I in in the childhood was very impressionable and timid child, - mum g...

[Anna]

I in in the childhood was very impressionable and timid child, - mum spoke, that pregnancy passed or took place it or her on nerves.. It can has affected or has had an effect t. To. All in my family very self-assured people. I at all do not know from what to begin... Parents brought up me in severity and always only abused, I almost never heard a word "good fellow", though they the kindest people and always wanted to me only is kind. But it has fatally affected or has fatally had an effect me. At school I pochemu-that very badly studied, though was actually far not the silly child, parents kak-that that not knowing "have hammered" in my person, abusing for all nasvete, I have absolutely ceased to believe in myself, teachers have hung up a shortcut of the near girl.. I do not understand as it have occured or happened.. I did not try at all never, vseravno all is useless - I thought... Was afraid of severe children at this age and was considered as the grey mouse or mousy, but, I lived friendship, I had friends, or same "hammered" as I or on the contrary strong, leaders on a life.. Used my sacrifice. I very much liked people, all for the sake of them could pass or take place, and simultaneously, of myself have been never assured also myself hated more likely than liked. To me delivered huge kajf auscultation of another's problems and I always really helped or assisted people they lasted to me. But depressions have absorbed me already at 15 age and even earlier. I very much experienced, that people do not respond me same samopozhertvennostju and that I was not popular at boys of schoolmates, I was already very nice, but very constraining, always confused and silent. Clearly, that in it or this besides age it is appreciated rasskovannost. So gradually friends left, were replaced new, boys and not pahlo, that did not add to me confidence. Parents have not changed. Now at me two presents, checked up by time of the friend. To us together very much much should be gone through and loss of relatives and treachery, much was necessary to tell to us for twenty two, and I am happy, that I have met such unique people. They as well as I very thin, deep people.. We understand each other with a floor of a word. But the life is very severe, and perfect simultaneously and I who have grown in very hothouse conditions by the "house" girl, now I try to survive, parents get divorced, money is not present, (before them was much) and I of all and of all I am afraid, jobs, men.. It so is awful, at me a heap of complexes, I try to struggle, analyze, overpersuade with them myself, but all bestolku. Most of all me gnetet that I like nobody as in institute though I am considered very beautiful.. It is paradox, and a farce any. But it is the fact, yes, can, men to me and are not necessary so strongly as to another, can, I gde-that the single - lives, but it very much excruciate me, this feeling zakoldovannosti, the derelict of a society. I recognize, I am afraid of them, and especially boys from faculty which I am more senior)) in general me do not perceive.. And too are afraid, though look, but no more, and I cannot communicate with them, I do not know about what to speak, it is impossible to perceive them as samtsov, to flirt. I till now the virgin also am afraid it for a long time. I "other" "strange" "patient" I live completely not such life what my contempoparies live. I am prevented on art, music, cinema, painting, books.. Psychologies, I very much like people, relatives name me wise and very spiritual person. I differently take or spend the leisure. I can live in isolation on the nature and anybody is unnecessary me, to create.., But I sometimes revel in loneliness but I the modern, beautiful girl, externally I look or appear, sex and never will tell or say, that I the virgin. At me very modern parents, but the truth of absolutely other plan.. Rather than I - they at all do not know about my experiences and if have learned or have found out, would not understand y anything. At all of them very simply and precisely. I the creative person and we often do not understand each other, t. To. At me it is absolutely another skad mind or wit., not as at them. Most interessnoe, that my girlfriend same as I and we together try to solve our problems, to unwind this ball of our failures and to draw conclusions, and it sometimes helps or assists. As, tell or say how to find confidence??? To believe in itself, having huge potential. The childhood, school, izkoverkali my mentality seems for ever.. But there is no I read psychological books, I inspire myself, I try to like strongly myself, I analyze, I do or make conclusions, but it does not work what to find the good psychologist, are necessary time and money, I do not have either that, or another. Give what nibud advice or council! Anna

[Yanita]

Hi, Anna.
I "other" "strange" "patient" I live completely not such life what my contempoparies live. I am prevented on art, music, cinema, painting, books.. Psychologies, I very much like people...
Tell or Say to me, unless it is bad? Having read through your letter, it seemed to me, that I same as you (only to me 17). You are right - you do not have not enough confidence. Earlier I was very modest, meeting in the street schoolmates, I tried to disappear, t. To. Could not find suitable subjects for conversation. But then I have solved: it is necessary to approach with a society. I began to visit or attend various actions (school of psychologists, dances, theatrical group) where I simply naprosto HAD to communicate, I wanted that or not. You know, has helped or assisted: the level uverennnosti has grown considerably.
In my life there were no men. No. Not correctly. Them was much, even it is more, than it is necessary, but I, probably, still very small, t. To. In my soul the ideal for which features I search in all people sits. ppochti I banished many - many were dissatisfied with me, my character and after a while I have understood - it is impossible to reject, in fact it is always sick. Do not reject people, Anna, let people know and see, that you - the sincere, open, friendly person. When to me it is sad - I splashed out all the emotions on others. Do not do or make it or this. At all do not show an occasion, that to you it is melancholy. Associates are obliged to know, that you are an optimist from the big letter. Let it will be naigranno, let it will be artificial, but in due course you will join this status and it becomes for you natural.
But, if you will have problems, difficulty or will simply want to talk - I always you shall listen. yanita01@narod. ru
Yana

[Maxim]

Having read through your story I directly was glad or pleased, that there were good little girls like you (and that more increasing or more and more and more sh. .h recently comes across). To all the time: there will be at you a young man, and other problems will be resolved. Also do not hesitate of the virginity, I for example very much would be delighted if my girl was the virgin and in general would argue as you!!! Success.

[The anonym]

Too same was, the beginnings then menjatsja and not to the best, in 18 years has made attempt to come off mother who, in my opinion, influenced me badly, but having entered the university, I required in mat to support and a vein with mum till 24 years, was serious, and other output or exit was not, Unique advice or council to try to become more independent, to find podrabotku Thanks God, I always had an opportunity to leave, get away therefrom where all has bored where I have bungled

[Eve]

Hi, Anna. Has casually come on this page, but should write. Ungrateful or thankless business to advise, and not in your interests to follow another's advice or councils, therefore, I shall describe the situation. It seems. She in something is similar to yours. At first sight I never was the silent child. Received the two for behaviour. In the senior classes was friends of the noisy companies. Even few times was " queen of ball " at school. Though thus perfectly studied and has had time to leave musical school. Voobshchem, made impression of the successful and self-sufficient teenager. But I knew always, only on a background of that company with which I what is it was possible to me communicate, that I could not organize such people around of myself. Whether I can successfully adjoin, "adapt" chto-, choose a correct direction, take the place in already existing medium, but I not the leader though I seem the successful person. When I began to study in institute, the situation was similar school. I had a girlfriend from whom we were worn on faculty as two elektrovennika, conducted or order the noisy way of life, many wished to communicate with us. But I kak-as if put an obex before myself. Officially I had a rule - to not meet guys from institute, actually, almost with anybody outside of institute I even did not communicate, I almost always only sat at home, dreamed or cried that I did not have a guy, and I, by the way, was the virgin. By then, as I have understood, that I am trambled down on one place to me there were 20 years. Devochki-sokursnitsy, already for a long time with someone met, and already started to marry. I have decided to undertake the problems itself, instead of to procrastinate with the girl-friend as such beautiful and cheerful " anybody in marriage does not call us ". At first sight, apparently, what there problems: beautiful, clever, the graduate of one and z most pristizhnyh HIGH SCHOOLS of capital. But, " the happiness in private life is not present ", and nothing pleases. Voobshchem. Has designated problems, and it has appeared the most weighty - - influence of the girl-friend on my psychology and behaviour. That is - negalivnoe influence of that to what I always aspired to be one of the first - influence of a strong, bright environment. There was a necessity itself kak-that to create around of itself aura of luck. I have bought or purchased Dejla Carnegie's book. There there is such phrase: following rules, you for 2 months we shall find friends more, than for 2 years when you did not follow this advice or councils. That I shall tell or say to you. Anna, is the GREAT BOOK. If you are valid nuzhdaeshchsja in advice or councils. Here that can help or assist, it is necessary to concern seriously only.
It is necessary to understand only, that neither the best friends, nor girlfriends, the companies will not make for you more, than you, eslity will find confidence of. And it agree with the previous Respondent. Be the optimist - "put on" optimism, look or appear so, people will believe in it, and you will believe.
Think over the phrases in dialogue. It not mere words. People will know, that in you there is own "Hinge", a position. You will finish HIGH SCHOOL, you will work. And a life in working collective, believe, it is much more complex or difficult than simple dialogue. Here - the person to the person - the wolf. And the girl-friend series will not be. In dipressii the main thing - to be stirred up, break a problem on fine and to solve, solve one for another. MOST to solve. And more, friends should not pull you back. If they understand you, means at you the general or common problems, and they also are not assured of themselves. Be afraid of it or this. Be pulled out in before. And, on the bill of a situation in institute, that you there one - I shall tell or say one more phrase: " Eagles fly in loneliness, stadmi are grazed - sheeps ". The main thing to not be a sheep who thinks, that she an eagle. To be in the center, not one it to be good, but the company, or friends should not press your person. It is necessary to be able to look at things from, not tanut in the circumstances.
By your letter, you the perfect girl. Modest, but ktoskazal, what is it badly? Pretend, that you more strongly and more confidently, and you will become such. Believe, it is a good way.

[8888]

Anechka, you the perfect person! Only you do not believe in it. If you read books on psychology, and itself constantly dig in yourself roots of uncertainty go since the childhood, you and itself understand it. It is big work to be reconstructed, but it turns out. The person varies only if ITSELF wants. Whether you should solve you wish to change or you so it is convenient. And to operate or work. I wish good luck!!!

[Hazhilina I.I.]

Hello Anna! The attitude or relation to, samoootsenka is formed really in the childhood. Its or her formation is influenced with education of parents and the attitude or relation of contempoparies. But fortunately for us the confidence of can learn. The truth for this purpose it is necessary to work persistently above itself. I to you recommend to buy or purchase the book. AS you do not have opportunity to address to the psychologist internally, I recommend you to work under books where is spetsialyne exercises: M. of Parishioners " psychology of the loser "... If to speak about your dissimilarity on other people. So each person is unique, unique and consequently is boundless tsenen for a society. And I to you shall tell history. One king very much ljuil the garden. And here once he neshil to look or see as its or his trees and flowers grow. And he has seen, that all of them except for pansies sohli and vjali. Then he has approached or suited to grapes and has asked, why that fades. Grapes has responded, if I was high as a pine and strong as an oak I could bring to you of more advantage or benefit about the lord. Then he has approached or suited to an oak, and you why will take out? The oak has responded, I - ugly. If I blossomed as a rose, I could please your eye, about the lord. And you, a rose why dry. I would like to be harmonous as berezka and to give you more shadow. And only pansies, were fresh and cheerfully pleased an eye of king. And you why so are fresh and so beautifully blossom, pansies? Pansies responded: we have thought, about the lord, that if you wished to plant or put in this place a rose or grapes, you so and slelal. And consequently we are happy to blossom for you and to please your eye with the cheerful paints!
Dear Anna! You are necessary to the world with your high art taste. And you necessarily will meet the man which poljuit you, such what you are. And all that to you needs to be made to believe in itself! Success to you! Irina Ivanovna

[anna]

Zdravstvuy, Anna! Da blagoslovit tebya Bog! Krome neyverennosti tu - genianlnaya devyshka kak dlya nashevo vremenu. Tu chem to napominaesh menya. Neyverennostiu, konechno. Ckazy tebe, chto ya i zamyzem yze, i imeu dva prekracnux suna, no neyverennost mychaet menya do six por, hotiy mne yze 30. Ya borius s ney, i ochen oto vsex eto ckruvau tak chto moi roditeli, sestru, myz ob etom daze i ne dogaduvautsa, daze naoborot schitaut menya gordoy. Ohh, navernoe eto navsegda. No ya ochen yporniy chelovek i nastoichiviy v drygih planax, i eto podnimaet moiy samootsenky. Ya okonchila BYZ v moey strane, i zdes za granitsey yze imeu diplom i eto nemalovazno dlya menya. Ya ne to chto gorzus ya prosto chyvstvyu sebya na uravne drygih ludey. Ne nizhe. Ya vsegda staraus chego to dostigat chtob povisit svouy samootsenky. Chego i tebe zelay. Nahodi takoe chto bi i tebe pomogalo povisit svou samootsenky na kakoe-to vremya. A potom opiat. Da pomozet tebe Bog. I poprobyi molitsya chto i ya delay. Inogda posle obscheniya s Bogom v molitve takoe dyxovnoe ydovletvorenue i ymirotvorenie prihodit chto nichto na svete zamenit eto ne mozet. Hochy skazat chto facticheski ya ni k kakoy tserckvi ne prinadlezy, no inogda posechay tserkov i v dyshe lybliy obschatsa s Bogom, chyvstvyu Ego neznoe prisytstvie. Slava Bogy, chto On menya ponimaet i pomogaet. Dymau, budet neploho esli tu s menya vozmosh primer. I escho hochy skazat, chto moy myz yavliaetsa i moim pervim i edinstvennim myzchinoi. Ya nikovo i nikogda do nego ne imela, i silno ranshe mychilas, no potom vse proshlo, posle tovo kak ya ego vstretila. I ya teper daze gorzus chto on moi edinstvenniy hotia i ne vsegda vse gladko buvaet s nim v otnosheniah. Vot tak. Ydachi tebe, ANNYSHKA! Tu molodets, devchonka esli i dalshe bydesh derzatsa. Glavnoe ne sdavaisya. Tu normalnee obuchnuh devchonok, pover. GOD BLESS YOU!