Просмотр полной версии : All of kind hour! Help or assist to cope with change of the husband. In marriage or spoilage there is a child...
All of kind hour! Help or assist to cope with change of the husband. In marriage or spoilage there is a child 4 h years. The husband is more senior than me for 7 years (to him 32). She from its or his words of its or his age. I can not so to live more. I do not know where to find force to save family. .i I am excruciated by a question and what for? Certainly, the exact fact of change it is not established or installed, he speaks, that with her only communicates, but from job to be late till 22 o'clock, any more all sides passes it. Snachalo there were only my guesses, and to be found out became, when she has called on days off to him, and I was series... I should notice it or this, I like its or his and incorrigible owner, it and prevents to consult. Help or assist, plz.
JUlja! I Am afraid, that that efficient I shall not advise. I only could feel yours to mountain. Yes, yes, this real to mountain and an excruciating! I too a terrible owner, by the way, and how should be if you like the person? Talk to it or him. Put him ultimatum-Family or she. Then all becomes clear. I can is not right about the ultimatum, but I so have made, because I consider or count, either to live, or to not live. And to live and lgat, to excruciate the wife, syna-what for? I about it or this maksimalistka, I too could not reconcile to change. Likes another? The Cloth a path! It is terribly sick, but even more sick and tupikovej all it to see and so to live. Especially, at rastavanii there is a good chance, that he will return, as at the ultimatum there is a chance, that he will think again. But if walks, and to forgive, be excruciated silently, is not present what chance, what is it will not be all life. And in fact it is better to remain one in 25, rather than in 45, whether not so? Real istorija-the mistress has given birth, that the husband at last taki would leave family, the wife has learned or has found out it, and itself bystrenko to the second has given birth, ljubovnitsa-too the second. .klass! Such it is pleasant to you? I would not compete with the mistress, and would release or let off good luck..
JUlechka, all that I can tell or say to you: I you understand your pain. Time all is sometimes simple puts on places... Sometimes not in your advantage or benefit. Sometimes everyday admonition of the husband helps or assists, sometimes pavor of the husband to lose the arranged life and family, sometimes simply cowardice before changes, and sometimes and the husband leaves... It is possible to try to meet its or his familiar lady, to make friends. It is possible poprikalyvatsja above the husband, to collect in its or his morning on job and to put imperceptibly in a pocket a condom, ironiruja, that worry for its or his health. It is possible to suggest for him to leave most, but do not collect to him a thing - let all will make ITSELF. At and it is possible and to cause or call its or his jealousy. Look on a situation, in fact at everyone the character, and anybody is better than you your husband does not know. Patiences to you and forces, JUlja. Can it is valid the ultimatum? I do not know.. Well and that about an owner, then in fact as... Your husband there freedom Can has seen? t. e. Thinks, what there freedom will be?:)) WILL not be!!! All of us owners, explain to him.. Can release or let off simply - go the darling, time to you there is better - go... JUlja forces to you! And let all will be how you want!!!
And why you should nothing notice? Talk to it or him. First of all about your attitudes or relations. Because only muzhiks of breed " a dog country " on women run. In other cases on the left go, as in the family something does not suffice. Here you also learn or find out. That he thinks of your attitudes or relations, that it or him arranges, that is not present. Can, he also does not change, but only thinks of it or this. Delays at job till 22 o'clock at many the frequent phenomenon iz-for jobs, instead of iz-for presence of the mistress.
With Tusej it agree, besides completely. Even I think, that for certain changes also are not present, but she becomes ripe... And shadowings are inappropriate, the problem should to search and try be corrected, and to break marriage or spoilage and to divorce will be in time always if already will be not vykorobkatsja! Success!
Sapsibo huge all for support!!! It too is necessary in the given situation.
How much it is already possible to speak, find out attitudes or relations, like so all is explained. He approves or confirms, that all suffices him with me. Still speaks, that the man estimates or appreciates the woman under different factors, I am shorter it or him I arrange as the wife, as mother, etc. e. In practical sense of a word. BUT me of IT or THIS a little! I WANT THAT me AS the PERSON NOTICED And PERCEIVED And LIKED, certainly. There is a presentiment and not on an empty place this jealousy has arisen. I wish to believe him to begin or start, here recently and began to search proofs to its or his words... Almost to believe the beginnings, and here such..... Three weeks before were already on a way of divorce, he in itself (himself) has got confused, crisis age already can has begun, spoke, that does not know as to me to concern and that he wants from a life, that he should think. Has left for business trip, thought and has decided, that the family should be saved. After that all like would be normalized also I tried, BUT all has again changed... .teper almost precisely I know in what he understood and thought.... GovoritE, that if wished to divorce from me for a long time it already would make. Thanks, all of you for wishes but where these forces to dig out.......
Chelenum, to the psychologist I addressed, when disintegration (one month ago) only has begun. - an extreme measure, I was defined or determined, that I wish to save family (but then the suspicions, as well as the husband considered or counted paranoej). When has learned or has found out, as he too has suggested him to be engaged with the psychologist to study to build family attitudes or relations. But he categorically refuses, speaks, what all is already normal, or you again wish to begin all??!!! Another the man, at least other husband, I am not going to to search, t. To. I know that I shall not find better (very few decent men), can he and it will be more romantic, vnimtaelnee to me, whether but on long? And the most important, that to the another's child not everyone can become the present or true father. I fine realize it. The ultimatum to put, dak he will tell or say it your choice, want break family. Considers or counts, that he has already made a choice - family. And if I wish chtoto to change, already I should oprdelitsja that I want. But as to me to explain to him that if ourselves we can not cope with a problem someone's help is necessary. He considers or counts, what is it unduly. Yes, by the way, that, which called, besides from its or his words, married... Someone Can coped with a similar situation? Where you derived strength? As itself to constrain, I am constant I can not it or this. In fact every day test, with its or his delays at job... And these business trips, there he absolutely is completely given to itself (himself...) And at it or him from the first unsuccessful marriage or spoilage, but we the child already grows in normal attitudes or relations with that semyoj.
YOU work? Try to leave from these problems a little aside. Men start to look at the wife - to another when notice, that she appears is necessary still to that that
, Except for it or him.............
JUlja, I think, the only thing that it is possible to make in your situation... It to neglect everything as to you it is not bitter from it or this. He is excruciated similar. But make that at home to him was well, cosy comfortably, and borrow or occupy in itself, job, study, courses... Dialogue! And houses the world and calmness... Let the conclusion does or makes!
Svetlana
19.08.2004, 09:59
JUlja, I am excruciated 1, 5 years. As soon as has learned or has found out about change, has raised the question: I or she. He has responded - family. But also with that cannot finally tear in any way. Close relations have ended, saved only business, but to me from it or this it is not easier. Our attitudes or relations became better, warmer, than earlier, but here their occurrings dement me. And to do without them it is impossible: teamwork. Time and only vremja-our ally. It is necessary to wait while attitudes or relations on the party or side will fade. Terribly, hardly, but where an output or exit another?
JUlja, allow to express admiration of your behaviour, that what even under such serious circumstances you wish to save family and attitudes or relations.
I have faced a similar problem, and I represent that you test. One of the most unpleasant parties or sides in such situations this that that they occur or happen on a workplace of the partner. In fact it is impossible for anybody to forbid to go on job EIGHT hours per day daily!!!
First of all, do not listen to those maromoek which declare that " a problem in you, change is yours and a defect, all men poligamny, etc. " I ASSURE YOU: it is CLEANLY EXTERNAL FACTOR, and you to it or this have no attitude or relation. You are not worse at all than it or her, you are younger, and you have an inexhaustible oof in a life - the CHILD!
I do not dare to advise you what to do or make - to save family or to miss, I can tell or say only that I have stretched pol-year, and then was going to with forces and jerk have broken off attitudes or relations. To go through these or it half a year it was serious enough, in tk a pore I and have come across this site though to safe people it and in a head will not come. But with break of attitudes or relations I am simple ozhil, and before was in any dope.
I am am helped or assisted by an idea: " PROBABLY I DID or MADE SERIES of MISTAKES or ERRORS In the JOINT LIFE, BUT ALL was normal BEFORE OCCURRENCE of THIS PERSON In our LIFE, In the HOUSE there was a LAUGHTER And WARMLY, And NOW IT or THIS is not present!!! " And AT LEAST YOU In IT or THIS are guilty NOT ONE!!!
Success to you, believe, the life will not end, and to not be slowed down for a minute! It will be sick, it will be obligatory, probably as some years, but will be obligatory also pleasure, and is possible or probable, you will meet the person who again will install in you belief in people!!! Strong I wish good luck, you not one!
JUlja, pray Guriju, samonu and Avivu - this pray helps or assists to eliminate or erase; remove family disorders, quarrels, quarrels. And suddenly it will help or assist you, in fact difficult minutes we recollect the God. I after treachery of the husband have gone to church ispovedyvatsja, and the Father to me have strictly told or said: itself it is guilty, has forgotten about the God, has neglected all. I very much would like, that at All of you it was good with family, and your husband except for you did not notice anybody. Happiness to you and mutual love.
Hazhilina I.I.
23.08.2004, 00:20
Hello JUlja! If I have correctly understood you, the fact of change is not established or installed. That that describe as the facts podtverzhajushchie (delays at job, zonki on voskresenjam-yet javjaljujatsja dokazateslstvom). But also business that not in it or this. And what to do or make if it so... .i how to not spoil to itself a life if it not so. In any case, for itself it is important to understand, that change
From a psychological point zrenija-as a heat at a flu, a sign specifying that in a family boat there were holes. Also it is necessary to eliminate or erase; remove them differently to the ship will sink.
Accordingly, to adjust attitudes or relations in family, it is necessary to find and eliminate or erase; remove the reasons which to opportunities of occurrence of change have led.
It is important to understand, what exactly not so in your attitudes or relations, that in general has arisen such probability
The reasons can be the most different including excessive feeling sobstvenichestva one of spouses. In any case it is necessary to talk
With the husband that at you not so. And to suggest to discuss your disagreements. If can independently, with the psychologist.
Also it is necessary for you to borrow or occupy in itself. Change image, make a new hairdress, change style of the life. Let your husband thinks of that where you and with whom you... In vashchih forces to look or appear so, that any competitor simply will lose you. Success to you.
If consultation is necessary call t. 8 916 140 74 55 (From Moscow or area).
My data it is possible to find, having pressed a red inscription with first name, middle initial, last name
Dorogaia Ulia, I ponimaju vashe sostoianie. U menia bili takie je problemi s my pervim mujem.
Fakt izmeni ne bil ustanovlen, I nikogda ne sledila za muzhem, no I nabludatelnii chelovek. Vsegda chusvuesh izmenenia v povedenii blizkogo cheloveka. No I nikogda emu ne zadavala voprosov. Esli bi fakt izmnei podtverdilsia, to I bi vozmojno srazu rasstalas s nim. Poetomu I reshila zhdat. Nichego ne viiasniat. I verila vsem opravdaniem muzha, kogda on zaderzhivalsia. A esli zvonila zhenschina s raboti, to verila emu, chto eto delovoj zvonok. Ved esli vi hotite jit s muzhem, to vi doljni verit emu. Esli net veri, to trudno naladit otnoshenia. Vasha revnost i podozritelnost razrushit te hrupkie niti, kotorie vas sviazivaut. Esli konechno predpolojit, chto on vam izmenil. A vdrug net. Vashe nedoverie budet ranit ego i otravliat vam zhizn. Chtobi perezhit etot trudnii moment vam nuzhen psiholog. Samoy ochen trudno obuzdat svoi chustva. Kogda vse vnutri kipit ot obidi i boli.
Znaete, I nashla svoe uspokoenie v rebenke, provodila s nim vse svoe vremia.
A potom u muzha poiavilsia povod menia zarevnovat. On stal vse vechera provodit doma. Vse vnimanie mne. Stal ochen nezhnim i strastnim. No bilo slishkom pozdno, I poniala, chto ego uje ne lublu.
Nash brak rasplasia. Mozhet, esli bi I obratilas k psihologu v to vremia, to mozhno bilo bi chto-to izmenit.
Nachnite s sebia, esli vash muzh poka ne gotov, to vam nuzhna pomosch psihologa.
Not ustanu to thank all of you! After perusal of each report any trues open. To compete with the competitor I do not want. Let it or he does not have with her still sex attitudes or relations, but to it or this is ready, I see it on many trifles. And if she will show to it or him; them a step to it or this he will not give up, and any another in it situations. The most important to not admit or allow, that such step have undertaken and if to be to it or this ready.... I do not wish it or him to hold. Can about itself so not so well to speak, but I very interesting person attractive. Always I meet views of men on myself, and women. Besporno I am better than it or her, can is simple she more wisely that so the husband (sranivaja situations in families of friends) wishes to see in me. But I always speak him, that I shall never suffer or bear adventures of the husband. I give him much. I know what to like him my unpredictability, that always there is a variety in everything, even in postele. That else it is necessary to him? Yes, I understand, that my unique mistake or error that I am jealous it or him. But poverte there are reasons. For example, when still there was no child, and a vein in other city, he was here with another, and spoke me more return. But I already and have forgiven or excused it to him, t. To. For that moment we " were lost " with it or him. When I have left to study, and it or him could not find (he from other city, on job came). And I had a life and at it or him. But when we again were, he could from get rid or did not want... My pregnancy has put points above "i." He has taken away me here and since then we did not leave. And I wished to give birth and bring up or travail and bring up the child itself. Can it or him still I through chur frightens independence?!! But lately I began to rely on it or him much, it can on the contrary has ceased to like. Then gde-that one year ago at me the latent infections (already have found three!!!) . It is asked whence? The Pregnant woman last time handed over - anything. Here since this moment I have again ceased to believe him... Sejcha I do not work, it was necessary to leave, t. To. The child hurted or was ill; was sick much, and the husband has made efforts, t. To. Did not help or assist to solve a problem with the nurse. It was not pleasant to him, that I communicate with others, that at me such responsible or crucial site was, that it was necessary to be late, but in the certain days, before reports. I have taken a great interest in another, but only to fill what did not suffice me concerning with the husband (attention, sensations nuzhnosti). He, certainly, felt, estesvenno I never admit to him. Has courageously gone through it, at all did not ask, that at me someone is. But also did not undertake anything, and I then talked to it or him, explained, that I have been isolated from dialogue with others, and tepr here there is everything, that I have understood, that I like another, but that anybody another is not necessary to me, I want all it from you. Then we have accepted with it or him the arrangement, that I shall try to not supervise it or him, that I shall excuse for that which was, and he will give me of more attention. Well difficultly simply to embrace and kiss so protso without a reminder??!! Promised. But in some months when I kept heroically, and he is not present, I have asked why he does not carry out, that promised, but he did not remember, that promised... Has left taki... Stem the person too has ceased to see, has understood, that he is not necessary to me, that I want only from one person of all from liked. He was glad. Now from sends me on job that any ideas did not come to to me mind. Yes, I not from domohozjaeek, do not wish to sit at home, but circumstance such. The nurse only for sick-lists to not find anywhere, anybody n wants such changeable job and without the schedule. But even sitting at home, me to eat than borrow or occupy, it is a lot of addictings. In the first crisis tried to find activly job but to gain the child if we shall miss. But it is necessary to go to sanatorium, you will send nobody another's with dochkoj. Here also has refused. Can so it is necessary. In a month, I shall naturally find job and then I shall change the life. .vozmozhno... .mozhet he wants me so to revenge on the skrytyju a pain, what I have caused him??!! And sechas (already half a year) edinstvenaja my mistake or error is its or his control, but it to be convinced and again to start to believe... And here such....
Sacred Gurija, samona and Aviva I remember, certainly, even have got this icon in the first crisis (one month ago). To distract?!! It is impossible, well so for some minutes. Even when I read to the child of the book or I am engaged with her I can not concentrate on it or this, t. To. Think only with it or him and about itself... .u enja there is in a stock a month on meditations, shall consider here all your advice or councils and wishes. Thanks.
In occasion of izmeneija appearance: I so often change it or him. Style of a life too, business, sports, youth, now here koketki. So it would be desirable at present. If he considers or counts, that it is possible to communicate with other floor and not only on job. That woman, by the way, called to him to learn or find out he leaves or not... Probably, that precisely nobility, that he gde-that to not appear... Yes the god with her and with it or him. I consider or count, that if the person has made any decision should go in this direction, well ht to get under way or be tampered with... And in it or him dejtsvijah anything similar is not present. It is possible though, knowing my attitude or relation to delays though once to try to come during or before. Nothing to happen at job for one this day, and here in family much can change..... I do not wish to be furniture, that here there should be a wife!!! Understand, what happens so feel, can at it or him as well as I did not have with her sex attitudes or relations on the party or side, but he receives other all, wants calmness but how he can define or determine it in other time or temporary person with whom does not spend so much time, it can only visibility of this calmness, certainly, she will not be jealous it or him, and to itself to the wife?!!! Whether that. It or this its or his family and if she on it or him has put an eye will endure it, certainly, for any period. And he that the fool to lose all iz-for incomprehensibility of the future attitudes or relations? Or hzochetsja to take a walk? So what for such obvious traps to place, that I found an occasion?!!! He should understand itself (himself) not less. I with it or him cannot speaks, when he feels, that I understand it or him and I feel its or his ideas and the purpose naroshno acts so that to cause or call in me a boring that I have flashed, and he has run away, ostensibly to avoid the conflict, explaining, that then I would start to saw it or him. Yes, in the near future I go to the psychologist, first of all I want opredelitja with the ideas. To him it is bad??!! And me is even more serious, t. To. To have with the child still kak-that to keep, plus to all experiences. I the strong person, can consult, only here to understand with what and for what??!!!! I understand for what More precisely, that to the child so it is better also other different factors, but not absolutely it or this I want. I shall not fight for it or him, keeping, what the head on brachiums is not present??!! It is its or his choice!!! And I while choose patience, t. To. It is necessary to hold on before departure, and there communication or connection through phone, it is easier. Then it will be visible. I shall solve aside families if I shall see from its or his party or side though the slightest diligence, but not in calling on a habit and to ask as the child, as my business or affairs. I am sorry, that I here have undersigned, but it so nakipelo, whether zanete... Can though it becomes easier, and is more clear for many that it is more concrete to a situation to prompt something. At all different situations, and all rest. Thanks that there is such place where here so can pour out the douche and to find comprehension and support!!!
Has read through and was not kept, has decided to write. Here to you my example: (With the husband we have lived 7, 5 years, a daughter 6, me 27, to him 30) - 2 years ago to us the girl, its old friend under a kind " as though on affairs " has home come and the madhouse has begun in my life. When I asked it, you to me with her change, in the answer he started to shout at me. Here then I was in full rasterennosti, did not know, that to me to do. I completely was dependent on it financial and the habitation at me was not the. For that moment I did not work, t. To. The daughter was small often hurted, it was necessary raschitatsja to sit at home. I knew, that he to me changes, though he denied. All this last kashmar about 6 months, then kak-that poutihlo and was forgot. Feelings mo to it were gradually crushed by it. Time (7, 5 years) he me frightened All this, that I shall divorce from you you without me zdohnesh. About 7 months ago I began to understand, that at me to it VSE-is empty! And approximately at this time I have met the person and have fallen in love. Now we with the husband do not live 2 months after I have left, too much occured: he has returned to her, going to to go to have a rest, buy a new apartment. Then there were tears standing in a lap from it (and this all in parallel with vysheskazanym), bla sharing of property and d. t. Taper he suffers and speaks, that when I to him have untied arms, by way of that go on all four..., it is not necessary interestingly any more. Speaks, that I shall change, forgive and start up back. And in soul it is already empty, all is crushed, and back it would not be desirable any more. Here so, an example from my life so I wish you of all good, all will be good, necessary to like and respect with itself. Success!
Liza, I practically in the same situation am. The apartment too belongs to him, and my mum far lives. And he speaks, what is it all for us has been made. When I was going to to leave (after the first crisis) has thought of the child, that to her so will be more serious, if I it or her shall deprive liked sadika, all to her with habitual things. To her it is serious even on a visit gde-that to be, where is not present where to look or see an animated cartoon when prispichet, or a computer where it is possible to draw and all another to what she has got used. And absence of the daddy, will easier transfer or carry, t. To. He it is constant on business trips. The daddy at job and all. So if we shall miss, let he goes. I do not apply for it or him zhilyo droplets. It will be easier to him to wander, than me with the child, and then I and itself shall remove or shall take off zhilyo when the daughter will be ready. And if I shall leave, I shall not return any more, kakby it was not serious (and will be still tjazhele than now!), Also I shall not allow him to return. Has died so has died.... It is a pity that so all at you has occured or happened, more for a trauma of the child heart creaks, but probably so it is necessary. And I think of myself and I shall not allow to wipe about me a leg or foot! Will be worse, certainly, I shall divorce. For now here for something I wait... I hope, that can actually at it or him there is nobody... .posmotrim... Here in such status podveshannom also I am..... Thanks that were not kept to write. It would be desirable that at you all was adjusted in a life, with it or him or without it or him. The most important to think not only of itself when there are children.
After all your words it is easier kak-that became. And forces even to be steel. THANKS FOR THAT THAT VNIMTAELNY Also are not closed ONLY In the to MOUNTAIN!!! (t. To. Not all here go at whom a life it is safe... Who can only by virtue of a trade). You all have helped or assisted me at the given stage. Terribly think what stages can to be still... And as events with its or his arrival will turn... From it or this will be zavisit my decision which I bear or take out in daleke from it or him, having a rest with the child. Still time of thanks! All of you of goods and happiness!!!
Powered by vBulletin™ Version 4.2.0 Copyright © 2024 vBulletin Solutions, Inc. All rights reserved. Перевод: zCarot
