Irina Ivanovna, at me to you a question. I have shown yesterday your answer from 28 m...

[Olesya]

Irina Ivanovna, at me to you a question. I have shown yesterday your answer from May, 28th to the husband. Thus I was very (sincerely tender, goods, is close or attentive to it or him;them, spoke, that very much I like it or him and. t. d. He was surprised (pleasantly) a little, that I so conduct myself. And has then told or said (and he promised to not lift a subject of the child) more: if you so like me, give I shall take away a daughter - to evenings till Friday that she communicated with the second grandmother. And then we together shall go to them on a summer residence and we shall leave it or her there for a week. I, certainly, very strongly was upset, have offered, that we walked in the evening all together. Has explained, that I all the day at job and very much miss on the child... On what he has told or said, " well in fact it is necessary, that the daughter got used to the grandmother if you will be series, she will not get used ". To me it became insulting, that he does not think at all of my feelings and does not understand me, and thinks of mum. Then he has told or said, that I as always think only of myself and that " even the psychologist has told or said, that you should not interfere with dialogue of the grandmother with the grand daughter ". He has told or said, that the letter has been directed on it, and I see only that I want (not giving the child for a week to the grandmother). Voobshchem evening has ended sadly. He has told or said, that when has on the eve solved, that to me more anything will not speak - to an occasion of the child, he checked me (I has seen, how you at once have calmed down). Also it is the truth.
And what here to check?! I have thought, that he has simply decided to trust in me on this question, and it has appeared, that simply wished to offend. When I have told or said, that I shall not speak any more to him about the love, he so me "uses" time, he has told or said - And it is not necessary!
I do not know what to do or make! How to act or arrive?

[Hazhilina I.I.]

Olesya! I shall respond you in the evening.

[The anonym]

You are not right!

[Hazhilina I.I.]

Hello Olesya! First of all to each of you and you and the husband to ask to itself a question: whether you are ready to endow health of the child to prove to another, what he is right? It seems to me, that is not present. Because both of you like the child. And if you really like the daughter it is necessary to proceed not from a position of your husband and not from your position, and how the child will feel better and more comfortably. While the return picture is observed. Both of you use the daughter as the argument proving love or not love to each other. And each of you in my previous letter has seen only those moments which itself has wanted
What to do or make in the given situation? Sits down a negotiating table and together with the psychologist to analyze in detail situation and to search mutually advantageous, I emphasize mutually advantageous decisions (instead of favourable only for someone one) and the main thing considering interests of the child first of all, instead of the third parties. About education by grandmothers is in general a question separate. Dialogue with (both) grandmothers is one, and it should be not dependent on that it is pleasant to you or not. The Another matter what to bring up the child you should and your husband, instead of the senior generation. About walks of the child with the husband and its or his mum I do not see here anything bad if, certainly the child will not have a negative reaction. But here it is not necessary to put the purposes that it occured or happened necessarily without you, as well as it is not necessary to put the purposes - an obligatory trip of the child with the second grandmother on a summer residence. Here, first of all, it is necessary to observe, how the girl will communicate with the grandmother, its or her reaction, whether to the child it will be good with her. And most likely it is necessary to go three together you, the husband and she, and then (if dialogue of the girl with the grandmother normal) to leave two of them, and to you with the husband to go in kuda-nibud, for example to cinema. And further to look on a situation if you will see, that the girl willingly communicates with the grandmother it is possible to solve the problem with a summer residence positively. If dialogue is not got on, the girl hesitates, cries, capricious, then badly sleeps, does not eat, there are problems with an intestine the question with a summer residence should be solved negatively. And in general, it is too much to leave needlessly the child with grandmothers, it is not recommended. Children can have a pavor to be thrown, that behind them will not return. For example, one little boy of five years so has told or said to mum who needed to go on job, and she has once again brought it or him to the grandmother: you again have thrown me . And to tell the truth at such age to the small child is better together with parents
In general, Olesja-questions which you set only a part of an iceberg which is not visible also it already a question not for the Internet, and for internal consultation. And while your misunderstanding each other has not led to greater or big troubles it is necessary to address to the psychologist. I already wrote to you, that necessities is ready to consult you. If you not from Moscow search for the psychologist at itself in city.

[Olesya]

Irina Ivanovna, thanks big for such detailed answer.