PDA

Просмотр полной версии : Dear D.Gorbatov! Has read through your answer Malvine in occasion of "carry" and...



Sad_eyes
28.05.2004, 02:28
Dear D.Gorbatov! Has read through your answer Malvine in occasion of "carry" and poshu to help or assist me to understand one chronic problem...
Several years ago, when to me was 15, after suicidal attempt I was treated at the psychotherapist with whom we have quickly enough become friends iz-for the general or common interests: music, books, outlook, etc. Love as those was not, though as it seemed to me, my doctor even wanted, that she has appeared - probably, it could distract me from ideas on the person, iz-for which I tried to commit suicide.
We began to communicate enough often, later some months he have forbidden to me to name themselves its or his patient, preferring a capacious word "friend". It were very confidential attitudes or relations which have for a short while interrupted when I have moved to other city, but then we again began to see even raz-two in a month, to listen to a blues, to share everything, that occurs or happens in a life...
My former doctor who has become or begun despite of a difference in 13 years by the friend, never aspired to become me someone or someone else, and I did not think of it or this. And that neozhidanee was for me when after almost 4 years of our friendship he has wanted to become my lover, having learned or having found out, that I was going to to marry. I was in shkoe though kissed:-))) But to continue attitude or relation in this key did not become...
Has passed or Has taken place two more years, we communicate as friends though inside I had "emptiness" on a place of concept "friend". It was very complex or difficult to me to understand and accept, what for this (married) person so has unexpectedly turned our attitudes or relations in other party or side if up to that all was remarkable.
For me he remained the friend and the former doctor, but it is complex or difficult to me to understand: whether there was such attitude or relation to me at once? Whether he Hid it or him and if yes, what for? And whether there is a concept of "carry" concerning the doctor to the patient?
Has chaotically written, forgive or excuse...

Sad_eyes
28.05.2004, 09:23
P. S. Yes, and in marriage I then have not left...:-)

VitEk
29.05.2004, 17:15
Yes... Doctors too people...

Gorbatov.
30.05.2004, 17:51
Hello!
In any dialogue between two subjects always there is "carry" of various feelings against each other.
If to speak specially about a psychotherapy and a psychoanalysis, to carry of feelings of the patient (and it not always only the feeling of love) on the doctor, belongs a huge therapeutic role. Without the phenomena of carry, the psychotherapy remains fruitless and ineffective. The skilled or experienced, responsible or crucial and decent or considerable psychotherapist always uses the phenomena of carry on advantage or benefit of the patient, skilfully manipulating it or him, revealing or taping with its or his help the latent complexes and helping or assisting him (patient) them to resolve. The psychotherapist is always obliged to save the certain distance among themselves and the patient and never should abuse its or his feelings.
But the doctor - the usual person with own complexes and problems of the childhood, also transfers or carries on the patient the feelings and not only, love. This phenomenon is designated by the term "countercarry". And, from time to time thus, the doctor loses the control over the feelings, than puts or renders to the patient enormous harm. Sometimes during medical process of the phenomenon of carry and countercarry coincide and there is the present or true love, getting married creation of family. In this case harm for the patient does not exist.
For me clearly one, the doctors, not able to supervise the feelings and abusing trust of patients, should stop professionally be engaged in a psychotherapy.

Sad_eyes
30.05.2004, 23:52
Thanks for the detailed answer. One more specification and more one question.
I with you in many respects agree, but as to this case, I can note only, that from the friend I then did not resort to the psychotherapeutic help any more during couple of years, itself began to be interested in various directions of a psychotherapy more, than earlier... Discussed any cases its or his experts (in medical terms and t.). At present my knowledge in the field of the basic modern psychotherapeutic techniques and approaches help or assist me to understand disputed and complex or difficult situations.
Question following: whether there should be "discharged" attitudes or relations of the psychotherapist and with former patients, after course of treatment? In case dialogue goes already on "chelovechesokm" a level: acquaintance to family, informal attitudes or relations...

Gorbatov.
31.05.2004, 10:05
Question following: whether there should be "discharged" attitudes or relations of the psychotherapist and with former patients, after course of treatment? In case dialogue goes already on "chelovechesokm" a level: acquaintance to family, informal attitudes or relations...
I think, that under known circumstances, quite can.

Sad_eyes
31.05.2004, 15:42
Thanks, g-n Gorbatov - opinion of the expert was necessary as it is impossible by the way. I discussed this situation with the close friend, your colleague, and that has tried to pay my attention that any person can have desires and that, probably, my friend waited, while I "podrastu";-).
Once again I thank for your point of view:-).