Alex
09.06.2004, 00:46
In general I do not know from what and to begin. I have fallen in love. I fall in love, as I have noticed enough often and on a regular basis, and it is not so ridiculous, and sad potomu-as I "have finished" myself already to the handle... Usually so there was, that a girl "zanjatjana", and this time " all in azhure ", BUT not tut-that was: I am not able to look after... Or I do not know as (?) . Has more shortly left so, that else plainly not knowing it or her I have decided to admit to her love. Naturally she has told or said "is not present" svoeobraznyi in the way... But has put still not in it or this. I longly thought why I have decided immeno "to begin" with this girl (it is necessary to tell or say that she very good and difficultly enough to notice at it or her any disadvantages if they in general need to be noticed), and and have not finished thinking. And was above what to think: at first all looked or appeared as - " I want a poodle " and all. But now I do not know, that to me did or made t. To. At me already pomojmu depression begins. The matter is that it is difficult to me to talk to her, and on a subject of love she does not want razgovarit about what she to me recently has told or said (besides not directly)... Here such situation (if it is clear certainly). That there will be further I do not know, I already have written the letter to her, t. To. razgovoritsja it is impossible... But what now? She has read through it or him (the maintenance or contents, understand I shall not state, but there basically too that I wished to tell or say to her in alive), have read through also result any... I simply any more do not know, whether it is possible to approach or suit to her, it seems to me that I have decided and have wound in the head such, that if to her to tell, she will tell or say: I even could not think of it or this!. More shortly what to do or make I do not know... And so forth methods of type if not you that not who is more than idea on suicide, delirium any. And the most important I do not understand it or her (that is I am faster myself has confused also myself I do not understand) - why she cannot precisely tell or say to me: " do not go for me ".
(Up to it or her at me whom nebylo, and and now she still mine)... Should tell or say still, that when I have seen it or her, firstly, as always did not believe " in success ", but all I now cannot peerly leave this all as is. My friends unanimously speak me of type: it or she too has a choice; not destiny and so forth things... Which obviously do not console me. So it is silly, I cannot become with her the friend at all (if such in general there is), BUT the MOST IMPORTANT THAT THAT she WISHES TO HAVE the FRIEND, I from it or her heard it. I do not wish to delirate here about "inferiority", t. To. It is assured or confident, that even if I would be above it or her on 5 - all peerly anything would not leave. All I can not any more, money for visiting of the psychiatrist at me now is not present, yes at it or him and not marriage office... About hurting feelings I already know all this theory, but it is besides better to not become. I now cannot present myself, that in a month (for example) I in kogoto still an occurring... (time certainly treats, but...)
WHY so when the girl without the guy and all peerly nothing leaves, as at others, just such which I wear out in bed and throw. Just such she does not want. Here it is necessary to tell or say that she adheres old to tradition and it or her it is forbidden (?) zanimatjas by sex before wedding. I have firstly thought that my aspiration to her vyzvanno it or this, t. To. It will not be necessary to test itself that that at me is not present... (experience at me is not present).
Here such foolish history from which I vylesti cannot, and the main thing I understand that 90 percent or interests of that that I think, only my delirium (!)...
What to do or make I do not know further, t. To. Study has stopped, constantly I think of her and this situation.... - to me all is already peer to mine, whom she to me will be, if only though, as though viditsja time. .da though once a month.
All the extremity or end.
PS so it is strange, but if it would happen with my friend I probably has burst out laughing and has calmed it or him kak-that..... Myself I cannot precisely calm that.
And the last, seems to me, that a unique output or exit from this situation - suicide. Still never was such reason (me) that it to justify... Others problemmy simply trifle.
(Up to it or her at me whom nebylo, and and now she still mine)... Should tell or say still, that when I have seen it or her, firstly, as always did not believe " in success ", but all I now cannot peerly leave this all as is. My friends unanimously speak me of type: it or she too has a choice; not destiny and so forth things... Which obviously do not console me. So it is silly, I cannot become with her the friend at all (if such in general there is), BUT the MOST IMPORTANT THAT THAT she WISHES TO HAVE the FRIEND, I from it or her heard it. I do not wish to delirate here about "inferiority", t. To. It is assured or confident, that even if I would be above it or her on 5 - all peerly anything would not leave. All I can not any more, money for visiting of the psychiatrist at me now is not present, yes at it or him and not marriage office... About hurting feelings I already know all this theory, but it is besides better to not become. I now cannot present myself, that in a month (for example) I in kogoto still an occurring... (time certainly treats, but...)
WHY so when the girl without the guy and all peerly nothing leaves, as at others, just such which I wear out in bed and throw. Just such she does not want. Here it is necessary to tell or say that she adheres old to tradition and it or her it is forbidden (?) zanimatjas by sex before wedding. I have firstly thought that my aspiration to her vyzvanno it or this, t. To. It will not be necessary to test itself that that at me is not present... (experience at me is not present).
Here such foolish history from which I vylesti cannot, and the main thing I understand that 90 percent or interests of that that I think, only my delirium (!)...
What to do or make I do not know further, t. To. Study has stopped, constantly I think of her and this situation.... - to me all is already peer to mine, whom she to me will be, if only though, as though viditsja time. .da though once a month.
All the extremity or end.
PS so it is strange, but if it would happen with my friend I probably has burst out laughing and has calmed it or him kak-that..... Myself I cannot precisely calm that.
And the last, seems to me, that a unique output or exit from this situation - suicide. Still never was such reason (me) that it to justify... Others problemmy simply trifle.