Help or Assist advice or council... In marriage or spoilage of 13 years, me 35, the wife - 28, there is a daughter of 12 years...

[Quiet?]

Help or Assist advice or council... In marriage or spoilage of 13 years, me 35, the wife - 28, there is a daughter of 12 years. All time lived peacefully and happily, there were certainly conflicts but and at whom they are not present. A stone on soul or douche did not hold, understood and forgave each other at once... Changes and campaigns on the left neither at it or her nor at me was not... She - careful, clever, tender and opened or open, I - close or attentive, rectilinear, careful, without v/item..
PROBLEM: half a year has put itself ICQ back and simply friendly correspondence with several people simultaneously, passed in virtual, and now as she speaks also real has begun
Love with one of... (call up almost daily, correspond daily and not on an hour, occurrings yet were not...). I have noticed something couple of months back, have asked - she has left from discussion, some more attempts have appeared empty, I doubted and have opened its or her mail. Has learned or has found out that that has learned or has found out (ardent explanations, dreams about budujushchej a joint life, doubt in occasion of me, a pier he such good, and I cannot find words to tell or say, that I do not like it or him more and. t. d and t.)... There Was a finding-out of attitudes or relations, scandal and a hysterics, the attitude or relation to me has sharply changed, t. To. Like all I know what to hide... Thinks of divorce, speaks that likes it or him, but CAN not SOLVE YET and thinks and chooses between me and it or him,
(Yet has not chosen, and can has chosen yes does not speak) is afraid to be mistaken, in fact did not see IT or HIM never... While, to put it briefly, full uncertainty.., after divorce it is ready to remain the best friend, but no more...
All at a level of emotions, all that does not coincide with its or her opinion - is completely denied or justified... Ryshchet on sites in searches of answers to the questions, finds and thinks, thinks, thinks...
I have calmed down, ANYTHING IT or her I DO NOT READ, I WISH TO KNOW NOTHING, I do not wish to make a decision FOR it or her, have put it or her in full ignor and I wait, when she will make the decision... I understand, that if I shall leave now with insult is will be only the justification to her to continuation of its or her way to uncertainty... And so she should SOLVE ALL, ALL TO SAY AND START TO DO or MAKE THAT THAT HAS solved... Instead of to go down stream...
QUESTION: COLLIDED or FACED KTO-SOMEONE with a similar vital situation, whether knows ways of the positive decision for me (I wish to save it or her, our love and family), whether correct in your opinion I have borrowed or occupied a position (I wait for its or her any decision, and before all dialogue in the house is shown to minutes the-child and the finance, all rest without emotions for my part...)

[Well here]

You have missed glavnoe-and now do not understand. KF: " the PROBLEM: half a year has put itself ICQ back and has begun "... And you have not understood, that the problem has begun not half a year back, and much earlier. In not those (and furthermore in aske) - happy people are not present. It was necessary to analyze the reasons of its or her arrival to a network.

[Daisy]

To console there is nothing. My same ram, forgive or excuse, as well as you (Try to look after, insist, recollect activly, certainly, that is lost for these years... To sate or saturate a life that at it or her does not remain to time on asku and meditations. Can yet late...

[The reader]

You throw out nafig a computer from the house and predlogaesh to her to be following. Do not pay attention it I in a temper. Vertualnye comrades this or thus one, and in a real life they on half and this half all also spoils others, and that all only in chats and got acquainted and there would come or step a universal armistice. And if seryozno.. Priglasi it or him on a visit, can then she will understand, what is it not absolutely which that person she to herself napredstavljala.

[Face]

All will be normal, perebesitsja. It is crisis sredenego age. At muzhiks it is shown in job, at zhenshchin-in personal experiences. To exchange family for the virtual person she hardly to be solved....

[Quiet?]

Face: the person already almost virtual, I to her resulted or brought the same reasons - she speaks: I already almost know it or him, for this purpose there is also phone... Only the word ALMOST stirs or prevents, and still I and its or her conscience... They communicate, and our attitudes or relations - any, neither bad, nor good... She wishes to look or see at it or him? And then to solve, that HE THAT WHO is necessary to her, or to come crawling to me in a lap and sentencing, what she the SILLY WOMAN... It its or her words...
To the reader: to invite?:-) can most go - to meet... The joke and if it is fair she understands that should make a decision in that situation, that to itself has created, t. e to choose IT or HIM on that info that knows and then already to consider or examine;survey, or - again me... HERE and NOW, the third it is not given...
Daisy: the insult of the person I forgive, as you and asked... And for the period of succession of events I have passed or have taken place all stages: from sex on a cable column (figuratively speaking) before full ignoring... All was: carings, romantic travel (she and therefrom communicated), both verses with all the heart, and insisting to recollect ALL good, that was for years, and the reference or manipulation to reason, feelings while are not present..
Well here: yes is not present - I have not missed, simply she has told or said then that these or it of dialogue simply game communicated with odnoklasnikami, girlfriends, virtual friends, no more... The problem has really begun earlier, the FIRST HALF a year of this year she could not fall asleep, there was an insomnia, she excruciated herself and me, but could not understand the reason, I calmed or abirritated it or her as could (attention, razvlekalki, sex and so forth) then like have released or have let off, and then she has rushed in ICQ.
Now on my question, whether she understands that those emotions which she today has also its or her insomnia are parts of one chain, one reason, she responds YES, that confirming, that the today's virtual love, as well as yesterday's insomnia - the reasons for something more glubogoko, BUT HERE THAT BESPOKOT she DOES NOT KNOW IT or her
ALSO RUNS FROM THIS PROBLEM, DOES NOT SOLVE IT or HER...

[oshn]

He/she is the reader I try to tell or say, what in a life another, on half is worse than in an Internet?! Well, the reader, you give, yes worse than here I simply cannot be!!!!! Whom hosh ask

[Kira]

Dear Sergey! You wise enough and sensual person (by your explanations). My opinion, allow her to meet this person. In fact except for a voice, feelings on correspondence, photos... There are many specific features of the person which while are unfamiliar to yours the spouse. Probably he not beautifully eats, can is picked in a nose, or from it or him smells ottalkivajushche. In fact at a real occurring opens more information on the person. And it is possible or probable this information not in its or his advantage or benefit. Your marriage or spoilage lasts already enough longly, for this time you have already got used to features each other, became native people. And he in a reality for it or her remains another's. Give her chance to meet with it or him, I think that specific features nevertheless another's men will appear to her are not pleasant (especially as you were expressed, " on left " she did not go). Well and then try to forgive or excuse its or her this change, give more attention, sympathize, in fact it and for its or her soul the same will be stress. Success to you!!!

[Calibre]

I on your place would organize an occurring with its or her virtual gentleman somewhat quicker. Not in opened or open, certainly, but kak-nibud so has pushed. Real people so differ from with what we deal in an Internet, that simply to comparison are not a subject: internetnyj and real - absolutely different two persons. In the beginning she will very strongly be disappointed, and then... More shortly, perebesitsja, the normal husband and the child - are not scattered by such things, and family crises happen at everything, it is solved, if there is a mutual desire. Success.

[Opanki]

That sopli here have dissolved. I ljubovnichka it or her on asphalt would drive a mug, a skin with @ would remove or take off, and then to the wife on a board or panel have pulled. And then pendal, yes so that in scalene proyears. Here 4-ICQ to her submit.

[111]

Changes casual does not happen, probably you that have lost that in the joint life, behind visible well-being there is no that that main thing, that your wife tries to find in other. At me a similar situation of yours, I precisely also searched for answers to all these questions including at this forum, and eventually has come to one conclusion that is professional the qualified psychologist can help or assist only, talk to the wife, descend or go to the psychologist all over again separately, Embroider to the wife it is necessary to help or assist to understand itself, she can go in cycles and make a mistake or an error. We too now go to the psychologist and which that starts to be corrected, and more advice or council do not swear at her and do not press, it is possible or probable to you in general it is necessary to be some time separately from each other...

[The old friend]

Ochchen it is interesting as you on 15 letie wives wedding have played:)))

[Daisy]

I am sorry. Conscience has tortured. Night should be sleepless from love, instead of from "loony" with askoj.... To the reader - all has passed or has taken place - the broken modem, the third screw yesterday have established or installed, mobile with erased SMSkami, cracked mail and asku... Will pass or take place or not - at all all - to a miscellaneous. To stay idle vse-taki it is silly, if it would be desirable to save family. Difficultly, but still it is possible, it seems to me. Has returned only because the situation differs from mine that they did not see yet, and Quiet already asks advice or council, the help and half a year tries to operate or work. I can share, that at this stage could help or assist me. Time for half a year they and have not met, means there is a hope, that virtual in it or this it is more, than desires real.. Knock, to me is what to tell or say Both of you 161744362, or deisia@yandex. ru Kira, Calibre - it's nothing speak, what another's person, what disgust at an occurring... It is improbable, that so it will appear at height of feelings when they so understand each other. And in general, I in the life saw several virtual friends - any has not appeared worse, than in a network. Nuvota, is and in aske happy, it is a lot of... And so has looked or seen - her 28, to the child - 12, all is clear, that, as well as why...

[YOU WILL BURST]

.. Already one thousand times heard the justification of that to the women who are coming nearer by 30 35 years " takes down a roof "... And they begin sharply, not looking at family, the husband, children to search for acknowledgement or confirmation of the appeal and sexuality:)) at all who podruku will turn up. Real or virtual ljubovnik-not a short. The main thing that was! Do not disdain even to accuse of it or this the husband. A pier YOU in all vinovat-now in the husband only the bad parties or sides (and at whom they are not present) also start to try to discover and in every possible way them "to emphasize" in the chicken brain. That is "wind" itself. And then tears. .isteriki. .skandaly. .tak that I posovetovl too as CALIBRE... And there as the god will submit... Whether you can forgive or excuse then. .vot a question??

[Well here]

Come unhappy... And can eat and happy...))) rather.

[VBD]

At me other opinion on this bill. All advice or councils of dear community are reduced to " understanding and passivno-vyzhidateloj " positions for g-and Quiet. However, at any end of this situation to forgive or excuse it is possible, but to forget hardly. The problem here in what - the young lady, understanding, that the liking husband anywhere will not get to, twists shury-messes (let and virtual). It is necessary to show mechtatelnitse the severe truth of a life. It is More to give time to a daughter and to itself liked - to get or start or pretend, that has got or started someone, To translate or transfer zhenushku (but not the daughter!) on self-maintenance. On a daughter of money to not give, buy to her all most. The basic mistake or error - you have spoiled it or her the adoration, and from it or this to women often to become boringly. " The less woman we more, the she is less more us! "

[The censor]

With whom I shall agree, so it with VBD. - to be more rigid it is necessary. Would give at once in poddyh, it would not be wiped up any more by you. And vashche such silly woman is necessary to you? Excuse, if is raspingly, but what umisshche should be to fall in love with the one whom never saw.

[111]

To VBD That that you have advised it a direct way to divorce, to occurrence of remoteness and aggravation and without that not to an easy or a light;a mild situation, the author of the letter likes the wife and does not wish it or her to lose, therefore vrjadli he will accept this way. And where to take money the woman always will find, not from the husband so from the lover and then it is not known in what is it in general will pour out...

[VBD]

To 111 " Dead do not sweat " so any more will not be worse. To like (terribly I apologize) " In one snout " - not a way to conservation of family. And my variant - hope that madam will be requested back. That can money she and will find, (yes ktozh to her will give?))) and can and is not present, and so, let will feel a difference. An economic way the fastest and effective.

[Tier]

Mda. The censor, and you is happy with the ideology about poddyh? And if yes, why you spend so much time in an Internet?

[The censor]

Tier, well it is not necessary to take all literally. Simply, pochitav that is written it is possible to draw a conclusion that writes uncertain, unable to make the decision the person. From such wives because do not feel in them "man" and if you want "leader" run. She does or makes that wants, and he silently looks, how about it or him vyterajut legs or foots. P. S. I am happy, and I sit on the Internet because at me job such. When there is time why to not look or see at a madhouse from, and still prikolnej in itself to participate)))))

[111]

To VBD to People it is peculiar to be mistaken, but it yet does not mean, that they have died. Usually about such wives speak with Adeps rage. So those speak who does not wish to glance in a short of a problem, why she was started up in zagul, that it or her to it or this has pushed, the boring monotonous life, washing, cooking, care of the husband and the child, utter darkness can to her opostylila. I do not know that particularly in this case, but the reason always is. And the most simple way to press it or her to deprive with money, but same will not solve a problem as a matter of fact, the problem remains and vrjadli except for embitternment will cause or call in it or her, she can will hide, but then will necessarily cuckold, and is already real, the family will collapse also all love... Here then already will reflect late on problems of life

[The reader]

And I do not consider or count Quiet as the weak person who allows about itself legs or foots vyterat. Simply person to save families tries, and it where is more complex or difficult, than to be developed or unwrapped and leave. I even about myself am not assured gunpowder not psihonut on one of stages which Quiet has passed or has taken place would suffice at me... So, that accept mine of admiration! And you that would like finally that she has left or has remained? ".. She wishes to look or see at it or him? And then to solve, that HE THAT WHO is necessary to her, or to come crawling to me in a lap and sentencing, what she the SILLY WOMAN... It its or her words. " Will agree rather egoistichnyj the approach from its or her party or side or in your family such attitude or relation to you has put usual? Why she can choose, and you are not present?

[VBD]

To 111 basically, you are right, it is necessary to understand, that does not suffice in attitudes or relations and family problems, but to sit and wait, while the darling perebesitsja not a variant. By a statement of a problem g-on Quiet, he not that person with whom it would be impossible on normal to agree.

[Quiet?]

Kire, Calibre: dear Kira, my name is not Sergey, but business not in it or this... I CAN not ALLOW TO MEET to her IT or him, UNDERSTAND Also me..., I TOO HAVE a VANITY... IF she PUTS ours 13 YEARS or SUMMER ATTITUDES or RELATIONS (WITHOUT predatelstv, CHANGES, And OTHER, THAT OFTEN ACCOMPANIES HOME LIFE) ON ONE BOWL With LETTERS, CORRESPONDENCE And NEGOTIATIONS ON BODIES, THAT!!! I CAN MAKE... YES I LIKE IT or her, YES In THAT THAT OCCURS or HAPPENS there is Also my FAULT, BUT she SHOULD MAKE A DECISION... I IT or her AM not insolent or HOLD, BUT I ON IT or her And DO NOT PRESS... LET the RESPONSIBILITY FOR ITS or her DECISION WILL be ON her, I AM not afraid of the RESPONSIBILITY - BECAUSE my DECISION is already accepted, I WAIT...
WILL cross the THRESHOLD of FAMILY - GOOD RIDDANCE, I wish GOOD LUCK... And he has approached or suited or has not approached or suited, further not my business... That the fleeting occurring (day, week, month) will give - certainly new emotions will be more strongly, more brightly ours... But a dust of emotions uljazhetsja, that further... Let solves...
111 mu: To address to the psychologist - one of my offers, but she is not ready... As the third can help or assist another's with a problem of two rodnyz - approximately so it at it or her sounds...
There were some attempts to find most - but as I understand, anything up to the extremity or end is not realized... Does not believe them... To me believes, but the reason while is absent, one emotions...
To the old Friend: yes, have met when to her was 15, 16 I have undersigned in it or her 22 - were anybody from anywhere, all reached or achieved and TOGETHER (education, a financial position and so forth..)
In the first year to the child ONE apple could buy or purchase, poverty..., in six years - a trip to Canary Islands for 2 weeks... I joked, spoke what is it wedding travel...)
To VBD: earlier she depend on me economically, and now it or her z/p in 2 times it is more than mine... While it is more...
The IDEA ABOUT PHYSICAL pouchanie - poddyh there or about asphalt - DOES NOT APPROACH or SUIT - I from one impact shall kill it or her,
Experience of Caucasus, and street gift or for nothing does not pass or take place east units... And the hammered cyborg is not necessary to me...
To the censor, the Reader: the Censor, we shall leave my uncertainty on your conscience, the problem just seems to me in that, what is it I ALWAYS made FATAL DECISIONS FOR FAMILY, IT she ALWAYS LEANED or BASED ON my CONFIDENCE... And now the girl has grown, she too would like to prove something... Here also tries to lift the EGO due to my belittling... And anybody about anybody did not wipe a leg or foot - so from the date of acquaintance has been got or started... ALWAYS AGREED, ULTIMATUMS were not put And were not accepted...
And NOW she WANTS THAT I HAVE MADE A DECISION TO LEAVE - THEN she AGAIN WILL float ON CURRENT of the LIFE, JUSTIFYING ITSELF(HIMSELF), THAT HERE the PIER HE HAS left, THAT to me was TO DO or MAKE... JUST ETOGO-CHANCE I Also DO NOT GIVE THAT to her... TO LEAVE, PSIHANUV, most easier... And YOU HERE FIND FORCES And CONFIDENCE Of TO REMAIN...
And TO WAIT ITS or her DECISIONS... Besides IT STILL About WHAT DOES NOT SPEAK IF she WILL tell or say YES - THEN I SHALL ALREADY SOLVE, THAT me TO DO or MAKE, WHETHER I CAN ALL ANEW... I am not going to with tears and sopljami there and then to rush under legs or foots with happiness that have chosen! Me...
To the reader: In our family it is really unusual situation, Yes thought of itself, but also about the friend the friend too... SUCH EGOISM in attitudes or relations YET was not...