Alexander
20.08.2004, 11:35
Hello the dear doctor, I is similar to the loony at me now there is well adjusted life, the girl voobshchem any another in would wash age would be glad to that as I live, but I have one problem firstly I thought that small, and now even I do not know. The matter is that at me probably old-fashioned, fantastic representations about love. I met girls and I had absolutely Platonic attitudes or relations with girls (I did not trust any of them up to the extremity or end and always stopped because understood that they do not like me on the present what is it either wrong love, or their addicting), I essentially was not intimally close with them because considered or counted that in a life there should be only one girl, but such that all rest merklo before her. So was while I have not met it or her 4 months we communicated soul in soul to both of us was so well I was pleased as dite went to bed knowing that to dream me she. With neterpenem we waited for evening or days off that again and again to walk up to polunochi. We had in attitudes or relations all as in a fairy tale there was also its or her treatment for a terrible attack of an asthma, there was its or her salvage from failure or accident. Such nezabyvaetsja. So was yet there was that that has poisoned with a poison or venom of the slowed down action all my feelings. Later 4 months we had a night, by that moment I precisely knew what is it that girl with which I now it is the greatest love which was and is in my life (I am assured or confident of that that never such will be). Yes but in the first night it was found out that one of us preal the love shortly before the beginning of our attitudes or relations, having given in first and last time before me (as it was found out later) to the previous guy, only to leave that... Here so the fairy tale has ended. There is no I too liked it or her to offend her at once or to offend, and after I did or made it very cautiously. But I have understood what is it not so my person that always she laying down with me will remember as raspingly and other person has severely managed with her. Since that moment bile has lodged in me, an idea on that that the person not waited happiness spoiled and selected it or him at another, has no right to it or him, about that that time not to me it intended, I mean worse it or him, it means that I worse it or him, in fact she already knew me then has chosen it or him, have lodged in me. JAgovoril with her I have told or said that neznaju, what now I have flashes of a rage on it or her (when again and again there are these questions) but instead of condemning, at it or her begins cry also which leads to a breath holding and an exacerbation of an asthma, it became a pity to me it or her and some times vsetaki having communicated on this subject I have understood that she not pomoshnik she only speaks me that very much likes and does not wish me to lose, cannot present as she will live without me, (of what she thought then? = (). We continue to meet has passed or has taken place year, I continue to press in myself a rage, but sometimes it seems that I already go mad, that at me a dual personality where one likes it or her, and another so fiercely hates that becomes terrible, but our attitudes or relations from its or her point of view remarkable she does not see these excruciatings (for example izgryzanie a pillow through at night) izbivanie a wall up to slomanyh greater or big fingers of arms or hand. She has already acquainted me with parents and speaks, that they ask when we shall get married. And I neznaju that to me to do or make, in fact I like it or her it precisely! But I hate it or her sometimes, it too is correct, I hate so, that is ready to strangle (probably I the monster). That to me to do or make as me to get rid of my problems. In fact it seems to me that now I am responsible or crucial in fact I have not thrown it or her at once, znachitne I have the rights to make now. On the other hand I like it or her and if she will leave at me there will be no sense in a life. What to me to do or make?