Dear friends! Help or assist, please, advice or council: 1) THAT is better to tell or say 6 letn...

[Yana]

Dear friends! Help or assist, please, advice or council: 1) THAT is better to tell or say to 6 years or summer son what its or his father has decided to be separately from us as has fallen in love with other woman? Official divorce did not take place yet, and I hope and does not take place at all (if the husband will make a decision to remain with semyoj). The husband likes the son and is afraid of it or him to lose. 2) AS least travmatichno for the child to inform? 3) WHEN it is better to tell or say to the son about it or this - when he will ask: " Why the daddy of the house does not live? ", or it is better to tell or say the first most? While the son is in village with the grandmother, but will be fast at home and all uvidet. Thankful in advance for the answer!

[Nika]

I would not began to speak the son the truth, 6 years or summer child is still capable to believe that at the daddy at present such job, far for example. Probably you and the truth reconcile, and at the son the trauma remains. At least all over again you should be defined or determined, then already to the child inform on the concrete decision. Though for you personally, longly to live in hope, not so well.

[Lerchik]

Yana and why you should speak the son the truth? It turns out so, that the husband, excuse, napakostil-and in scrubs, and you now for it or him will explain all. If at you such judicious husband who has decided to not act rushly and to check up the chuvstva-let from then will work to pick up words for the liked son.

[Yana]

Thanks, Nika, for advice or council! Probably, you are right - sometimes the lie happens the truth is salutarier. And to live in hope of reunion of family is my realized choice.

[Yana - Lerchiku]

Muzh-that will tell or say to the son, but will tell or say how it to conveniently him (well and to the son, certainly). But the truth in fact at everyone the, and that would be desirable the husband, and that would be desirable me - two greater or big differences. The husband would like to remain sitting on two chairs (that and in family all tiho-was quiet and that with maiden of attitudes or relations to not tear). The main thing for it or him is to save own peace of mind. And for me such position " on a fur-tree to get and chego-to-there to not peel or fleece " is absolutely unacceptable. And you in fact know - as to the child will present, so he and will think. Will not mature yet and all will not understand.

[Olga]

Yana, yes at you a serious case. By your reference or manipulation to Lerchik, you want pripodnesti a situation to the child not so that it or him to relieve of a trauma and that personally YOU were in more favourable light, and, probably, are afraid, that the husband will tell or say something not how it would be desirable you. Forget about insults and do not mix or admix some grain with a peel. Wish to deprive with the father of the child? Then dare. But, I consider or count, that a pastel of spouses and presence there two or three - not a subject, for conversation with the child, and not an occasion to incite the child against one of parents. If be afraid, that the husband will tell or say something not so, talk to it or him and develop or produce joint strategy of behaviour. If certainly want, that the father at the child was always! And, if will aspire to screen everyone itself, in opinion of the child then be not surprised if the situation will develop as at many: the wife names the former husband any words, know with what, that he does not show love, attention and care to the child. And, in fact itself has made all discrediting the father in opinion of the child. The child should know, that its or his daddy very much likes, but cannot live together, thus the fact of separate residing as is not that there will be no dialogue with the daddy. It so frequent on how much it will be possible or probable. Success.

[Natalia]

Yana, to you have given very good advice or councils, but I would discuss a problem with the husband to not appear lgunej in opinion of the child. First of all it is necessary to find out, whether neameren the husband to acquaint the child with "another"? If yes how here to speak, what he has left for business trip? If wish to restore family, be very constrained and patient. "Another" will start to be jealous it or him of the child and to you, use it or this!

[Yana]

All many thanks for advice or councils! To Olga - I can not so was expressed - certainly, for me the main thing is less to injure the little son! Simply the husband does not consider or count, that in such tripartite alliance there is something abnormal, and I consider or count. Also I do not want, that this idea he lead up to the child, forming at it or him wrong representation about family. I too do not wish anything to tell to the son, only if he will ask, I shall try to tell or say something harmless, and to tell or say so that he has not given to it or this value or meaning;importance. And to interfere I there will be no naturally to dialogue syn-a father as very much I like the son, and to him still it is so much in a life of all necessary to test what to add to him the acts a pain I consider or count impossible.