction also can arise after such serious loss the Person asks to itself a question: why it happens with me to that stirred or prevented our happiness? Also does not find the answer and the person starts to be angry with injustice of this world, and in general on all people But the given concrete people, is valid not and and vymeshchenie aggression on them will not return to you the wife, the son, the father And going on this way further you will destroy yourselves . There are stages of natural current burning or as still name normal job burning the-period in which person himself works above the trauma and tries to overcome the stress which has resulted psychological travmatizatsii. But unfortunately,-it not always can go right to the person and instead of "normal" job burning, job "pathological" burning is started. By your description at you pathological job burning, expressed in aggressive behaviour not only after the attitude or relation to other people and in general to world around, but also to itself was started. As you do or make everything to destroy the life. Think, what your wife who very much liked you observing would tell or say, whether that you with yourselves do or make she that you so have finished the life Wanted? Certainly, no. She would like to see the liked person happy.! Thus that he remembered its or her and the son and in memory of them, love to them has made something for itself and the life! Therefore in memory of them please take care of itself. Address for the help to doctors. Psychics here will not help or assist! At you now very complex or difficult period in a life also seems, that the output or exit is not present Can seem, what is it, and can be and so, that the output or exit is, but you do not see it or him. Now many modern medical preparations of new generation which help or assist the person to facilitate and normalize its or his status, allow to cope with aggression and depression. For their purpose or appointment you should address to vrachu-to the psychiatrist. Also you need to work with the psychotherapist to react all the collected negative emotions and to want to live again in the present. I so understand, that you live in Ukraine, therefore look for experts at yourself in city. If there will be an opportunity to reach to Moscow, can recommend good vracha-the psychiatrist. If psychotherapeutic consultation is necessary to you, can address to me internally. t. 8 916 140 74 55. (I also advise in Moscow). My full data it is possible to find, having pressed a red inscription with initials first name, middle initial, last name

[Vladimir]

I am valid myself now I destroy, and anything with it or this I can not do or make... I now cost or stand at deadlock, I day by day more increasing or more and more and I think of mors more... I go mad more and more... I recently in the street have entered into "trance", and have beaten the casual passer-by, at all I do not know what for, have simply beaten, when have stopped to beat, have understood, that I have done, pozonil in 03 and have left to him 150 dollars, on treatment, I think, to him will suffice... If only he has not submitted to militia, because me will plant or put in psihushku... I do not wish to live without my wife, and especially without my son. Understand, I am valid from liked, and if at me have offered your mors, but a life of the wife (or the son) or on the contrary, I would respond without meditations... I do not know, that to me now to do or make, me 20 years, like a life only begins, but for me she already comes to an end... Recently I behind myself have started to notice such ideas, instead of whether to leave to me this world for ever? Or something like that, ka to me to relieve the world of the problems connected with me... More shortly, more increasing or more and more and I think of suicide more... To the psychologist I can not go, at me the salary, already in the extremity or end of June, and now money hardly suffices on buying or purchasing meal... I have stopped before a precipice and now I cost or stand I think: whether " It is necessary to step forward? ". I already know the answer, and he - positive...

[Alexey]

Vladimir, I very much sympathize with you, it really is very serious. When read your story - already murashki on a back have run. Probably I than cannot help or assist you, but very much it would be desirable. It would be desirable to bring your to a focus in words the doctor that your wife and the child wish to see you happy. Even now, when they are not present with you series, all of them peerly want it or this. You believe in it or not is so. I do not think, that that world in which they now such as to us it or him the church and the bible, he draws another, but he is, people cannot completely vanish after a life on the ground. Still before I have met the wife, it or she had a moment in a life when she tested a status of clinical mors, and she knows that thus occurs or happens. I firmly convinced that people do not die. 25 years to me, my grandmother who has brought up me from the cradle 2 years ago has died, and was person very close to me which mors I hardly experienced. During lifetime of she cared of me as soon as could, and after its or her mors she continues it to do or make. People do not die, they continue us to like and care of us. Listen to itself - really you do not feel love of the wife and the child? Really you do not feel as they experience for you, looking how you suffer now? Also be not mistaken, thinking that they do not know about your sufferings. For some seconds exchange with them places, and present what is it not they, but you have left them. And here, you see their sufferings, but can make nothing to stop them.. You will experience even more them, and unique your desire will make so that they were happy. From the moment of mors of my grandmother I am done not left or abandoned with real sensation, that we do not see as though temporarily, that sooner or later we shall meet. Fairly to tell or say I even firstly was surprised, whence such ideas. But the sensation does not vanish. I know, that people do not die. And sooner or later you will see them. But you should reject ideas on suicide. From all re-read by me on this subject of books I know, that suicide - one of the most terrible sins. I shall not go into details, but understand one - you it or this will not approach your occurring, but only otodvinite it or her for acritical term, probably even for ever. Delirium? Yes, probably. At least if you about it or this did not think - that most likely so to you earlier and will seem. Well and if is not present? Can it is necessary to try to live a life even for the sake of your occurring? In fact I know, that for the sake of it or this you will go on everything if only there was a hope again them to see, embrace... Can when you will meet them, you recollect my words and will tell or say it or him - " I lived only so that again you to see "... Think, it seems to me is necessary to try or taste. You will tell or say - well all peerly how me to live further? I do not call you to reject all of an idea about your liked, urgently to search to myself new sputnitsu, etc., Thus " becoming happy ", no! For example, borrow or occupy in self-improvement, development of your inner world, buy books about it or this, read through a couple, then will understand in what direction to you to move further. I only want, that simply you remembered for the sake of what you should live. I know, to advise easily, but fairly to tell or say I not the fan or amateur to give advice or councils on internet-forums, and in a life vobshchem-that, is simple your history me have very much touched, and everything, that I have written above have been told or said in all sincerity.

[Willi]

Vladimir - and what for it is necessary? What exactly do you wish to find in a precipice?

[Natalia]

Vladimir, unique who can give you hope and a consolation now, is the God and belief. In fact the hope and a consolation in griefs, instead of reception of a medicinal stupor or euphoria are necessary to you. Try to address on a site / www. pravoslavie. ru " questions to the priest " or come in a temple to the cleric. Not you the first, not you last who returns meaning of the life thus.

[Vladimir for Natalia]

I - became the atheist...

[Illarion]

On the Earth at us at all two roads. One - to the God, the second - to a devil. You, Vladimir, go to devil system. By the way, disposals of sufferings much less freedom of a choice will not turn out, on the contrary, in devil system. " The god there where it or him START up ". The exasperation, Vladimir, you do not start up it or him to yourselves. Meanwhile, your soul very much from it or this suffers (from here and your bewilderment in connection with changes in a life). So - the help seeing to you to not manage any more.

[bioenergetik]

Your belief has not stood test. prochtite Book Iova (Old testament). Also there was a change of a biofield, you from light became dark (torsionnoe the field now turns counter-clockwise). From here and all changes in your life. The level of aggression has catastrophically risen, you in danger as similar draws similar. Advice or council Illariona correct, in fact now to remove or take out programs and essence from you sense has no. Again quickly will type or collect. You need to understand with the reasons of that accident. If want, I shall write the vision of that situation.

[Natalia]

Stop, you ruin the immortal soul. I shall pray for you.

[The anonym]

At you it's OK the guy - you go on a correct way! FORWARD! Come off on full, remove or take off a load with svoiz brachiums! A wind, road, rate! In you this all slept! The stress was necessary to you!!! And here it schaste-happens! Now you are free! Your imaginations of the childhood anybody any more will not lock away fidelity, obligations, necessity! You are free!!! You one!!! What can be better than freedom and happiness of loneliness?!!! Anything! Only a wind in ears, only hum in wires. Only.... Freedom lii it? Whether happiness it? Do not tighten or delay you bog, the guy! Can to jump out in time! Do not sell soul to a devil! Also do not blame itself, that that began to fasten shnurok!!!!!!

[Continuation]

Test is given to you... From above... Not to you it or him to cancel, but to you it or him to pass or take place! That you did or made that not so where that you were mistaken! You are punished! This your payment for mistakes or errors and yours and your ancestors! For that that was necessary it! Do not admit or allow, that your children would be debtors for your mistakes or errors! Do not save sins! Do not make a mistake or an error which in the future will lay down on your child, let he already and has left in the world other! The atheist became? Is well! You do not believe all this nonsense? And to my posts too? Do not believe, not gruzis-go down stream! The life will show, who is right and rasstavitt points itself! It is a pity, that such good person dies! It is a pity, that you die! And in fact could also son to give birth and not one! It is a pity.. But you have chosen a way itself!!! Go on it or him;them! Your children will pay off, and you will look or see at them later, from above, and will be glad or pleased, what you destiny have prepared them!! Forward, the guy!!! Go!!! But.. Look back back before last step... Look or see in eyes to the liked wife, posmoti in eyes to the son.... Come round.. . Let your soul lives in the afternoon, do not leave in black night..

[Natalia]

Vladimir, think, the acts and a harm which tightens or delays you, you excruciate souls or douches of the relatives. Do not give in demonizmu and other rubbish. For the sake of them even.

[Willi]

Vladimir - you the strong person, to you by nature dadeno much both much - and completeness of feelings, and completeness burning cannot be carried this or thus in itself and only in itself... And pleasure, and gorem (da-yes, and gorem) sharing, only so survive... Unfortunately, to strong people force of EXPERIENCES, transitions from one life to another, from one status to another is seldom given also... The pendulum of their life shakes or is pumped very sharply, practically not passing or not taking place the middle, where all rather silently and easy...
There was a bright, sparkling both warm occurring and a life with liked and the son... A nightmare and mountain have taken away you now... And for you (the strong and courageous person) such otmashka in passionate to mountain and blackness are normal... You have nobody to share, for for separation such burning the person should be not from this world (as the priest or the eremite as the doctor in psihushke - there it is impossible to be other)... For you is not present black, grey and white - is now only black after your solar... And it is normal, that now you such... Accept itself such, as the usual person cannot (even the close friend) to divide or undresse with you you now...
And more... It is unessential to you to remain in city, risking to bring down someone casually, being carried on a motorcycle...
Leave the forester, leave in distant pedestrian campaigns, leave on the north, but work (exhaust itself) physically...
Not time while to think... While accept itself such and help or assist the not divided or undressed force there where she is necessary...

[Vladimir]

People, here that concourse svjatoverujushchih hrestijan chtoli??? The help your "supreme" is not necessary to Me. He has already helped or assisted me, if those is... What, to hell, posts??? What psalmy??? What Gods??? I know one: I now the derelict, I shall not get once again children, I shall not get wives. If I such have made something, for what so has heavy paid, can be, that payment to be not unitary!!! What for I to people of destiny shall spoil? I simply shall live further as a plant!!!! Nobody stirring or preventing and nobody touching or tampering with... I have already learned to supervise "explosions", I now have understood as them to operate or control and manipulate... For this day spent on new satlnom a horse, I have understood, that there is I actually... That that was me before is simply so, stuff, covering, a mask. Formed by education... I have understood: I - fire, I - a flame, henceforth am only I and my steel horse... And now to me on all to spit.. . Yours propovedcheskie appeals to church, to humility, to ostepeneniju in what will not result or bring... Now simply it became a pity to me of those people who have spent all life living at church with "Lord". I do not believe in all these yours "bajki" about justice, about any poppycock. As Vladimir Vysotsky has told or said: " the Convenient religion was thought up by hindus if the person dies dies for ever! " . There is only I, road and a motorcycle with tysjachekubovym the drive, that's all! I evoljutsioniroval, I lived as the grey mouse or mousy, submitted to my boss. Which squeezed out of me everything, that in me was, today I was it or him... I, am absolute without remorses, who has told to him he such where he was born where he lives also what prospects at it or him on the future... - to mine I have made correctly... At least to that there was acknowledgement or confirmation storm of applause of all my former currency department! I now have understood, who I am actually, instead of the one whom I was earlier! I now new, the best, I accomplished or perfect;absolute! I have simply understood, that means to live one day, not building plans for tomorrow... I now fall asleep analyzing my day, I wake up and I think from what to begin today's... Any ambitions, any emotions... But it does not mean, that I do not grieve any more on my wife and the son, no, nivkoem time!!! Earlier I shouted at night iz-for that what is it have occured or happened, and now I shout only because it so have occured or happened... Here she - that evolution throttle also reason!!! I think, that I on a correct way...

[The anonym]

Neznaju Vladimir, esli moe pismo vam pomozet? Daleko v Rossii u menja byla devushka k kotoroj bolshe vsego nasvete chotel vernutsa. No v rezultate menja sejcas zamotala chitraja baba, s kotoroj ja daze v samom koshmarnom sne ne mog seba predstavit.
Ponimaesh prosto toboj budet kto to upravlat, vsej tvoej ziznju, pritom mozet izmenjat. I teba ja sejcas ponimaju poterat blizkich sam ty eto ne osilish obratis esli ne k psichologu to chota by prosto zajdi v kakuju nibud cerkov, odnu druguju eto pomogaet. Derzis

[Natalia]

Well, yes, the lonely wolf carried on steppe. Passed or took place all this, the muzhik. You think, you one, so the victim in a life? Go to traumatology, children and women, same, as yours there are excruciated. Killed such here desperate. Go to an oncology, there at shortage of medicines and it is simple diapers alive people decay in what not povinnye! And you, healthy and young, could something or something else make for them. Not in a monastery and to a repentance you call! Type " most ohmurezh has gone ". You wake up! A tin, a toy has bought or purchased, " the currency department applauded "! The Poor, poor boy.

[AND.]

- I now new, the best, I accomplished or perfect;absolute! - YES, the DEMON of ARROGANCE DOES NOT DOZE!.. It is a pity, that the person has not stood test, ahead sumasshedstvie and mors. After it or her there will be a court, and the Devil will take away to itself. Well in fact it will be poto-an ohm, and whether will be?... - If I something such has made, for what so has heavy paid, can be, that payment to be not unitary!!! What for I to people of destiny shall spoil? Is a wrong reasoning, at all the karma. Simply you are already adjusted or set already up on disorder, entropiju. What for then to ask the help?

[For.]

Go to an oncology, there at shortage of medicines and it is simple diapers alive people decay in what not povinnye! = == == search it! A cancer it is necessary "to deserve".

[For the anonym on May, 28th 2004 01:20:37]

e. How it to deserve? At all my respect for Bulgakov's creativity I do not divide or share;part your point of view. It turns out, what chernobyltsy "have deserved" a cancer?

[Willi]

Natalia - you are right... But also without liberation he too will not extend... If only has not brought down anybody...

[The anonym]

It turns out, what chernobyltsy "have deserved" a cancer? A complicated question. - visible, the majority YES.

[VOLODJA!!!]

LET out or RELEASE pairs or steams!! Have a rest. You can live further!! As vpomnju that my son was not lost nearly in avtokatastrofe-reanimation, and scratchs on the second son. The share of second has separated it or him from mors. Yes what to speak.. All this on my eyes. In fact could expel them from the machine or car (a ring in Moscow 5 strip) but was frightened - how to pass. And only two minutes... Impact.. And.. All zavertelos. ju Till now all this before eyes. And here if I have deduced or removed them from the machine or car... But, praise to the Lord and doctors. Are alive. But the pain in any way does not wish to leave. Here and now tears.. Though in some days five years.. Live Volodja. Live. Let out or release pary-he/she is your your psychologist liberates. Only remember both the son and the wife. They to you kindly will not allow to forget. Live as it would be desirable. And failure will pass or take place in due course so do not reproach its or his people!