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Просмотр полной версии : Good afternoon! I very much would wish to receive consultation of the psychologist or is simple p...



Olja, 22 years, St.-Petersburg
16.07.2004, 19:56
Good afternoon! I very much would wish to receive consultation of the psychologist or simply support, t. To. Has very much got confused. To me 22, to him 24. Have started to meet 4 years ago. Were students, all was good, the love, intimate relations, were going to to create family. But, the approached or suited to it or this more close, the opened problems and differences between us more: he from other country (has arrived to study), its or his parents were against constantly pressed on it or him, that it is necessary to come back and help or assist with business, my parents even have forbidden to him to appear at our place (were against, t. To. At us different cultures and he "is not good enough"). We like wished to consult and start to live with all from all independently but it has not turned out. At it or him depression has simply begun: he has given up job, the small business, has thrown institute on last course, has ceased to communicate with friends. I continued to work and hoped, that at it or him will pass or take place crisis and we shall work together and we can create family. But here serious problems at its or his parents have begun and I have understood on its or his mood, that he was going to to go there (if it there would be my parents I too so has made - I it to him and has told or said) it or him to help or assist. It means, that he will not return any more, t. To. Will start to be engaged in business there. I have told or said to him, that so I can not so to live: to wait for it or him, in uncertainty, not knowing even, he will return or not. He has told or said, that I do not like it or him (Though he knows how I am strong it or him I like). Also it is not necessary to think of the future so much. Cited as an example others which all over again marry, and " then think what to do or make further and anything ". Two months he does not call. Desires to begin or start with someone new attitudes or relations at me are not present. I cannot believe, that someone another will be my husband, that someone will be the father of my children. To call to him, I know, it is useless - all will return into place. Practice has shown, that at it or him such character: When I am not accessible - he is ready on everything when I am ready for the sake of it or him on all - he ceases that or to do or make. Here I also wait, that he will call once and will tell or say " Dear, I have made all for our joint life! Give we shall meet! ". I understand, what is it silly, but I can do or make nothing. On the one hand it seems to me, that I in something am guilty, with another, a head I understand, that from the reasonable point of view I have acted or arrived correctly. But he has exposed all as as if I am guilty also all have spoiled. What to me to do or make? Help or assist, please.

Willi
20.07.2004, 18:17
To not resist to any ideas... Let to itself flow... " He has exposed " - let it will be its or his problem, what for it or her at once on itself to dress...
22 - quite a turning-point... When children's and youthful friends leave... The institute is finished and other life begins absolutely... Enjoy her or it...

Sergey
24.07.2004, 06:04
Olja, you looked "Matrix"? If yes, look or see once again, more closely or attentively. Remember, there Pifija speaks neo: " You wait for something. Can be other life? ". And you for that wait? Believe to me, the love on distance does not exist, and if exists, only in naive maiden dreams. If you continue to be engaged in a self-suggestion and self-torture all and remains. Try to begin new attitudes or relations simply. Not for the sake of something, and it is simple so, for the sake of itself. And then, during the certain moment you will understand, that all not so is bad. Yes, and more. I can tell or say for certain almost as similar histories has heard and has seen it is a lot of: to wait to you there is nothing. Well or at least, the result will strongly disappoint you. Yes, and more: it is your life, to you and to make a decision.

marusja
26.07.2004, 07:09
To Sergey: in my opinion, if the love is, she is, and not distances, not time, etc. to her are not important. Devechi dreams?! Or here it is necessary to sympathize, or you dissemble. Ole: if you ask such questions vrjatli it is love.

Olesya
29.07.2004, 05:44
Olja, my opinion - it is not necessary to call, as though it would not be desirable. At me the husband same - if I go on reconciliation, he "shows off", and if I am cold with it or him then he is ready on all.
You need to wait, 2 months not such big term for conclusions. Only in parallel it is necessary to study to live without it or him. It will be firstly very complex or difficult, but it is necessary to force to walk, meet itself girlfriends, to go on discos, to cinema. Do not wish to think about dr. muzhchinah-do not think. Time treats. If he will not appear through nesk. mesjatsev-he means will finish in your attitudes or relations. Only, I shall repeat, time treats, and most likely to you it will be already indifferent.
Happiness to you.

Iriska
30.07.2004, 23:59
Yes, Olja, you it is serious, but believe, time treats all, though you likely take offence, when everyone speak as if you otnosheja have terminated. But it so, try to read through the report, and you will see, that you do not believe that he will return. It is a pity certainly, but it does not mean, that the life has ended, at you still ahead, I wish your of good luck, I believe, that you will consult!