Просмотр полной версии : Hello! Help or assist to understand a situation. I in divorce. I live with liked...
Hello! Help or assist to understand a situation. I in divorce. I live with the liked person a year in a civil marriage. There is a son of 12 years. There was that I zaberemennela. The second child very much I want. But with the husband seriously did not speak on this subject. Though when I have ceased to be protected, I to him have told or said about it or this.
First I was delighted to pregnancy. But now, having informed the husband, has heard it or him categorical is not present. I shall not understand what's the matter. At it or him never was children and to provide the child he in a status. But speaks, that
It is not ready morally and that does not want now the child. In general speaks, that wants, but not now, can be year through 2. But any special events in 2 years to not be expected. And to us already on 33. I try to explain, that the further, the it is more difficult to give birth to the healthy child, but he even to hear does not want. I understand, that has made a mistake also this conversation it was necessary to get or start earlier. For mistakes or errors to have to pay. But I try to understand it or him and I can not. I thought, that he likes me. In fact from liked want children. He means somnevaetsja in stability of our attitudes or relations if to not tell or say more. What for then we together? Also I do not know as myself a message. On the one hand I like it or him also he to me is necessary, and on the other hand what for all this if our attitudes or relations have no future. Can not deceive itself is better? And so hochetsja to deceive
Irina! Probably to talk once again to the husband will not bring results, no less than to bring up the child independently. Therefore probably it is necessary to accept its or his game rules. I think, that for such as he it is important to insist on the . As it is sad. Probably attitudes or relations at you will become warmer. Do not forget to remind once again that it costs or stands to you.
Irina! Its or his act has shown the obvious attitude or relation to you. Certainly, women different, lizh who would be, let drunk, lost, but mine!!! My kind sovet-leave this villain immediately, now not war, and you not the first and not last in such position, support the child, and the senior will help or assist. What for to injure the first child, showing him as the another's uncle humiliating concerns to mother. Be proud, that to you to lose, in such situation of speech about attitudes or relations to be and cannot. And about the child to leave or not - to solve only to you, but remember never it is necessary to speculate and impose children, from this all is peer anything good will not leave. Yours faithfully
I think, that business not in dislike for you, and have particularly put not in desire now to have the child. He can is afraid of the difficulties connected with this period, or still that. Now to solve only to you, but it was necessary vsetaki to both to solve it.
Thanks for support. No, he not the villain. Quite clever both independent guy and character at it or him good by way of a joint life. And I every day hear quite iskrenee I you I like.
Business more likely in cowardice, unwillingness to add to itself of a problem. He really is not ready morally.
I kogda-that was in such situation. Has become pregnant and at liked mine simply nervous stress and a hysterics has become. I have strongly been disappointed and offended by such reaction. But to him always showed, that I am assured that all will be good. With it or him or without it or him I an erypsipelas also shall bring up the child. I spoke all time, that the child of roads to me, as its or his part most. And I for what shall not kill in myself that has generated love. Seeing my determination and calmness he too has gradually reconciled to this idea and all nomalno. To my son now too 12 years and they with the father the best friends. If you wish to give birth to the child - listen to nobody - give birth or travail. You in fact know what this happiness!!!
JUlja, but he it is absolute without a hysterics and has very categorically told or said is not present. I now do not want the child. I am not ready to it or this. Unless I can impose. As it is 2 child
Forgive or Excuse, and what duration of gestation at you? Here in fact and on time it is impossible to pull. Though, for me personally is not comprehensible to do or make abortion in general, but it only my opinion. At you it is the second child, and you understand, whether that difficulties undoubtedly will and vystoite you? And suddenly he will be speaks you - " And, I in fact spoke you, I in fact spoke you... ", but also abortion to make it too a nightmare. The situation is not simple. Keep and solve!
Olga, small and abortion I to make a duration of gestation shall be in time or have time. Terribly horror. I yet did not do or make abortions. But I think I shall not dare vse-taki to give birth to the child. I one shall not pull such responsibility. I would give birth in any case if at me the son was not. So pridetsja it to go through. And then there is koe-that more terrible. I now very strongly doubt, that we shall normally live after that. There can be he and not the villain, but its or his muzhik after that to name difficultly. And if the reason in that that is not necessary to him family - especially. I do not know as further but while I would not like with it or him sex after that. I have lost something very important in the life. Can be love and respect for the husband. Whether it will return? I do not know.
I to you shall fairly tell or say, that if I had such situation I could not concern to the person as before already. Think hundred times. Unfortunately, often it is necessary to choose in a life, but believe to me, that you will regret in any case. To do or make abortion in normal conditions (clinical) it is not terrible (I speak about obezbalivanii and honey. The personnel), very hardly morally. About sex, me too it would be long, and can it is always serious. Can vsetaki talk to it or him once again, and is patient listen to its or his reasons to not remain enemies? I shall go to have a rest now. Tomorrow in the morning if wish to talk write here. I postrajus kak-nibud to support or maintain you. Only be not nervous, please. Good night. Keep.
While smoked a cigarette (raznervnichalas I for you):) has occurred - can tell or say to him: " Yes, if I would be wiser I have consulted to you before zaberemennet, and now there would be no this problem, but I postrajus to lift this child himself. " Only to tell or say easy, without emotions. Certainly, it is risk, but he can will concede? You, did not do or make never abortion, and in fact it is such rarity now. Think.
Olja, I thought above it or this. But I do not wish to achieve it or this such by. In fact it is necessary to wait for birth of the child. And if he will wait for it or him with such mood and to look as at a burden which I have imposed to him, to me will be morally very serious to bear or take out the child. Probably, violently it is impossible to make happy. If he does not understand that he of deprives, brains will not insert. Where there was my head earlier? And not the silly woman like and not today was born.
Probably really it is necessary to accept its or his game rules. You understand, I asked it or him about the reason. He even anything intelligible could not respond, I do not want also all. Speaks, that only it or this seichas did not suffice us. I in perplexity - both of us we work, with decent specialities and salaries, to live is where. Well it is clear what expenses the child, but same our child, our happiness will demand. Very much I regret that has not found out its or his opinion in advance, but believe, that I even could not assume such reaction. One I has already solved precisely - that the child to not be born. And here is how to live I do not know further.
Ira! Do not get excited! It is visible, that you are emotional and impressionable - well, in general, the woman. Think, after abortion as zhit-that will be? And the child will lose (will kill), and with liked already former attitudes or relations will not be - you already understand it. Perhaps, it is not necessary to hurry up? In fact same the first conversation, its or his first reaction, I have correctly understood? Well the person morally is not ready, is insulting, certainly, but it is not necessary to put on all a cross. Try to force to regret its or his this small little man, well I do not know, to tell, that there at it or him have already grown or vot-here will grow. Or here Olga has well told or said, what well time so it has turned out... Or postrashchat its or his threat of abortion for health. Or that after abortion your sex inclination to it or him;them will be gone (well as if). Well calm down and easy all think over how to grope its or his those points on which it is possible to press. If he basically not against children probably will still change. You the woman, and we are wiser and prisposoblennee by a life. Success!
Ir, understand here still there can be such reaction and from the big love to you. Well, for example, he does not wish to see any changes in your figure, wishes plonotsenno to be engaged in sex, I do not want problems with your health, etc. In fact so have understood, that this person has appeared in your life after your first pregnancy, t. e. He can is afraid to see you the pregnant woman, afraid of difficulties, the responsibility, but it does not mean, that he the awful person. It is possible to consider or examine;survey this situation from the different parties or sides and to do or make abortion horror, and to lose the close person it would not be desirable, and to doom still not born child to any difficulties too in fact not ochen-that well. And vsetaki try to find those points when he will change opinion. I do not wish you to frighten, but in fact it is possible to make abortion so, that at your mutual desire in two years already nothing will turn out, it is possible to explain to him, that you not can is high-grade to live after abortion in sense of morals, it is possible to ask: Well, how it is possible to kill the child? .mozhet vsetaki he will change the mind. Success!
Excuse, that I interfere, but I wish to protect the man as it is strange...
At me a situation just what isn't needed. My husband very much wants the child and within 5 years " drips on brains " in this occasion. I do not wish to have children, and have put here not in phobia, that I cannot provide financially, etc., I in obshchem-that cannot name the precise reason at all why I do not wish to have children. Ira, it seems to me, that at your husband the same! Business not in the concrete reasons, and simply I do not want also all! Also it is impossible to prove: " what it is pleasure to have children ". I too consider or examine;survey an opportunity to have children in the future, but much later, than your husband. So we rascals from it or this how here the some people were expressed? No, well why, actually, everyone should wish to have children? It is a personal choice of everyone.
And more. Abortion is not an infanticide. When after sex the woman goes to a bathroom to be washed away, she that kills spermatozoons (read - the future not born children). It is absurdity.
Dear Ira! What you have made are there will be only your choice, and everything, that you will make - will be correct! Success!
Dear Ira, very much for you I experience, the truth...
I do not wish to judge your husband, but, forgive or excuse, such infantilism in 33 years? There is no guarantee, that in 2, 3, 4 years he will not tell or say to you the same (and, most likely, so it and will be), and you will have to it or him;them a moral and physical disgust after you will kill already arisen life. And with contraception it does not go to any comparison, it is a question of absolutely different, incommensurable things!
Certainly, to solve to you and only to you, but... In fact killing not born child, you kill a part of. Apparently, you the person with light soul, you all life then will morally suffer iz-for abortion! Think, I ask you...
I would not began to live with it or him after such applications or statements!
For me abortion from the husband cannot such be! If is not present medical protivokazany.
And here my girlfriend has made abortion from the groom, has not quarrelled with it or him in some months have got married. Has become pregnant and has given birth dochku-live anything!
To everyone the !
It seems to me, that such actions he frankly shows, that it or he does not have any serious intentions concerning you. In fact to the adult to the man it should be clear, that in the event that you now will make abortion (it in 33 goda-that) chances to give birth to the child subsequently strongly fall. Most likely, it is simply convenient to him to live with you (certainly, without the child), in any way concerning you to have he would not like serious obligations. It is necessary to think properly, and it is necessary to you such the man. And more, solve for yourself why you want this child. If only to keep the man, likely, it is not necessary to leave the child. And voobshche-that, I am now in very similar situation. Has become pregnant first time in 30 years, has told or said about it or this to the man, with which fine got on (without mutual obligations), and at that a status close to shock. But I and psychologically, also am financially ready to lift the child on legs or foots and one. Therefore pregnancy 4 months has told or said dear or expensive " All good ", now, and I with pleasure bear the baby.
Ira so in fact how I have understood, it or he yet did not have children? It for you the second child, and for it or him the first, is so much doubts...
Devchenki, thanks for support. You have very much helped or assisted me the different opinions. I have calmed down and have talked once again to the husband. We longly spoke, I told what sostojamie at me in this connection. Also has felt, that if I shall a little more press - he to agree. But he has fairly told or said the following. Whether that at the given stage of a life he does not want children absolutely and somnevaetsja will want in general kogda-or. That he at all ochen-likes that detei, not able to address with them and probably from it or him to not turn out the good father. That has not grown before. Still he spoke that likes me, and that as I already have a child, it should not be the big problem. For our family he considers or counts quite enough 1 child. And more he needs to learn to get on with my son because he feels, what is it at it or him not so poluchaetsja.
Certainly it or this can be believed, and it is possible and is not present. I think
Ira, kak u vas dela, chto reshili?
Was solved vse-taki on abortion. I do not wish to impose the child. I shall "not act rushly and get excited yet,
I wish to look narrowly closely or attentively at the husband and on its or his attitude or relation to me and the son. And further time will show
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