In continuation of a subject *quot; the help is urgently necessary!!! *quot;...

[anna_runa]

So, my feelings have come to the order, and I now can is normal think.

Those who has had time to see and read through my subject with a call for help, that will understand, about what I here now shall tell longly-is longly. And those who was not in time, let and do not know anything



Actually I shall tell about a problem not for long.

All has passed or has taken place normally, she not too strongly and experienced. My support, cheerful jokes and a gift have only finished in its or her experiences as she fine understands, that in the given situation I cannot make anything more. The same as also its or her husband.

Now I wish to tell to you pair histories that knowing my night throwings became more clear. But histories will be in the form of histories.



One - in the form of several sketches of year (!) prescription which I REALLY allowed to read to that which they intended.



Another - in the form of a diary which I too really conducted and has really allowed to read through to the same woman.



I think, that these records will better tell, why I so experienced the last night.

Though, I think, that they will tell not about her, and about me Well and let. That-that and to tell about myself I am not afraid.

I even like it, what those to that I after such stories cease to like thought of me.



The HUGE REQUEST to ignorant lives categorical maloletkam: do not speak here anything, it is not necessary.



So, HISTORY the FIRST (she will be from several posts because all at once is not located)

[The darling]

When I spoke you, that I shall not be jealous you of all men whom you will want to take to yourself, I was iskrenen.

I really thought, that, time I can not marry you because I do not wish to get divorced from wife I simply have no right to be jealous.

Well, really, - itself ezhenochno sleeps in one bed with the wife and more wants, that the mistress to him was correct! The egoist prokljatyj!

And I, as almost decent or considerable, have solved, as really I shall not roll up to you stages.



And then you have told to me about it or him.

We longly enough discussed its or his merits and demerits, joked of yours with it or him of the future and chose names for your children.

It seemed to me, that you are dared or laugh too often and loudly, and I began to look at you more closely or attentively.



And when you, having kissed me, cunningly, I have wanted to die.

I have understood, that you have fallen in love with it or him really.

========

[Janel]

You speak, that is better I was not present anybody on light. I try to convince myself, that I believe you only half.

Then by us there passes or there takes place next your friend, and you with pleasure embrace it or him, kiss and speak him: " Greetings! Where you were gone? ". And I try to convince myself, that I do not believe that you are sincere to him is glad.

You speak by me to phone such tender words such gentle voice, that I am almost ready to get divorced from wife. Then you come to me on job and call therefrom to familiar men, speaking them almost the same the same gentle voice. And I think: whether " Instead of the fool I? ".

Around of you always so it is a lot of men, that I suspect, that you to me change. And with pleasure I hear indignation in your answer to my offensive question. Also I forget, what good you an actress

==============



I became so strong, that I can allow to cause people to me any pain.

I almost easy transfer or carry everything, everything, even your changes to me practically on my eyes.



Funny All other people think, that I am simply weak. All other world has got used to consider or count as force absolutely another.

Well and let. What to me business up to all world?



In fact I have you.

==========

[imported_]

Letters which you have exchanged c C., have reminded me, that I always liked to write letters to liked people. Simply my liked people never liked with me to correspond.

I some times offered the wife: " Give I shall write to you the letter, and you at job will read through it or him and will write to me the answer! ", on what she responded, that it is more to her at job there is nothing, except for how to write the letter to the husband.

I even stuck to the parents supposedly let's correspond, well give! But also the people who have generated me did not wish it or this to do or make

Similar, I, at last, had a liked person with whom I can practice in an epistolary genre.

So.



I very much would like in third time (the third!) to ask to you the same question. Do not find or consider me the bore (though, certainly, I the bore, am simple while you did not have an opportunity in it or this to be convinced), simply it seemed to me, that I can count on frankness from your party or side. I do not say lies to you

No, you too do not say lies to me! You only do not speak me the truth.

Well, really, I two times have asked you: " And whether there is no at you an idea to beat off me at the wife? ", and two times has not heard "yes", "is not present". Two times you left from the direct answer by means of words that my wife such good, well, such good

And in fact you had an opportunity to be convinced that I do not understand poluotvetov and polunamyokov. That I - enough the blunt young man.



Fie, features, I not so young

Excuse, all time I forget, that to me not 22, as to you. If not your reminders to me about my age, I as the fool, and thought, that I only recently have returned from service on fleet and that has not passed or has not taken place more than 15 years since then

Thanks you that in time you return me from heavens on the ground, and, you do or make it very accurately and so that to not offend me.

I often with tears of gratitude on eyes recollect yours ostensibly casual phrases: " So, now I shall tell fortunes on you You at us what king? So Married growing old the man " or " Eh! If you were my coeval, I to you now as cut! ".

So it is pleasant to know, that is though someone on this ground who wants that I felt not as the boy and as solid the man!



Oh, something I nesolidno have distracted from an essential of this letter What there she? And!

And so.

Let it pass, with this direct answer to my direct question on your secret intentions.

Secret intentions therefore and are called, that the opponent should not know about them. You agree what we with you opponents in complex or difficult and very interesting game, in which award is won (in fact you too it is necessary to beat off at all your present, and, the main thing, the future men)? Though, can, I and am wrong.

Can, no secret intentions at you are present.

Can, you conduct this game at all that you managed the growing old married muzhik who does not have either money, or position, tremendous man's advantage, and conduct it or her simply so. For no reason at all.

In fact an actress - always an actress.



By the way, I have not thought at all that this game can be necessary to you just now, only is temporary, the worthy variant is not found yet!

In this situation game for me becomes more serious.

The purpose of game becomes not clear.



If I wish to not admit or allow during your life of other men, I should divorce (in fact all these conversations about the consent to be the second wife - a lie).

To get divorced I do not want, because I like the wife as strongly, as you. Simply in another way.

To possess two women and to count on that both to you will be correct - dishonestly.

Each of them has a heart, of everyone can be sick because, that heart and bed of its or her man are borrowed or occupied not with her one.

If my women will have other men, to me will be sick. To me it will be exact painfully because I am not able to share love to me. I can share everything, even the life, but only not love of the woman to me.

Perhaps, I the egoist, maybe, I am unfair, but in this case I can do or make nothing with myself.



So, I again have successfully got confused in the ideas and feelings. That-that, and it I am able.

But, fortunately, I am able, and the main thing, I like to reflect. And here, that I narazmyshljal:

I for a long time any more do not play with you in any games.

I for a long time already like you, as the wife.

Unimportantly, the second or the first, younger or liked. This all - only words. At such level of sincerity of a word mean nothing.

I like you so strongly, that to me simply to spit on words.

And so it is strong, that it is ready to suffer any pain which you will cause me.



But I, everything, should try to make not patient a pain from your changes.

Change in this case I name any your contact to another the man, - from sexual with your husband up to a playful view to address of absolutely extraneous pretzel.

So, how to make a pain of not patient?



Very simply: to transfer or carry it or her on a paper.

I shall simply fill with the pain all the products. And soon I shall become well-known.

Because the only thing about what people would like to read, is an another's pain.

Not their another's happiness interests, not another's successes, oof and glory, and an another's pain.

I am well, ready to give people for what they wait. Now it is ready.

Because now I know, what is it such



I always spoke myself and another, that about love to write I write, but not so it is good, as I would like. And because I am not able to like all.

All spoke me, that I drive, that at me good songs, that they like them, at least, texts.

But I knew, that it is possible to write even better!



It appears, I was wrong It appears, it is impossible to create better or worse.

It is possible to create or with all my heart or not. And what such "with all my heart"? Now I know the answer to this question.

It means, that heart should be filled by ALL.

Not only happiness and love, but also a pain.



Thanks that has helped or assisted me to understand it! You do not represent, as I am now happy!

I in fact write all it " on the air ", that is, simply I write down everything, that occurs.

I even almost erase nothing and I do not correct!



Has just re-read all it you Know, all was pleasant to me!

And style, and that I anywhere have not told lies (except for the first slice which a little bit fiction).

Well, well, I go on kitchen or cuisine where there is a printer, I shall unpack or I shall print out.

My God, as to me your reaction to mine is interesting to you the first gift!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



See you with you of 35 minutes...

============

[alexei_k]

You Know, I suddenly was frightened of that so is sincere with you have talked

No, do not hurry up to let out or release needles! I was frightened not in the sense that I regret about told or said!

More correctly, I regret, but not in that sense which, most likely, will come to you in a head. Not because I wish to refuse the words, that refusing from you.



I have simply thought, that if I always shall be with you so is frank, to you becomes sometime uninteresting with me. In fact you spoke, that it is easy or light to count or reckon courses of the man is uninteresting.

However, you spoke it about concrete the man.



You told to me about it or him and about your attitudes or relations much.

But you told nothing to me about yourself in relation to it or him;them.

I know nothing that you test to it or him;them.

Also you know, I yet do not want anything about it or this the nobility. Because I am afraid. My God, if you knew, how I am afraid

I support or maintain the forces only the promise to you, that I shall cope with any pain which you will cause me.

You, certainly, understand, that it is a question not of cowardice, and about any other feeling which I now cannot put words.



Pancake I do not remember, you sometime spoke, what like me?

Estimate, how I have got, if you like, but not me? Or you like someone more, than me? i-yes So it would not be desirable to struggle for impracticable dream, for not sold purpose

Good.

If that, I shall think, that THERE at you all neseryozno, that you simply play the next role which once again should irritate soul of your unique spectator

Interestingly everything, how much strongly you have got used to the roles? My God, I at all do not know, how much them at you!



Bezbashennaja a -lighter; mother madly liking the daughter; the wife, for some reason assured or confident that the husband has the right to cripple it or her; the daughter, muchimaja the parents; inaccessible flirtushka; the accessible touchy person; the naive little fool; the smart rascal; Obedient Humility; Proud Independence; Thought over up to Trifles; Miss Pofig of the Consequence

And in fact these roles you play all practically simultaneously.

To be stunned.



While printed, has understood, that the majority of these roles very much is pleasant to me.

You remember, I spoke, what I shall sometime write scripts in which all female characters will be written off or be copied from you?

I think, that and will be.



So play, native, play.

Heart prompts me, that all will be good.

==============

[inikonov]

You really live very quickly. And each your day is, at least, week for other person.

But, dear or expensive, I - even more mad, than you. My time flows even more quickly, than yours.

Probably, it also has frightened off you.



Even you could not believe, that the man for two days can pass or take place a way from full aversion of children up to the strongest desire them to have.

And then for one night to force itself to stop loving almost that for the sake of which he was ready to throw the woman from whom has lived thirteen years



That

Beginning or Starting the next game with next the man, now you will remember, that some players can be to you not on a teeth.

That the pavor before result of a prize can force you up to term to leave game.



And me remains to amuse itself an idea, that such bezbashennogo the opponent you will not find another.

And to drive from ourselves other idea, - that, maybe, we with you played not only by different rules, but also to different games.

And not with each other.



Yes.

For some reason it seems to me, that you played at all with me That you to something proved someone to another.

Someone to that you never can already prove nothing.



Hm it is amusing enough to feel a dying pawn.

Like also behaved adequately, and like and has died not on business, in summary annoying miss of the commander

Once, when I worked in a casino, among the young and beautiful little girls, one of them has told or said, that not fooling around the man - very attractive extraction.

Then I have not given to these words of great value. And in vain.



It is visible, such blunt as I, all should be repeated twice.

I hope, now I shall remember these words.

Only, probably, already late. Also there is no need.

It seems, now I not especial, and as all. As all muzhiks.

I mean prigovorku " All muzhiks - goats ". I have sentenced myself to her



And hardly I will be justified with high and sincere feeling to that from which I have changed to the beloved.

You remember that formula which I "have opened"?

I really consider or count, that the love does not share, and is multiplied.

Acknowledgement or Confirmation to that - some children, each of which you like equally.

Moslems would understand me.

Christians, moreover and orthodox - hardly.



Well, yes the God with them with all.

The main judge and the main executioner - I.

Henceforth each mine the story, the story or the script is my verdict to itself.

And all other people will be only witnesses on my indicative processes.



Thanks you that you have presented me a slice of the life.

I shall eat this slice all remained life.

===========

[Olga21]

Tasha, liked mine Tasha!



Why you so do not like, when I regret you?! Why you take offence?!

Really you do not understand, what, taking offence on me for my sincere pity to you, you offend that me?



Ability to feel a pain of other person as the, also is called as love.



As love, certainly, and many other things is called, but compassion - first of all.

Pay attention - COMPASSION. JOINT suffering.

To you it is sick - and to me it is sick.

To you to not sigh - and I choke.

At you the voice shivers - and to me words to not utter



I was very much-very offended with your malicious words ("malicious" concerns, more likely, to tone, than to phrases) that I lived in chocolate that the childhood at me was -perfect that mum - the teacher, the daddy - the officer and at all all so has carried in a life, etc.

Forgive or Excuse, I do not remember precisely, but, apparently, you spoke approximately it.



You began to shout at me after have told to me something from the childhood, and I have told or said " the Unfortunate girl "



Look, that has turned out: I have shown COMPASSION, I have expressed the pain because, that have presented, as at times unsweetly it was necessary to you!

And you have solved, that I well, I scoff, whether that or I pin up

I do not know, more shortly, that you there have solved, but this all - not from ours with you of the present, and from your past.

Any reaction of the person to this or that event is based or founded;established on analogies to the last situations in its or his life.

If in your childhood it was not accepted to feel pity for another and to accept compassion to, means, it is not accepted and in your adult life.



But identical, apparently, things can be perceived variously.

For example, tears.

Someone in general never cries, including, that tears is ALWAYS delicacy.



And I, for example, am ashamed some the tears only when offend me.

But me reaction of my enemies to my tears if they are caused or called by sensation of a pain or insult which is tested by the person close to me is absolutely indifferent.

I in the childhood always roared, when fighted for friends.

And never, when fighted for itself.

Foolish organism, all in mum She always cried at assemblies, protecting unfairly offended colleagues, and never when offended it or her.



More shortly.

It seems to me, that you do not want, that you regretted because you consider or count, that pity dostoin only the weak person, and you, certainly, the strong woman to whom someone's pity is not necessary.

But, first, not someone's, and mine.

And, secondly, not pity, and COMPASSION.



I, really, cannot easy look at someone's trouble.

And especially on troubles of my liked people. And it is unimportant, seryoznye it is troubles or is temporary or temporarily-trifling.



Therefore, I ask you, each time when I speak, that I regret you, remember that I simply try to incur any part of your insult, your tears, your sufferings.



That to you became though slightly though for a short while, but it is easier.

==========

[Vusal]

And now - HISTORY the SECOND, in the form of a diary...



16.05.



Hi.

I do not address to you by name just in case, whether it is not enough, to itself in arms or hand it can get, and that "someone" the man can make this with you, as present or true.

-th " the Letter to the anonymous girl " - the good name for grafomanskogo the story. And can, I some time shall conduct it or him as the diary, - suddenly is useful sometime to me In-general or -common;-in general, let will be while a diary. I already and in the beginning have put date just. And time a diary - then the detailed report about . No. It would not be desirable me to do or make detailed reports on what. That will be recollected - that and I shall write. I shall be, as chukcha.



Here now I recollect, how the day before yesterday in the evening I by phone have suggested to leave, and you have told or said, that reject my offer. And then you have asked, why I have decided to leave, and I have responded, that any more I do not like you. And, for a long time, some months.

You have started to shout in occasion of what I, the swine so longly said lies and spoke what I like you? I then to something am a pity to you murmured (at all I do not remember, what), and here now I think - and and the truth, why? Similar, today I shall understand it or this Though, similar, not today - already send or have come working women, have included or have switched on music and have started to stir or chatter loudly. And after change and arrival home I especially shall not concentrate. Today Sunday, and houses will be the wife.



19.05.



The day before yesterday in the evening, 17-th, we sat on a bench near to you, and you have told or said, that in couple of years will give birth to the husband of the child from somebody to another. Has offered me, I have refused, you with laughter have said: " Yes good, you only become the father, and the husband will make the rest ". Has then told or said, as will fit, if that.



Yesterday (18-th) evening-night (I was on the first day) we have chatted pair hours by phone. You told, that all the day long have waited for the husband who and has not come since night (though called from job, that will come), and have then remained for the night already at home.

You are long (very longly) spoke that has understood, at last, that do not like the husband and that very much like me.



Today in the afternoon I called to you when there was a first spring thunder. You were such happy from a downpour

After that neither in the evening, nor at night you have not called to me on job.



20.05.



You have not called and today in the morning, and I have understood, that the husband spent the night at home.

By this moment I have already made the OPENING.

Having arrived home, wished to call to you and to tell or say about itself, but phone has been already disconnected or has been switched already-off (bills for the Internet have paid, but has forgotten to call on Sinopskuju. Tomorrow I shall go there with slips).

And to you has not gone at random not because the husband could be at home, and because of the made opening.

To saved time has gone on old job behind the information or inquiry on incomes.



Already about nine evenings, and me already laziness to print. I shall print about all tomorrow as all will be peer all the day, because of absence in the house of phone free from all.





22.05.



Has deceived. Anything yesterday did not print - rolled in front of the TV both guzzled all the day. Also thought, that you are angry that I do not call, and think, that I was not present the house. And simply the wife should send slips on payment of phone by fax from job, but has made it too late, and phone will connect only on Monday of 24-th.

Today all the day waited - suddenly you will call on job But especially did not hope, Saturday. A pancake, and itself I can not call, if I do not know precisely, that your husband is not present the house Yes good.

And so. About my promised opening. It very simple and very short, also sounds so:

YOU LIKE THE HUSBAND.



Aha. That you spoke, it so. Generally, it not opening, and inspiration any simply suddenly has understood - and all has risen on the places. At me in a head, naturally. Well, and in heart too.

SHCHas I shall tell, what exactly has risen on places.



I in fact especially never thought of your attitudes or relations, once (still when we were friends, i.e. somewhere in September-October of the last year) having heard from you, that you any more do not like the husband and never to it or him;them will return. And that to me was about it or this to think and doubt of your words if I saw, what happy you were with in the summer, up to my monthly sick-list with the broken leg or foot. To me and to a head could not come, that you still had feelings to the husband.

And with I perceived your attitudes or relations, as desire to forget somewhat quicker And.

I also do not speak Pro S.G. It was (in my comprehension) simply sponsor.

Here



But, observing of your autumn throwings, I have not noticed, how beginnings with you to fall in love. And love went not only from sympathy, but also from desire though somehow to help or assist and (you excuse ) with pity to the unfortunate little girl whom all have refused. Well, not everything, but was not necessary to you, for example, S.G.

And then, after the ill-starred letter and dismissal, you have addressed for the help and support to the husband.

I have again thought, what is it only a tribute of your long joint life because more nobody could calm you.



And then there was our first night.

And at me has taken down or has demolished a roof.

And I have suddenly believed, that the young beautiful little girl can grow fond of me and only me, and all other men by itself will disappear from its or her life (you know, I always confused sex to love).

Yes good, I am guilty I so much time read and saw at cinema how girls are engaged in sex and even become pregnant to spite of former beloveds, and in a situation with myself it or this have not understood

Well, what to do or make, if in questions of love games I in the years absolutely a fig do not understand



So! I not about myself here am going to to broadcast! I about you and about the opening about you. SHCHas that I shall recollect, I shall print (that confirms my opening):



- Arrival on you one of "colleagues" and arrival of the given up husband on job to protect the Pancake, well here not clear was?



- Our second night You cry and in drunk I go mutter, that to the husband will not return, because he will not forgive or excuse you, and you will not forgive or excuse it or him. Why I then was not cut??!! It is visible, that I am capable to cause or call love in the young goddess very or very much would be desirable to believe...



- You show me the wedding photos and, looking at mum, do not cry nearly above that where you with the husband Where were my reason?!



- Not such old pjanka at your girlfriend when you had an attack during which you called the husband It - without comments.



- Your homing to the husband (is more correct, it or him to you), proved by education of the daughter Strange education, if after that he leaves on any base for holidays instead of spending them with a daughter In fact not only in a daughter business, same is clear.



- Last two months which you have completely devoted to the daughter the Same obvious desire to show the husband what you good mother so, you deserve a pardon!



- Your readiness and further to live with the husband though two years, through which you will give birth to him to one more child, though all life (see evening of 17-th) Here all is clear.



- After 17-th, in the evening of 18-th, you call to me on job and directly exude with love to me (something peach you drank). And in parallel with it or this longly you speak what has stopped loving the husband But then there were all these words? After the husband has promised to come home and has not come, and itself (by your words) was with whores Same not the love to me has forced you to call, and insult on the husband whom you all still like!

.

Pancake.

What happiness, that I though this time have understood all!

And that it would be excruciated, thinking, that madly like me, and I have already fused in the autumn and I can not reciprocate the same force

And only then with insult would understand, that was replacement with all left you (naturally, temporarily) ljubovjam



But, that speak, and to be friends at us precisely it will turn out. Already and my wife almost normally reacts that we communicate with you by phone and we are going to sometimes simply to go in kinoshki and even theatres. As we once also wanted



In general, chaotic the story about opening has turned out. You excuse. If that will be not so clear, will ask in next our friendly sozvonku.

So long!

[Leon]

23.05. (morning)



Greetings. There is still a pair hours before arrival of the personnel and I still popechataju.

Has with a fresh mind thought, that your life - practically a tracing-paper since a life of your mum. At least, from that its or her part which you saw in the early childhood - the liked daddy beats liked mum.



It is known, that the child subconsciously aspires to be such, as its or his parents. Subconsciously.

It seems to me, therefore you and have chosen such the man for yourself when to you was how much, 14? Such strong and severe. For you there was norm or rate that beat you and thus forced to feel the fault that beat you.



By the way, about a complex of fault. You, like, since the childhood heard what is better than you as there a head about a stone? That is, already from early age you felt, that is not necessary. You understand? You since the childhood wished to be liked and necessary Though somebody



And when the daddy has left from mum, you have apprehended it as that you are again guilty. What is it because of you.

It not I such clever, simply I read about similar cases. Unfortunate my Plumelet of the Dark blue Bird



You remember, you spoke, that we with you are similar what always we accuse others, instead of? Correctly. In it or this we are very similar.

But both of us thus somewhere inside of us (very deeply) we know, that we are guilty in all!

Simply we for what do not admit it or this to other people. i-yes the Penguin - a bird proud.



As the friend, I shall try to help or assist certainly to you any advice or councils (give the God, not silly) and to support or maintain you, but, probably, it is necessary for you to like very strongly to fly. To like and the nobility, that you too very strongly like. And, only you one.

And if my opening is correct, to the one whom you like, your flights are not necessary

It is a pity. It is very a pity.

Do not take offence, I not you regret it, and in general. For people I am upset. Gy



Here SHCHas has thought, that, probably, your throwings on men - that you feel that is necessary to you new, and the main thing, strong love, such which could tear off you from the husband.

Give you the God, the girlfriend, to find the worthy person. Only, when you will find, do not tell to him intimal details about other applicants. gy- Excuse, if has offended, very much it would be desirable to joke:-)



Well here, like and all for morning of Sunday I Shall go to smoke and work, work, work.

So long!



25.05. (7 o'clock in the morning)



Well, here. You already and itself have solved zaimet a computer. The good fellow. Now not only the husband on itself will play, but also you with a daughter learn to print quickly and learn or teach English by means of tutors. And sometime the daughter will write in good English tongue the composition on a subject: " As the daddy has beaten mum, having broken her a nose and having beaten out a tooth ".

Here he - positive educational effect from joint residing parents liking each other. I am almost assured or confident, that when time will come, your daughter too will choose to itself in partners in life good the man.

It is a pity, that I not such, as your husband. In sense, not the present or true muzhik, and the woman. Has just now understood, how my wife suffers, living with me



It is very glad, that in time has learned or has found out about your possible or probable workarrangement on old job. Now I shall not make a mistake or an error and I shall not renew with you the attitude or relation of the certain sort. Now it will be much easier to me to do or make it, it is enough to recollect only how easily and easy at this job it is possible to enter sexual attitudes or relations with protection, clients and colleagues (that there to hide - for this purpose to drink a jar-other or -another;-others enough).

I shall think of it or this, to be jealous, and this jealousy will help or assist me vystojat and to not become one of several, and to remain the only thing. The only thing for the wife, from whom at me already all goes to again to begin a joint sexual life.



See you with you approximately 6 hours. Interestingly, about what we shall speak Yes figs with it or him. It at you remains the finished variant of this diary, and I, probably, still shall longly conduct it or him.

It was pleasant to me.

So long!



27.05.



Greetings!

Somehow awkwardly for the previous record, but we have agreed, that I write that I feel, and I always so feel myself, when you are beaten by your liked husband



So. A dessert has not left yet (since my salary only tomorrow, and today at me the second day), but we had a purchase of gifts for your daughter and more someone there.

Did not expect, that such ordinary event will turn to the present or true holiday! And in fact anything external was not - neither campaigns somewhere, nor sitting somewhere (bryovnyshko on waste ground it is not counted)

But the happiness particularly overflew me. Though is not present Then to me it was simply good. And I have felt happiness, already when there were houses. Even now it or him igolochki at me in arms or hand. Or it I an arm or a hand at night otlezhal?.. Yes. Otlezhal.:-)



In general, you are right. I am constant - today one, and in day - another. I only recently began to notice it.



One of two - or I such was always, or it because of you. My wife never anything such spoke, means, it because of you.

At-at, you -th!...



And in general When I near to you or by phone - I believe that you like me. When you series are not present - I recollect, how you are gentle at me communicated by phone with With-captain after our night in hotel And with S.G. Directly when we well, when it that.

And at once I start to think, that all your words - simply game with not clear purpose for me. And for you too, it seems. Then in hotel I have asked you, what for you call to him. You have responded: " Itself I do not know ".

You see, how it Here therefore and " that I like, give we shall be friends ".:-)



If seryozno actually all is simple - if we shall not be engaged in sex, I shall not be jealous you of other your men.



Simply for the present I would like these or it;this to be engaged with you. But, I hope, if I shall not drink, communicating with you I shall be kept from acts and- a forest park:-)

Besides - love.

Same, everything, it is wrong - to like two women at once. And if we will not have a sex I, at least, can is fair tell or say to itself: " Well, unless it is love? Not. It is friendship. A true friendship! ".

Here, that you also turn out, meeting me, gradually wean from me, and I on the contrary, cannot stop loving you in any way and start to be friends:-)



If absolutely it is fair, I, everything, and do not believe, that you really test to me love (And consequently all time I think: " Well, what to her, everything, from me is necessary? In fact in me and at me anything is not present! Really it is simply interesting to hold me on privjazi?! ").

Well, good - to live with the husband because of the child. But if the husband in literal sense spoils you the tender fists

From such husbands leave because of the child that is why, that like.



You understand, I already concern to you, as to zamuzhnej to the woman, instead of as to free. Not how in the autumn. Still and consequently I wish to become simply good friend, at last. And our occurrings to it or this stir or prevent.

When some days are not visible and is not called up, like I start to depart, and we shall meet - and again I "float". To begin, whether that, to think out different excuses or helps, to not meet you? Interestingly, itself I believe, what I can?... While I believe.:-)



Well good. An evening of my second day, can, you will call still. Besides - all the day hoped, that you will tinkle. As the fool.

Though is better you would not call, I then for tomorrow have thought up an excuse or a help:-)



All, so long!

[Krylov Elena]

28.05. (morning of Friday)



You are bad-and-th!! Since evening of 26-th did not call! The husband at home the whole day cannot sit

Thanks God, that to me on this all it is peer, and that would experience:-)))

So long!



29.05. (morning of Saturday)



And I too bad! I have not called to you yesterday! But I have a valid reason - I did not know the schedule of job of your husband (owing to that you yesterday have not called)! And suddenly I would call, and he would remove or take off a tube!! I then you know, how was frightened!!!!

And in general. At once on prosnutii I was occurred with an idea: to write dialogue about itself about you. Type, Good-th I talk with Bad-thed about you. About my attitude or relation me to you and you to me.

About us with you, more shortly. Something of type of it or this:



- Greetings!

- It is healthy, if you do not joke! And chyo such gloomy? Not in itself all any?

- And you do not know that

- CHyo, because of this, whether shto?

- Please, do not speak about it or her "this"!

- Oh-th, what we gentle! And how to me it or her to name? Not by name!

- No, whether by name it is impossible a little, what Suddenly our conversation to its or her husband will get, know, what he then with her will make?

- That, that As always, will polish to her a snout! The ?-string will break, the -string will beat out! And you that?

- Well, as! I do not want, that because of me it or her have beaten!

- Yes good! There and without you the reasons for house violence suffice! At them there well, very high attitudes or relations!

- yes Attitudes or Relations there, really, very strange

- Just there anything strange is not present. Milony women live with same mudakami up to the mors. Personally to me much strange represent yours with her of the attitude or relation.

- Also do not speak. I already and understand nothing. Has absolutely got confused

- So because she you confuses it. She in this respect the skilled worker!

- By what such part?

- Well, muzhiks for a nose to drive! To inspire them an idea, that she likes them! And to have from them for it chyo-!

- You on what hint?

- Yes I do not hint, I directly speak - she untwists muzhiks on everything, on what they can be untwisted! Whom on babki, whom on pjanku and pinball machines, whom on belongings, whom on a roundabout for a daughter

- And how still or even to exist to the lonely woman with the child? And then, what to me business whom she there on what plants?

- And, well certainly! You, type, at all does not touch, that you cannot provide to her worthy existence!

- Well, her the husband can provide existence! And I simply wish to help or assist to develop to her the soul

- Aha! That she grew above herself, ploughing space open spaces! You chyo, do not notice, what she and has dissolved you?

- On what?!

- Yes on love, fur-trees-sticks!

- How it?

- Yes here so! You to her have told a saying " the husband for form's sake, the hussar for feelings and the groom for bed "! Here she also has made the hussar of you! All rest at it or her already for a long time is! Only its or her feelings - easy or light;mild flirtation, and you, the idiot, nearly has not lost a head!

- First, it is all a lie because she me, really likes, and secondly, I, everything, have not lost a head!

- Yes she you does not like a horse-radish! She speaks the same tender words to each passer, you the witness were how much time!

- Well, I only saw, how she by phone is another spoke. And then, she explained all to me!

- What explained?

- That with them she is simply tender, and likes me!

- Oh, I can not You as the child, really! You chyo, do not understand, what she likes all all muzhiks?

Is I fine I understand. You do not understand it, that she likes me most !

- And you such arranges?

- That's just the point, that any more does not arrange. Arranged Earlier, and now is not present. Now I understand, that attitudes or relations of type "harem" - not for me. It was always necessary for me, that only one woman was for me all - both the wife, and the mistress, and the girlfriend.

And for it or her I only wished to be simple the lover earlier

- Do not say lies. You dreamed to become for it or her to all!

- Yes, dreamed. But dreams - therefore also dreams, that they should not come true.

- Aha, and now, when you have understood, that never can become for it or her to everything, you have decided it or her to throw!

- Well, to not throw, and to become simple other.

- Simply other to which she will tell again about with whom and how she is engaged in sex? You already passed or took place it! In what it has resulted or brought?

- No, second time I on this raker shall not come or step! I shall not fall in love with it or her again!

- Listen, well to that you here rub? You like to listen about with whom and as she communicates! You like to be excruciated from own powerlessness! You represent yourself the such martyr on an altar of jealousy! The masochist unfortunate!

- You are wrong! I simply regret it or her because she is deeply unfortunate person!

- Really? And in what it she is unfortunate?

- Yes in love, in what still? And if your husband fucked your girlfriends in the next room, and then would share with you sensations? And if your husband gave mistresses your own jewelry? And if your husband slept with your mum?

- I chyo do not see, where here misfortune She in fact with it or him till now lives, though he at all thus on a regular basis beats it or her?

- Yes, but only because of a daughter! She wants, that the child had a normal family!

- and Well, yes Certainly Then she, certainly, the most unfortunate person on light

- In my opinion, you are dared or laugh!

- In my opinion, too! And how to me to not laugh at such idiot, how you?

- Why it I the idiot?

- Yes because she - an example of the happy woman! Its or her happiness is simple looks or appears here in such not clear image for you! For you happiness - silent quay, and for it or her - a constant storm.

- A lie. She too wants calmness. By the way, and she wants the child not from the husband, and from me, here!

- Aha, or from one "former" lover! Or not only from you a two

- Listen, cease so to speak about her! You do not know anything about her! More correctly, only that I to you about her tell!

- Ugu And you that about her know? What she to you about herself tells? Well, believe, believe . ".



31.05. (morning)



At me the second day has gone or sends. Just you have called after a 4-day's drinking-bout. Spoke whisper that has decided to fasten and that today you go on interview on old job in the afternoon and you do not know what to tell or say to the husband who is afraid, that again " will begin bljadstvo ". At last I have told or said, that I like you " not as the friend ", but for some reason heart especially was not hammered from your call. It was simple it is very pleasant, that you are alive-is healthy, moreover and me have not forgotten.



You know, I have just thought, that I not at the occurring first ours shall show this diary to you, and later. Can, much later.

And it means, that I can here is absolutely frank speak - peerly you it will read through all, when already we or absolutely shall cease to communicate, or all will be already peer to us.



Then I shall tell or say so - not only your husband considers or counts, that " will begin bljadstvo " at old job. soglasis, that sooner or later and will be, I already about it or this wrote somewhere above.



You, certainly, have beautifully told or said about that you like me, so, will not admit or allow it or this, but you cannot is eternal with anybody to not fuck, if I with you do not do or make it or this Yes good, the God with it or this with all.

Well I Shall wait for your day time call about results of interview and to learn or teach new English words.



So long!

[Alex]

04.06. (morning)



As have imperceptibly flown by 4 day

Today at me the second day, and last night you have told or said, that have understood, at last, that I do not like you. As, everything, quickly we live You has understood it after my words that I already almost do not regret you when you tell about the next beating you the husband.

And I, really, have told or said that has thought. Only here I have still thought and more have more understood the feelings.

You understand, I lose respect for you.



That was in the autumn is a passion, love. Right at the beginning, on the peak or pique usually you do not notice much because " the love is blind ". And then heat falls down, and already see details.

Respect for the one whom you like - very important detail, at least, for me.

And more pride. Pride of the liked person, of its or his any good and worthy acts.

Excuse, but to me practically no trouble to respect with you and no trouble to be proud of you

It does not mean at all, that I sharply began to concern badly to you, no! Simply " the veil has fallen from eyes " and I see you more or less such what you are actually, instead of in my "autumn" imagination.

" Above fiction by tears I shall grow lazy " - Pushkin wrote. I not Pushkin, I have told or said prose



Here has thought - whether it is necessary to explain, why began to respect and be proud less? I shall write for myself, and that suddenly then I shall forget.

For the life of me, and I shall consider or count, that it is impossible to suffer or bear poboi what reasons were.

Also it is impossible to sit at home and to not try to do or make something, to become independent of the one who byot.

And you can spit this my opinion on it or him and even matjugnutsja right now as yesterday you have for the first time named me the friend. Friends can speak each other frank mucks:-)

In-from have given him -odes Fine, that your daughter have taken in "And" a class it is good, that your mum already goes and smokes Today promise 18-20 heats ?-yes



Interestingly, and whether it will turn out to remain with us friends actually? In that sense, whether we shall quarrel for ever?:-)



So long!



20.06. (morning)



Greetings! At me the second day was flown by with 16 days, it is necessary

What has changed? That you again work at old unpromising job, that at us with you again love-carrots (in words, essno), that you go in a beautiful suit with a skirt and in shoes (all is paid by "Goodwin").



What has not changed? That to you today for day, and at you again beaten muzzle the Husband again you has spoiled that you such beautiful

I here think: when you because of constants poboev will start to become ugly (as on the passport), how long I shall speak you, what all still I like you? I think, not for long. It I am fair, I am not going to yet to allow you to read it

Here. While all.

About!!!!! I have decided to be coded!!! And that again purchase of new things has turned to drunk quarrel Has bothered.



21.06. (morning)



Meal on an occurring with you after your first day with ecchymoses and dark glasses or spots on the face it is interesting, THAT for me waits )))))



25.06. (morning)



Soon home. i-yes did not write 4 days Impressions of an occurring was so much, that has decided to wait, while they uljagutsja and will keep within some lines

And you speak, what live with the husband only because of that the daughter has grown the normal person?!

Yes if she will see on a regular basis at mum SUCH ecchymoses and bloody fibers to her in already in a youth threatens psihushka

Anything I can not write any more. I can not.

While.



28.06. (morning of the second day).



Greetings!

The day before yesterday was at you at job. Not, like anything you look or appear)) Only here has started to drink on a workplace. It has ended, as always in such cases, loss and quarrel which you have competently transformed into sex)) Well, for it I shall not blame you - all was feerichno)).

Then longly stirred or chattered about what. How you have floated from a voice in a tube which then was at you on a visit and with which you today somewhere will go by its or his smart machine or car that then you will go to other voice which has called you in " last visitors " on an old place of job and that you are afraid, as though you again not "tsepanulo"

i-yes Sometimes I even think, really you such silly, what tell to me about all such things and at all do not understand, how much or as far as to me painfully to hear it? Because, if you understand also all peerly you tell, you - sadistka.

Not, is better I shall think, that you silly))).



This all was the day before yesterday. And yesterday you slept off and, probably therefore, have not called to me never for a day. And can, revenged that in last my change at us phone did not work and you could not phone. Or that I have "raspingly told or said: " Then we shall phone " when you already have home tinkled and has got on the wife.

Yes good, already unimportantly.



Tomorrow I shall arrive to you on job, there and we shall chat about what.

While.



29.06. (morning)



Greetings.

Here I shall already soon be replaced, I shall go for zp, then home -have a shave, then to you. A pancake

To badly me.

Again in your life there were sponsors and " old communications or connections ". And in fact knew, that so will be, and all is peerly bad And I know, that, times I can not offer anything in exchange I have no the right to be jealous, and all is peerly bad That, a pancake, for a life!))

Calms or Abirritates one - as soon as you will tell or say, that with someone have overslept, I shall disappear from your life. Type, I shall find an occasion)) And that is simple so well, I can not come off you in any way

So long!



30.06.



Greetings!

You have not given me Horror what))))))

You worked, I have arrived, anybody from players was not, and you have not given me!!!!

Horror! Horror!)))))



04.07.



Well, here. I have cooled down and it is possible more in detail razmyslit HOW you have not given me.



I have arrived and first of all descended or went behind meal to you. Has then come and at once has told or said, that " there will be no to you a skirt, and me - tubes " because has on the eve lost for half-salaries in a casino. You have begun were to show discontent with this circumstance, but have restrained.

And here you have seen, that sweets which I to you have bought or purchased among meal - not what you like.



And here you has broken through.

Between us I do not remember uglier stage. Not without reason the day before yesterday, in 2-nd evening when you called to me on job, you did not begin to listen, as I tried to tell to you about your hysterics. You bystrenko have said goodbye.

You at all do not like to listen how itself conducted.

You know, about what it speaks? That the person is not going to to be corrected. I know



And so. Clearly, that after such hysterics and speech could not be about sex between us.

But then I descended or went and have bought or purchased to you of correct cakes and sweets And even have shown condoms which has bought or purchased specially because of unhygienic conditions

And you peerly have not given all.

You even have used the koronnuju a phrase: " Well, we not because of sex meet! "

I only now at last have understood, because of what we met.

To me one your phrase has helped or assisted to understand it only.



When you, as the madwoman, shouted at me because of sweets, you have cried out, having lifted eyes to a palate: " Yes that this or thus such! To one you speak - only not motorola, and he buys it or her! To another govorish-only not (I do not remember what exactly), and he buys it! ".



That's all. That's all clearly. And all became on the places.

I for you - one of those to whom you speak, that to you to buy or purchase. One of sponsors (fineest))).



Here look - I have started to conduct a diary on May, 16th. It was required to me only 1,5 months of reflections on a subject of love to understand, that to love at us and does not remain.

Everything, I well done have quickly coped! Ah, yes I!



And love to the husband here, probably, there is nothing. Business, appears, in absence at you love to me.

Hm has suddenly recollected (though hardly suddenly))))) your story as on old job to you has come and, despite of your words, that you do not wish to fuck, poimel you. And in zadnitsu.

To you was so painfully, that you cried, and he whispered, that you have forgiven or excused it or him

Zdorovsko the Good fellow! I so never could)))))



Could not because if the woman does not like, never will give voluntary. You have not given me And you gave EVEN THROUGH the PAIN because very much liked it or him, unlike me. And you like till now, there is nothing to say lies to yourself.

Who will finish in you 4 more times for 20 minutes? Only not I!)))))

It also has brought me))))) And the love to me has run low ))))



Yes Here it - the main OPENING! Strange, but me it is not sick. To me even it is good.

Because the love to you destroyed or blasted me. And now I shall be restored.

I now the main thing - as can to not see and not hear you more longly.

I shall use that you the day before yesterday have sharply stopped conversation, and I shall represent ofigennuju insult on you. And not I shall not only meet you, but also by phone to try to not talk.

Sooner or later you will tell or say to me, that already sleep with the husband (or with whom) and then I shall bring to you on job this "diary".

And all will end.

Also it will not be already necessary to me to think all time that I promised you to not throw - " Disturbance of love oathes nenakazuemo ". It in 1 century up to n.e. Roman Publy Sir has told or said. The rights was, the bastard!



Sincerely I wish you success in your life and I hope, that sometime to you becomes so melancholy, that you all will be solved on any changes to the best.

Though, can, I and am wrong. Can, all in your life is pleasant to you - differently, what for to live how live, correctly?



In-from So much frank for time has told, what even it is tired)))

If it is more than anything new here it will not be printed, means, all has turned out how I and wanted.

So long!

[jonsilver]

06.07.

Look-, it was printed.

Today you have called to me on job (nearly has not overslept on the) and spoke, that have become bored or have missed, and that the husband has left for business trip for a week. I even have relaxed and went on a hall cheerful.

While again has not recollected your hysterics in occasion of tasteless sweets.



Who has then recollected a saying " is not able to accept gifts, that is not able to give them ".

And in fact it is valid, you never for 8 months have presented me though to something. Though any trifle on memory. Well, though chupa-



12.07.



Today you work, and I the day off. Today I carry to you this text.



23.07.



i-yes For you this diary for a long time is finished, and I here have decided to continue. I thought, that it is more than anything interesting in our life will not occur or happen, and it has appeared is wrong.



So. Shortly, only to not forget.

I have arrived after job to you on job, and there - yours the neighbour. That which you name "First aid" for its or his 26-centimetric member and usual readiness to help or assist

And here you have begun with it or him at me to recollect, how to you it was good, when was Well, not in a straight line, certainly, spoke, but we with you understand, about what speech.

And about massage have recollected, during which you called to me and groaned and about other.



Gy)) When at it or him simka bilajnovskaja from phone did not get out, you have joked of how it is good when densely enters: " Also you speak " It it was divine! " ?-yes. And many other things still.

And all it at alive to me, so to say.



You, probably, absolutely for pridurka hold me.

There and then to the neighbour you speak: " would Wash the husband me has killed, if such has heard ".

And I, mean, not the husband, and consequently to me pofigu, yes?



- = - = - = - = - = - =-



On it or this the diary breaks, but from a life of protagonists the next months you know something



Here, actually, and the story about Yes is not present, is exact - about itself.

Want - make comments, want - there is no, a main thing, do not forget, that for any malicious comment I shall severely revenge.



Joke

[diplomat]

Hi Maksimoron!

Has read through your diary and ofigel - has cut very to the quick. At me, though also a case on easier - all the same as bud that itself from has seen. Have very much inserted ideas about a pawn, about that we confuse sex and love, about sensation of own delicacy - literally I do not remember.

To treat I am not going to, for I should be treated However, I shall tell or say: force and delicacy - all rather, and the person capable so cannot reflect to be weak.

Simply, (I do not know as at you) at me the love turns to any madness and if it or this is followed with break - the full paragraph. You simply sensitive person and to not eat it badly. I think sometimes, that is good to be the insensible imbecile not capable of deep experiences. It is good, when it is possible to erase all from memory, but it is not possible or probable. Memory till now executes me, and I as if or as die every day. nazhratsja - and to forget all. Does not help or assist.

It seems to me, your trouble - too good memory. Learn to be angry (me sometimes helps or assists).



Glance on the link: http: // norilskcity.ru/phpBB2/viewtopic.php? t=340

And prikosneshsja to a slice of heart-breaking history (or a hysteria of love simple Kubanoida to the bulletproof girl from the north

Having visited there, you will understand, that to that that is even worse. Perhaps, it is an attack grafomanii, or revelations pridurka, stayed in a week drinking-bout There I shouted about the help, but having much shouted, have suddenly understood, what is it at all cry, and only hum any among mute.

Yours faithfully, vovan kubanoid.

[Renat]

Has read through... It is pleasant to know, what not one I am excruciated

However, I already have almost recovered from this morbid attachment. That and you I wish



With comprehension, Maksimoron.

[Lana33]

" Ignorant lives categorical maloletkam "



And I to such concern???

[shishkanova]

Whence I know?

Looking, that you will tell or say, if you will want to tell or say.

[Natalinka]

Initial report Maksimoron

Whence I know?

Looking, that you will tell or say, if you will want to tell or say.



Well is not present, you to me all over again tell or say.

I in fact govrju directly, fairly, sometimes cynically and raspingly.

So you solve you wish to hear or not. (especially with such that predislovim about teenagers)

[svirina]

Tomorrow I can not respond... And to him I print without the consent... Well che, you will remove)))))))))))

Do not forget I the teenager... Well and eptiety which you them have awarded all attribute to me









If fairly I do not like to read another's letters, and therefore read as y on "diagonal" what to seize the main idea, and to understand that to what.

Also has seized.

Crisis transitive vozratsa (not teenage and transitive... From 35 up to 50 approximately in etom an interval)

The MAN in etot the period gets tired of daily occurrence.. And at all from etogo.ot objazonostej, from the wife, children (if is), to him hunting with golovj in a youth, to rough sensation, risk and odurmanivanjai heads. (approximately in studenticheskie years)

Usually just during such period get or start to itself mistresses (jassn a stub young and beautiful), and all at them turns out anew... Love, flowers, a champagne, romanticism..... Well ttrebuet soul, TREBUET.i eto it is normal.... All here zaviset from the man and how much far he zajdetzhena loses also the ocharovatelnost, and the love which for a long time has already turned to an admixture + for long ++ and pmenjat something laziness...

The girl has a good time... At it or her just in a head all that and as at the man, yes only at the man and experience on- and the life on dlenee also has beaten and has embellished it or him konkretno.emu gruppavuha any more on taste (eto figuratively, not about predpochtenihv sex, and preferences in love)

Whether at the girl understand brains have turned in dyrochku through which " Enters... Also leaves... " (the Winnie-the-Pooh, oslik IA) .ej to spit on it or him from a high belltower... She sometimes odarjaet its or his slice vnianija and caress, poluchaeti instead of "slave" .no and " the slave ' sometimes demands.... Is not present en so, hints delicately that something is not pleasant to him...



All ustala.mogu to write till the end of time, porsti but the situation is banal.



eslity has back fallen in love with the wife, eto an output or exit, at what the most optimum personally for you.



: Under what circumstances do not allow the wife to learn or find out... She knows that, but you should not about etom znat.pokrajnej to a measure deaj the .-best reality,

[Belief]

Here and well, that banality.

The thought up extreme has bothered by itself.





And the wife knows. Simply, probably, wisely waited

[Tansha]

In you there is a wisdom.. eto pleases.

The wife at you remarkable, appreciate it or her.

[Mikle]

If you read me not on a diagonal, you would notice my wisdom much earlier...

[Tanka]

Forgive or Excuse... I can not force myself so impudently vleat in another's zhizn.eto your personal.

I posavila the diagnosis... And wisdom briefly, instead of in five pages

[_]

At the writer is not present personal.

One diagnoses from readers

[Help or Assist]

All... As you want... I have drawn the conclusions... The analizi, more likely for itself personally than for whom lio still.

And in general.... Wisdom in vystavljanii paisem the ljubovnitse.ja has not especially seen.............

[Vittoria]

Here in it or this all of you are similar.

Just - there is a wisdom, and at once - especially it or she is not seen...