The dear doctor! To me of 50 years. At me the strongest intolerance of loneliness...

[Vlad]

The dear doctor! To me of 50 years. At me the strongest intolerance of loneliness. The loneliness will simply paralyse or paralyzes simply will, plunges into depression and gives feeling of alarm, a sleeplessness. Many years one is compelled or forced to live - zarubezhom, dissolved. In the childhood I have been strongly injured emotionally - mother hated me, regretted that I was born, humiliated, offended and was distressed what not udushila in infancy. Native was not nearby, not to that there was to intercede, tell or say a kind word. Except for an intolerance of loneliness - impulsiveness, a sleeplessness, suicidal ideas. Was at prihoterapevtov, psychiatrists, accepted antidepressants - nothing helps or assists. Now to me have advised to go to group of 12 steps for Adult Children from Unsuccessful children. I go, but does not help or assist - there the main subject - to measure in the Maximum or Supreme Force. And I am an atheist. To return to Russia, but I on have grown with relatives - saw them all time 4 in zhiani, and they especially do not call. I am afraid that there too I shall alone sit at home. In a breast a cold and emptiness, alarm, grief. Advise - it is necessary to me to thrust to cousin that have taken to itself and a distance of sincere heat or in another way to avoid loneliness or to follow advice or council of inspectors, 12 steps " - to live alone and to go to group of support. They approve or confirm that I thus shall learn to be happy alone, BUT it is IMPOSSIBLE! It WOULD be desirable TO FALL AND CRY WITH DESPAIR!

[Illarion]

You reflected kogda-nibud on WHY you were not liked by mother? Whether its or her your grandmother liked!? Try to forgive or excuse in the beginning it or her, it is difficult, but necessary. __ " Blazhen who believes... " - without belief happy to be it is impossible. Whence to take trust to the world (this feeling and is a basis of happy consciousness)? I Think, you do not need to put at once such greater or big purposes. Understand, in the beginning all it is not necessary to believe in something, differently the person can live. It is considered, that the soul of the child itself chooses to itself parents. Means, the WAY of SUCH SUFFERINGS is necessary for YOU! For clearing soul. Therefore in the beginning you need to rethink the main values, differently you do not leave a vicious circle. Great artists in the creativity reflected on these subjects, find I.Bergman's film " the Strawberry glade ".

[Elena]

Try to live for and for the sake of someone: own family (still not late all to begin all over again) or help or assist another, ways great variety. Forget about the "I", that to someone something should you, give more and like also to you will return with toritsej. And the past really forget, forgive or excuse all who to you did or made painfully, it becomes much easier.

[The psychiatrist]

I am afraid, that with dvojurdnymi relatives to you also it will be difficult, as well as with other people. Before to move, it would be necessary to try to realize those opportunities which at you already are. The acuteness of your experiences speaks that, probably, you are close to fracture in your attitude or relation to a life and to another. Many people in your position search not there where it is necessary, and there, where svetlo. Business, obviously, not in people in whom you, most likely, are quickly disappointed, and - inside of you.

[Vlad]

Thanks for advice or councils. But I have nobody to live. Yes, I not in ladu with itself. But in 50 years it is difficult to re-educate itself, is more exact - it is impossible. In something to believe - yes. But in what? In the god I do not believe, in the future too - there anything good is not present for mena. I thought that relatives vsyo-taki with greater tolerance could concern to my emotional problems.

[The psychiatrist]

Vobshche-that does not suffice you of belief in, on = visible since the childhood.