Hello. I want sprsit advice or council how to be. More precisely someone is necessary to me, who...

[Ivan]

Hello. I want sprsit advice or council how to be. More precisely someone is necessary to me, who could advise how more correctly to act or arrive. I here cannot write all, as history long, length almost to two years. And I wrote here earlier (if here there are old residents, about a floor of year back).

Situation such: almost I two years ago have met in the expert one remarkable girl. First about a floor of year we communicated cleanly virtually, have then met, have started to meet. Met about time in 2 weeks viidu that lived in different cities. So proceeded about 7 months. We walked, went to cinema, museums of an exhibition.. So happens, that when I have started to meet her, it has coincided on time with my parting with my previous girl. I very strongly liked it or her also to me it was very bad emotionally. And such dialogue helped or assisted me to distract. In intervals between occurrings we almost every day on a floor to hour, the hour, two spoke by phone.

The first crisis has come in the extremity or end of summer of the last year has simply flared up, any my mistakes or errors against each other were imposed. I any more do not remember precisely izza that so it has turned out. We have sworn by phone izza a trifle (in my opinion) - I should meet it or her on a platform ostankino and together go to manor sheremeteva. Something was impossible To me on time, I prelozhil to meet not on a platform, and gde-that in the middle on a way. She at once has flared up, a pier here, I should one gde-that there to go, iskta you.. Then little by little as snow that has remembered to me all any mistakes or errors. As a result have agreed to meet on a platform, I poobshcheal to arrive to arrival of an electric train. The call to one o'clock in the morning, speaks, that has thought and has solved, that nenado to us to meet. In general to not meet any more. Through any time I have called to her, she has told or said to us it is necessary to have a rest from each other.

Have taken tajm-a miss for almost 2 months Have solved, that if after this time we shall not find to ourselves parnja/the girl accordingly, we shall continue to communicate. For this time we did not speak by phone met. On istichenie this time have met and have decided to continue. She has apologized, has told or said, that both of us were not right also to us it is necessary to try to begin all over again.
But not longly the happiness last. gde-that in a month two is agreed to go to theatre on days off but so it has turned out, that I on sredu-chetverg-Friday should leave for business trip. Before otezdom I have rummaged around theatre. ru, has chosen three statements and has simply sent her pages on el. To mail. I come, I call, I ask - it was defined or determined, where we shall go - has told or said is not present, I was not present it is not known when I shall arrive, at it or her other plans. I try to persuade it or her to meet even on Sunday, to sit hour per the nearest kafejne and to talk, on what I receive the answer, that it or her oskarbil that in those pages, that I have sent her were specified the prices of tickets, a pier she the girl, she should not think of it or this at all. And I was occurred also with something there to delete from the text. As was and has sent. And in general, I wish to invite it or her in cheap kafeshku, and she for a long time wants, that I reduced it or her in restaurant, I at all do not understand it or her. At us nothing will leave our attitudes or relations, we should leave for ever. In the same place was to me my former girl, a pier I till now about her only is remembered and I think (it when she already was a floor of year as married and waited for the child). It was the beginning of the last December.

We did not communicate 4 months. Then kak-that she is knocked to me in a chat, kotorit has become bored or has missed. We have again started to communicate, met, walked. She has asked me, we could live together, I have told or said, that I think, that and would like it or this. Thus speech began to go about wedding. We already discussed how we shall live, that should present on wedding that it will be necessary to buy or purchase and that is... Have learned or have found out in a registry office terms. She has told or said, that cannot wait so much any more and wishes to live more likely together. Have defined or determined the order of acquaintance, wished to be in time to the middle of October. I have acquainted it or her with parents in the beginning of May. Two weeks ago should get acquainted with its or her parents. But all was again cancelled. Yesterday has told or said, that wishes to talk seriously, and has told or said, that has thought and has solved, that to us nenado while to marry. She is not ready. If I have a desire, I can wait for it or her if is not present we shall leave. Next maratory on attitudes or relations operates or works till September, she leaves for sanatorium, then we shall look or see.

I understand, that information completely to estimate or appreciate a situation a little. Someone can will undertake to comment, that to me to do or make further. One friend has named it the flaccid novel, and love phlegmatic.;-)

To me of 27 years, her 23. She on a horoscope balances, I a scorpion if someone is interesting..

[Ivan]

Has forgotten to tell or say, I would like to understand, that I should do or make, that it or her taki to convince. Comments of type " leave it or her " or " find another " - are not accepted. She is necessary to me only.

[ksy]

To mine you to her allow to do or make all that she wants... Be the muzhik, nastoj on the, it can like her! And in general, such risky step, but can help or assist to throw light on a situation. Tell or say to her that you wish to arrive to her to sanatorium (well not to her, and as though to have a rest series that viditsja)... Look or See at reaction and arrive.

[Ivan]

I shall try to find out tomorrow where she goes. She in fact has not told or said, on what number the ticket has taken, though I especially and did not insist. Type has asked, and she has translated or transferred a subject.

In this situation there is one condition: I should not know personal data on her until she will not decide them to open. Last time attempt to find out its or her address and a surname has ended with terrible scandal and charges in excavation of dirty linen and to the subsequent razgovarivaniem with me yet has not asked proshchenja.

And sanatorium - in esentukah. To me not so it is simple from job shchas to ask for leave, that without consequences was. She umatyvaet for month, for such term me at all will not release or not let off.

[Mark]

1. You were going to to get married, and you at all do not know its or her surname and than she is engaged?
2. Whether she likes you? For you it is important?
3. Why she so carefully hides who she?

Always it is possible to find out imperceptibly who she. Then much can will rise on the places.

[Nata]

If you arranges surragat instead of the present or true feeling you can wait the lady though all life!

[marija]

It is thought, that the girl uses you as " spare air station ". .ee probably arranges such variant, that in a prostock there is such guy who on all is ready for the sake of it or her, both to wait, and to suffer and reduce it or her where she will want.... Whether, etc. and you think such girlfriend, the wife, and in the future matt your children is necessary to you?
That you it or her like that, does not mean, that she tests to you the same feelings, and from your story, just all speaks that to the girl is good with you, conveniently!!! But about love from its or her party or side of speech does not go....
elsi you accept such variant there is an opportunity, that elsi to her the variant will not turn up better she will really marry you, and will reproach then you all life, that you do not provide to her a worthy life: and reasons that give a little we spare, and we shall not buy this dogoguju a feature, girls in fact will be not interesting to her " should not dumatob it or this "
.... Can to take also to you tajm-a miss for a month and all neosmyslit or dejstvielno to arrive unexpectedly to her to sanatorium....

[Irina]

You do not have with her contact, you do not understand each other and cling to insults. With her ooochen it will be difficult. She simply has not ripened for serious attitudes or relations.

[] or atjushka]

Ivan, vo-the first, you certainly in the right to not accept statements of type " leave it or her ", but not in the right to specify to us what to speak, and what to not speak! If you here send or have come behind advice or council... Or opinion.. That... On myself I shall tell or say, that anything at you not vyjdet-100001 % from 10 %!!! It absolutely precisely also accept it as an axiom. Can now from kazyvatsja accept it, but it so. Whence I know? Yes simply you have described my situation 2 years ago. Know, at me wedding too was broke... And now I am happy, that have not made then this mistake or error. Voobshchem your girl will be never satisfied by your behaviour what it was. Will start to do or make as she hochet-all the same will find to what to carp. Between you there will be your former girl, be she though one thousand times married and two tysjai-the pregnant woman. You, vprintsipe in what are not guilty... You have made the unique oshibku-you have told to her about the past. Know, happy families speak, that if do not wish to destroy the attitude or relation, NEVER, hear, NEVER ask about the past of the liked person!!!!!!! Now you will pay for it. She not the self-assured girl also will constantly compare herself to that your was or former. And in general, want a secret? Wish to know, why she so with you acts? Because she does not respect with you... Neither as person, nor as the man. She all the same will be with that with whom she will respect..., who will be for it or her authority... It should be the person with rigid character, kogtoryj can put it or her on a place at any moment, let to her know, that she not a navel of the Universe and which at the same time will make it tenderly. And the most real in this situatsii-it that she it knows. At me all! Now your course, Sir!

[] or atjushka]

And more.. If to you " she ", what for is necessary only to you our advice or councils if you for yourselves already have solved all? Unique advice or council to YOU here means will be " Accept its or her such what she is and live you with her in its or her constantly unpredictable reactions "

[The anonym]

And you checked, money, a jewelry on a place?

[Inna]

What the hell at you instead of the girl, simply words are not present, the hysteric woman from whom not the life will be and hassle, what for to you it? She becomes such nasty woman vskorosti, will gobble up you simply

[Ivan]

To Mark: I respond on items or points. 1. I fine know, than she is engaged. A surname does not speak on that case, that if will decide to leave, that I have not found it or her. 2. I think, that likes. There were moments when it was visible. 3. I not a muscovite, and she yes. At it or her is kv., she is afraid, that I only izza registrations of all this zatejal (I so think). It or she had a sad experience, when a pier. chel. Tried to marry her, but she kak-that it prosekla and has told or said, that henceforth I shall be ostarozhna. Actually I for a long time have already found out both a surname and the address. The Internet is not too anonymous, the truth cunningly at me on it of month 4 while has met the necessary people and so on.

Nate: why a substitute?

Marie: no, I shall not go to sanatorium. It nikchemu. About a spare variant - I do not know. I try to find ways it to check up. If it so she turns out that to me vremja-ot-time lget. If it will be found out, naturally, about any continuation of speech cannot be. Rather to spare is it was discussed, and like I have found comprehension from its or her party or side, that it is necessary to compare with charges to incomes. She very clever girl. An another matter, that she osenju-in the winter often spoke about that that to her difficultly emotionally. She lived one 5 years, then began to live with parents, any fine conflicts of that they have weaned from each other, has got a job and studied porallelno. She works in an out-patient department, speaks, that for 1400. She should hold a scalpel in arms or hand and to be responsible for the person, and thus even with gloves provide for 2 sizes more. Toest any such things here which draw a sad picture of the world. I tried it or her as could support and calm or maintain and calm;support and abirritate;maintain and abirritate, but calf sufficed that she blew up.

To Irina: how to find this contact? I consider or count, that only through mutual dialogue it is possible najchitsja to understand other person. Any person can be understood, if there is to it or this an aspiration and desire.

Katjushke: rather " leave it or her " I has written exclusively from experience of the previous reference or manipulation to this conference when bolshinsvo answers had laconic enough character of the similar maintenance or contents. It is grateful for the developed or unwrapped answer. And has told to her history about the girl was or former, I then was not going to with her of anything to get or start. Though when it or her asked there in takoj-that situations (it is pure or clean - friendly) how to be, she insisted, that I have ceased to think of that and have paid attention to it or her (I here exaggerate and not literally give of its or her word, but mysl its or her words was those). And rather " only she " - I have written, that I need to understand what to do or make, to dispell its or her doubts (what to spend actions if want), instead of to answer a question " to be or to not be ".

Inna: no comments.

[The girl]

Ivan to make the correct decision, you should listen to all points of view on your situation and draw the CONCLUSION. But, from your story I have understood, that your girl does not like you. (with liked so itself do not conduct). Most likely, you also are " a spare variant ", unfortunately. Liking always it is ready to give more, than to take (eto-you), and she... I do not know. How you to convince? In fact you wish to hear only that would be desirable you. Read through this parable: " Osho speaks:
Do not save your love and do not consider or count it or her. Not be avaricious. All of you will lose. On the contrary, allow your love to blossom, share her or it, distribute it or her, let she grows.

At great king was three sons, and he wished to choose one - the successor. It was very difficult, because all three were very reasonable, very brave. And they were twins - all of one age, - so it was impossible to solve. He has consulted to a great wise man, and that has given him idea.
King has come back home and has asked all three sons to come. He has given everyone a bag of flower seeds and has told or said it or him, that he should make pilgrimage: - It will borrow or occupy some years - one, two, three, can more. And this test for you. You will return these seeds to me when I shall return. And the one who will better save them, that becomes my successor.

And king has gone to pilgrimage.
The first son has thought: " That to me to do or make with seeds? " He began to hold them in the iron safe - when the father will return, they will be such as were.
The second son has thought: " If I shall store or keep them how it is done or made by my brother, they will die. And dead seeds - at all seeds ". He has gone to shop, has sold them and has received money. And thus has thought: " When my father will come, I shall go to shop and the purchase of new seeds, I shall give their father the best, than they were ".
And the third son has gone to a garden and poured out seeds where only there was an empty seat.

In three years when the father has returned, the first son has opened the safe. Simeon have died and zavonjalis. The father has told or said: " What is it? Unless I have given these seeds to you? They should be capable rastsvesti colors or flowers and give perfect aroma - and these seeds stink! It not my seeds! " The son has minded, what is it the same seeds, but the father has told or said: " You are a materialist ".
The second son has rushed to shop, has bought or purchased seeds, has come back home and has presented their father.
But the father has told or said: " But they not the same. Your idea is better, but nevertheless it not that quality which I would like to see in you. You are a psychologist ".

He has gone to the third son in the big hope and pavor simultaneously: " That he has made? "
And the third son has led the father in a garden where millions colors or flowers around blossomed. And the son has told or said: " It those seeds, that you have given me. As soon as they will ripen, I shall collect them and I shall return to you ". The father has told or said: " You - my successor. Here and it is necessary to act with seeds! "
Reserving does not understand a life, counting up mind or wit also will lose it or her. Only creating mind or wit can understand it or her. In it or this beauty of colors or flowers - they cannot be reserved. They personify the God - the God cannot be saved up or collected. They symbolize love - and the love cannot be saved ". Love to you!

It is not casual, that flowers are a symbol of love, in all centuries or blepharons, in all countries, in any societies. The love is similar to colors or flowers - if she has blossomed in you - you need to share her or it, to give it or her. And the more you give it or her, the more she grows in you. If you continue to give, day when you will become a constant, infinite source of love will come.