I
14.07.2004, 14:45
Hello! At me the problem seems too!
I think all has begun years with 14 when I have read through clause or article about an autism, then it seemed to me, that I am ill or sick with it or this, found signs... I keep a diary years 5, always I write down there the feelings, ideas, happens very longly I sit one and it very much to like me.
Here and now such pleasant calmness. I have distracted. Then I wrote the sensations, it seemed sometimes, that bacteria creep on a skin, etc.
And as has come across the Directory of the therapist, has come across illness or disease a schizophrenia and has found similarity to self..!!!; - ((Sometimes it seems to me what is it neeryozno, sometimes on the contrary!!! I am or be interested in philosophy, I know a little, but I like to write, argue, strange, I sometimes turn out zagruzhabs this all. I buy books, I look in an anticipation of reading, but chashchedo the reading does not reach!! At me it is a lot of books. Me for a long time interested, why I always draw eyes, in all tetradkah.. Everywhere, not reflecting, has bought or purchased the book " a drawing in a psychotherapy ". And there it is written, what is it can be an attribute.. Schizophrenias!; - (Again concurrence! I understand, that I but if all I am prevented on illness or disease can be not sick certainly, I mean not by way of.
And so to me it is valid vseravno for everything, I think from all in the life can refuse. Often I cut fingers. I sit one in a bath or in a room, I do not work on public!!!!!! Tried to cut to itself even a small vein on an arm or a hand and kak-that beat on a leg or foot a knife "chop", I sit on sites about a suicide, I read, I choose ways, I represent the mors, but I know, that, most likely, while my parents I are alive shall not commit suicide: I objazana it or him the life. I like to draw, but sometimes I am afraid of the drawings, well it I think nonsense.
byaajut times when I go and enough lishl a little me to touch with a word and I shall begin to cry or pay. When entered the institute, very much was afraid to not act or arrive, thought, that if I shall not act or arrive me precisely in psihushku it will be necessary to send. Went on courses to Petersburg HIGH SCHOOL, but there the teacher on hudozh. predemetu, has told or said, that I " not their level ". I have not begun to cry nearly, doterpela a lesson and have left, more on this subject I did not go, and then and others have thrown, one went on city, sat drew, wrote ideas to the underground, descended or went in the House of the book. Parents do not know. Eventually I have entered high school of our city, on the teacher FROM.
At me badly it turns out to study, now here 2 weeks as I shirk. 2 times a saw spirtn sit at home. Drinks, I know, what is it very badly, in soul or douche absolutely emptiness, apathy to all.
It seems to me, that if there will leave parents, I never shall leave the house, I shall run wild here, I shall be even more inaccurate. Happens I sit and gde-that is looked through other life with nrormalnymi bright feelings. But it is rare.
Recently I have quarrelled with the guy! I sobed all the evening long. And when parents have entered to me into a room, I had any failure!!! I asked and to leave me one, fell before them on knees, shouted, mum speaks, that I the hysteric woman!!; - (
The daddy speaks, that I cannot help or assist myself.
2 more days I shall be at home one.
Has now read through the letter, it is written kak-that ugly. Let will be as is.
I do not know what to do or make. There is still more many that it is possible to write.
I think all has begun years with 14 when I have read through clause or article about an autism, then it seemed to me, that I am ill or sick with it or this, found signs... I keep a diary years 5, always I write down there the feelings, ideas, happens very longly I sit one and it very much to like me.
Here and now such pleasant calmness. I have distracted. Then I wrote the sensations, it seemed sometimes, that bacteria creep on a skin, etc.
And as has come across the Directory of the therapist, has come across illness or disease a schizophrenia and has found similarity to self..!!!; - ((Sometimes it seems to me what is it neeryozno, sometimes on the contrary!!! I am or be interested in philosophy, I know a little, but I like to write, argue, strange, I sometimes turn out zagruzhabs this all. I buy books, I look in an anticipation of reading, but chashchedo the reading does not reach!! At me it is a lot of books. Me for a long time interested, why I always draw eyes, in all tetradkah.. Everywhere, not reflecting, has bought or purchased the book " a drawing in a psychotherapy ". And there it is written, what is it can be an attribute.. Schizophrenias!; - (Again concurrence! I understand, that I but if all I am prevented on illness or disease can be not sick certainly, I mean not by way of.
And so to me it is valid vseravno for everything, I think from all in the life can refuse. Often I cut fingers. I sit one in a bath or in a room, I do not work on public!!!!!! Tried to cut to itself even a small vein on an arm or a hand and kak-that beat on a leg or foot a knife "chop", I sit on sites about a suicide, I read, I choose ways, I represent the mors, but I know, that, most likely, while my parents I are alive shall not commit suicide: I objazana it or him the life. I like to draw, but sometimes I am afraid of the drawings, well it I think nonsense.
byaajut times when I go and enough lishl a little me to touch with a word and I shall begin to cry or pay. When entered the institute, very much was afraid to not act or arrive, thought, that if I shall not act or arrive me precisely in psihushku it will be necessary to send. Went on courses to Petersburg HIGH SCHOOL, but there the teacher on hudozh. predemetu, has told or said, that I " not their level ". I have not begun to cry nearly, doterpela a lesson and have left, more on this subject I did not go, and then and others have thrown, one went on city, sat drew, wrote ideas to the underground, descended or went in the House of the book. Parents do not know. Eventually I have entered high school of our city, on the teacher FROM.
At me badly it turns out to study, now here 2 weeks as I shirk. 2 times a saw spirtn sit at home. Drinks, I know, what is it very badly, in soul or douche absolutely emptiness, apathy to all.
It seems to me, that if there will leave parents, I never shall leave the house, I shall run wild here, I shall be even more inaccurate. Happens I sit and gde-that is looked through other life with nrormalnymi bright feelings. But it is rare.
Recently I have quarrelled with the guy! I sobed all the evening long. And when parents have entered to me into a room, I had any failure!!! I asked and to leave me one, fell before them on knees, shouted, mum speaks, that I the hysteric woman!!; - (
The daddy speaks, that I cannot help or assist myself.
2 more days I shall be at home one.
Has now read through the letter, it is written kak-that ugly. Let will be as is.
I do not know what to do or make. There is still more many that it is possible to write.