My parents brought up me in severity. I went on dances, in musical...

[Endzhel]

My parents brought up me in severity. I went on dances, to musical school, learned or taught foreign tongues - and in all parents to me put a high rod. My mum through me embodied the non-realized dreams - dances, game on the piano, knowledge of tongues, etc. I should be absolutely another - not such as the senior sister (she is more senior than me for 9 years). And she was obstinate, wilful, did not show special talents neither in music, nor in dances. Parents constantly clashed or conflicted with her. In my character there was no desire to clash or conflict with parents, I very much liked them and wished them to please, in difference from the senior sister. Greater or big hopes were assigned to me - " our sun ", "clear head", " the talented girl ". But when something was impossible to me me started to shame, speak that I do not suit anywhere, that I as the senior sister. Even if I gde-that was successful, my mum always spoke teachers: " do not praise it or her ".
At teenage age all my attempts to establish or install as the person to express the opinion were perceived by my mum as " a pig ungrateful or thankless ", " we are not necessary to you " and all in such sort. What fight to me should be sustained, when I have decided to marry and give birth to the child in 19 years - terribly to recollect. Now parents live in other city, at me the family, the child, I am engaged in liked business. But in dialogue continually at my mum slip the words meaning what hopes they assign to me.
And I constantly am in a status of any break. On the one hand I wish to begin the life, without complexes, clamps. On the other hand, I would like, that parents were proud of me, that they liked me not simply for something, and that I am is simple, that I their daughter.
I very much neuverenna, I constantly look back, and whether correctly I do or make all, that of me will think, whether pohvaljat me. If me criticize - I cannot easy listen to it, I simply start to cry. But if I do or make something, I do or make it qualitatively, thoughtfully, I finish business. But very much often such "perfektsionizm" to me stirs or prevents, it is dragged for me 10 pudovoj the weight. I constantly am in any strain, with caution on opinion of another's people. Especially I have felt gravity of the position now when have started to sing on a stage. I supervise all time, and whether correctly I sing, as I look or appear, that of me think, etc.
Help or Assist! How to get rid of this misfortune? How to start to trust itself, instead of another's opinion?
I very much ask you!

[pusik]

You already the greater or big girl, and all try guilty to make parents. By your letter, they actually mnog in you have enclosed, it not simply to give so much to time to the child. You already mum and soon will understand all on the experience. Be proud of the parents, that they in you have enclosed forces so much, be proud of itself that at you that that turns out. As to your complexes, do or make all with love to and the relatives, do not wait from love of feedback, and complexes will pass or take place all. At you very well, at you good parents and you the good fellow as do not cost or stand on a place and that that in a life you wish to achieve

[Buharov J.M.]

Hello! To achieve about what you write - " to start to trust yourselves, instead of another's opinion ", it is necessary to find, first of all, this or thus yourself". It is necessary to learn most to like yourself not " for something ", and that you are on light - differently is simple, you should find in yourselves unconditional value. This process has two basic components: vo-the first, you need to be released or exempted from all that to you prevents to address directly to itself, first of all, certainly, from a constant estimation of from the point of view of your parents; vo-the second, it is necessary for you as follows, in detail to realize who and that you to eat, clear for itself the maintenance or contents own "I". All can be done it, basically, and it is independent - but it difficultly and longly. Much more quickly and more effectively it to make by means of spetsialista-the psychologist to whom I would recommend you to address internally.