Prompt me something, and that I cannot any more... A problem that I...

[ALEX]

Prompt me something, and that I cannot any more... A problem that I have met the remarkable girl and at us now all is perfect, but... It or she had a guy up to me, I have by the way served as their reason rasstovanija, at me she too not the first, but... But why I am jealous it or her of the past and it or this simply myself I exhaust. I while about it or this do not speak anything to her, but... JAponimaju, it is what is it wrong also in fact the past, now she with me, but... But similar autotrainings do not give any result. The head understands, and inside lives "chervjachok" and all to him at all gnaws and gnaws. I simply cannot present, that someone touched her except for me. With me it for the first time. I do not know, as to do or make. The main thing to us is very good together and I very much do not wish to spoil all. And in what my such status will pour out and how much I can suffer or bear I do not know. HELP or ASSIST if can. In advance thanks.

[Kiseleva E.J.]

Good morning, Alex! Actually jealousy not the most bad feeling. We learn or find out about itself in the earliest childhood when we start to be jealous even in infancy our mummy when she leaves a room and leaves us to lay in krovatki. When you like the person there are series vozreny on it. One at once consider or count the half as property, in good comprehension of this word and in every possible way start to preserve the love, as pours out in the zealous attitude or relation. At the same time, here I wish to tell or say that is pleasant to many girls when their young man is jealous. So, to understand as to struggle with jealousy let's understand, and what such jealousy? is the healthy instinct, given to us for the good of. She will mobilize our feelings and very much often is capable, in good sense, to stir up feelings. The main thing to not get stuck in this period of jealousy. If we shall address to your case. You are afraid and not mozhite predstvit, that someone touches your girlfriend. Here the pavor of loss is replaced by pavor of loss of the control over the property, etc. Therefore to you, Alex, it is necessary to understand itself most likely. What you so frightens in your attitudes or relations? What prevents to enjoy " here and now "?

[Yuriy]

I want operetsja on the experience. A situation similar. I have dared to talk to her on this subject. For the beginning I have asked: " you have what you hide from me? ", She tvetila, that is not present. I have told or said, that letters which are stored or kept at you, they do not like me, she has understood me and has told or said, that them will simply throw out, what is it dust. Specially I did not check, she has thrown out or not, but to me of this answer was quite enough. Certainly still there are moments, for example phone of this person is written down at it or her in NEW bloknotike, at times I speak myself, that I think, especially, much she to me has told or said, that with this person she rassgovarivaet as with the friend. The main thing, that I at it or her unique. I consider or count, that always it is necessary to speak frankly absolutely about everything, I too all over again thought, that I shall be silent and hold in myself. With jealousy I vstolknulsja for the first time, probably, that has really fallen in love vpervyj time, and I respond myself to the same question, I mean it or her strongly I like and I worry for it or her, I am afraid to lose therefore and there are attacks of jealousy. And still it would be desirable to specify what time you are familiar, how close communicate and how for a long time?
I am am helped or assisted itself by the control. Here the basic items or points:
- To speak frankly and beautifully (without curses and censures) to tell or say, that really it is not pleasant.

- At us is tetradki in which we bring, that is pleasant and not pleasant, and also the basic events. In it or her I wrote down the attacks of jealousy and the reason of their occurrence. Now reading the last records, I have a feeling of nonsense that did or made not correctly reflecting on trezvoju a head. Very interestingly, it helps or assists samoanalizirovat.

- Friends strongly help or assist. I have a remarkable friend (she). Lives in other republic. She too considers or counts me as the best friend. And nogda she comes to us, voobshchem she is familiar with mine nevestkoj, speaks, chto-we would not quarrel. She has very much helped or assisted me with such situation. If there is a close friend it is necessary to talk to it or him

- You have already taken the first step, because you have told, though and not to the friend, but in the necessary place. I too here am a lot of for myself have emphasized.

- I am engaged in studying of psychology and auto-training.

- Spend more time together. (only together)

I emphasize last phrase, because I have such problem, in day of the acquaintance, wish to descend or go from her in that place where we have met, only together. She speaks, chto-there would be its or her girlfriends. I have told or said: " give we shall make so, we shall play stsenku our acquaintance, I the same shall come with the friends " We refer or have converged on a common opinion. Though on soul or douche certainly it would be desirable to descend or go together, on edine, in fact same only especially our holiday, and me its or her girlfriends and my friends do not interest. Though I have converged on a common opinion (compromise), but in soul or douche I do not know, how to me to be??? Success to you.

[The anonym]

Jealousy = vanity.

[ALEX]

Big all thanks!!!