Hello, my name is Andrey to me of 14 years. At me a problem, my father dovo...

[Andrey]

Hello, my name is Andrey to me of 14 years.
At me a problem, my father leads up my mum any humiliations after to mum in hospital have told or said, that at it or her constant depression iz-for the husband. Now I live with mum, and my father odelno from us. When conversation comes about their mutual relations or about carrying out of holidays with one of them, at me the mood - at the best at once spoils, and in the worst - I cease to supervise myself, and at me the hysterics begins.
Advise, please, as to me to supervise in such situations and as with these or it;this to consult.

[Lecha]

Zdorovio Andrucha ja ne znaju kak tebe pomoc no ty ne odin s takoj problemoj

[LiLu]

Greetings Andrey!
You already enough taki the adult person also should understand, that the life consists not only of holidays, but also from troubles too. Try obstragirovatsja from a situation and to not penetrate into problems of parents, these are their problems, keep in touch with both, but do not listen to their slanders against each other, be benevolent with both. Eventually darlings branjatsja only play, but at the some people it too far comes. Soon new year congratulate them and present them any darling pustjachyok for a two let be touched what son at them. Success.

[Ejpril]

Andrey, your support, instead of hysterics is necessary to your mum. And then, there is " a gold rule " - if cannot change situatsiju-change the attitude or relation to her. Your parents do not live together and it to the best now, try to understand and forgive or excuse their mistakes or errors, do not repeat them in attitudes or relations with others. Our life in many respects such by what we it or her do or make. Success.

[Nathalie]

Andrey, to me 32. Can, to you kak-that will help or assist to realize your today's situation a view on a problem of the adult person which has gone through it approximately at your age.
Then, for a long time, iz-for constant conflicts and divorce of parents there was the sensation of strong mental anguish often not realized or realized only partially. Probably, in behaviour it was shown - to a miscellaneous, including in the form of as you were expressed, "hysterics" if " have pressed a sore point ". Physically it also skazavalos: in the form of frequent colds and sharp deterioration of vision (which, fortunately, then it managed to be restored).
Very much I regret, that there was nobody to render in time the psychological help in that situation - many questions in the further life would be solved easier i/or is faster.
Intolerably painfully, when parents, from a flesh and a blood of each of which you half consist, start to be at enmity, it is perceived as a unnatural status. It contradicts representation about the family as about community of those who each other likes, cares and helps or assists. Besides that you suffer from conflicts, you feel a pain when to painfully liked people, there is one more "aggravating" circumstance: at children's and teenage age people are arranged so, that UNCONSCIOUSLY feel guilty in the conflict of parents. So during this period of a life the mentality functions. Sometimes children try to reconcile the parents, sometimes side with one of them, testing enmity to another. Sometimes insults, experiences, suffering iz-for developed situations are transformed and shown in the form of hysterics, aggression, physical diseases. It is normal, usual reaction to our situation.
Later I am a lot of years was asked by a question what could to me then to facilitate reaction to the circumstances which have developed in family what it is necessary to know and how to behave, to reduce suffering, to facilitate forms of its or his display and to minimize consequences?
1) Precise comprehension of that faults of the child in the conflict of parents NEVER EXISTS in a reality.
2) It is the conflict 2 h the adult people connected with each other by long-term attitudes or relations. The behaviour of the third party (even such important and liked for each of them - their child) cannot render essential influence on the real attitude or relation of spouses to each other. Attitudes or relations of parents will develop under their script. Correction of attitudes or relations - business of the family psychologist.
3) Each parent ALWAYS likes the child, because this natural status of the parent (irrespective of the form of display of this love, from perception of these displays by the child, from attitudes or relations with other spouse).
4) the Child (in relation to parents we are children during all our life) in soul or douche ALWAYS likes both parents and requires their love. Even if, as reaction to a situation, was showed aggression, in its or her basis - need in parent love, the pavor to lose it or her.
5) Attitudes or Relations of spouses - a uneasy thing. Love between the people who have been not connected by a consanguineous relation, - too. Often iz-for inabilities to communicate with each other, iz-for mutual put or rendered each other insults, iz-for echoes transferred or carried to the childhood each of them of spiritual wounds, between people liking each other are established or installed "urodskie" attitudes or relations. Sometimes these attitudes or relations kill love, and sometimes she " becomes the invalid ", but survives. She, as well as people, has the face, unfortunately, not always perfect. Sometimes the love accepts strange appearance, but it is love. And in a basis "urodskih" attitudes or relations she can lay (primer-experience of some my familiar families and, unfortunately, my parents: I remember their dreadful attitudes or relations, divorce, travel, then dialogue " as friends " - that in representation of the teenager was a nonsense... Comprehension, what is it vse-taki there was a love and ja-a fetus of their Love, instead of antagonism, has come pozdno-the daddy died. Mum looked after it or him during its or his illness or disease, then he died in hospital. I remember its or his face at occurrence of mother in a floor or field of its or his vision - the face of the happy person. He has died, having had time to confess as the Christian, on arms or hand at my mother, under chitamuju me, under the reference of the priest, othodnuju a pray, with the last "Amin", it was not terrible to him to die. Mum after its or his mors has said a phrase: " As though from me have taken away one wing and I cannot fly ". Year she mourned over the father. The child and the teenager I COULD not assume, looking at their family attitudes or relations, that they like each other. The life has shown, what is it so, and I years suffered from "urodskih" attitudes or relations of my parents).
Darling Andrey! Unfortunately, any child not zastrahovan from that situation which we know. Nobody can tell or say, how attitudes or relations of your parents will develop. It is a usual adult life in which not only " eternal summer " and holidays, but kindly and angrily, often one is inseparable from another where the pain helps or assists to estimate or appreciate - to the present pleasure and kindly, reminds, that we are alive, that we have a soul, and the soul is alive love because the love is a God who such has created us, that except for a daily bread the person requires love and suffers, when it or her lacks.
Give the God to you and your parents in New to year of love, health, happiness, comprehension! As though I wanted, that though chut-hardly to you it became easier! Happiness to you, the darling.