Hello. We have met 11 years ago, from them 3 years met, 2...

[Tanja]

Hello. We have met 11 years ago, from them 3 years met, 2 lived together, and more 6 are married. We have a child of 3 years. The husband liked me - to the madman in the first years and jealous improbably. Now he has already a little calmed down, but all the same continues to like. I in relation to it or him;them had inflow and otlivy, sometimes love, sometimes indifference, but very strong love to it or him;them I never tested. Eto so, the foreword.

Now a problem. One year ago we immigrated to America, we live in small enough city. I, as soon as have got the sanction to job, was arranged to work as the programmer, I receive the good salary. The husband too searches for job on programming, but cannot find, as English unimportant or $not very well is not enough years of experience, and. Unsuccessful searches proceed 9 months, and the husband has run into depression. Speaks, that has already lost hope kogda-or to find job that it was not necessary to leave, etc. I in turn to leave I do not want, and I try to explain to him, that all this time or temporary difficulties, and emigrants through it pass or take place all. The situation is aggravated with that he has again started me to be jealous, as I zhenshina attractive, every day I leave on job, and he remains at home, and it or he had a uncertainty in, is afraid, that I shall find someone - better and I shall leave from it or him.
Tried to persuade it or him to talk to the psychologist, but he does not believe, that the psychologist can something help or assist him, speaks: " That, he to me will find job? ".

And now the present or true problem. I for a long time any more do not feel, that I like the husband. Once I already tried to leave from it or him, but he has persuaded me to remain. In obshchem-that he the person good, me with it or him is quiet, but the love is not present, and to talk to us for a long time there is nothing. And to all to it or this its or his disability something is added is achieved in a life. I all time dragged it or him behind myself, I have forced it or him to go to study, I have fixed  up for a job it or him (on native land or Rhodinum), I solve all the important questions in family. And I from it or this am tired. I want chustvovat the Man near to myself. But if I now shall throw it or him, it will turn out that are necessary to me from it or him only money, and it not so, my salary suffices us, I was simply bothered with its or his disability to operate or work and incur the responsibility for family.

I do not know, that to me to do or make. On the one hand, me it will be very serious one, I do not have here relatives, it is nobody me even one will talk, and in the household plan, to the child, I even am not able to hammer in a nail. And on the other hand, I all time live with feeling, that marriage or spoilage this temporary, that all the same will come or step the moment when we shall divorce, whether so is better to make it now while I am rather young (to me 29) while we have not got or started still children. But I am afraid to make a mistake or an error. And I am afraid, that he without me absolutely will be gone, especially now, when at it or him depression. Advise.

[Lora]

Darling Tanjushka! From your sincere cry that you DO NOT LIKE is felt only! BUT... Knowing and feeling emigration neponaslyshke, I wish to tell or say to you, what is it will be TREACHERY of you! Wait while the husband will get a job, and then solve that it would be desirable. He that drinks, beats, offends, does not understand? NO! Likes in fact and as it is possible to leave now it or him one, in the another's country, reshenie-that accepted together so think, that there will be in the father of your child if do not understand, that you now for it or him a sparkle of hope which he breathes. ostasja odnoj-too not the best output or exit, be for it or him the friend, a leg, never emphasize, that you earn and feed family. Understand, dear or expensive Tanja, the life so is complex or difficult and can happen such, that he will bring the good capital in family, whether and you will work a little for what reason. Be the native and close, sincerely understanding person for the one who likes you. Will pass or take place vermja and you will understand much. I wish good luck and all the best:))))

[Dana]

ne znaju, nado konechno smotretj, naskoljko on horosh kak celovek. no jesli cuvstvujete, cto zizni ne budet, to zacem tjanutj vremja>? eto ze i vasha ziznj i rebenok rastet. sejcas budet legce razojtisj, cem kogda budut jesco deti ili podrastet etot malish i budet jesco siljnej privjazan k pape. dumajte sami, no nikogda ne bojtesj togo, chto nekomu gvozdj budet zabitj... budet komu, poverjte... ja toze polgoda, kak razvelasj s ljubimim muzem... i rada, chto smogla. i pojavilsja celovek, prosto novij znakomij, kotorij sam predlozil pomoch sdelatj remont... a eto ne toljko gvozdj. derzitesj i budjte siljnoj... .udaci.

[Tanja]

I would like to hear opinion of the psychologist if it is possible. Yes, I understand what to divorce now is a treachery. But right now I could be typed or collected boldness and make it as there is a pretext, for me most. Because when it's OK, problems are not present, I cannot take and divorce simply so, on an equal place. In fact we do not swear, we live peacefully so that still it is necessary for me?
To me with it or him it is not good and it is not bad, me with it or him in any way. Sometimes I come from job and I am pleased: I have job, the house, the husband, the child, what eshe is necessary for happiness? And sometimes I start to think that years I live without love, and I do not wish to live so all life. How to me to make a decision?

[Rolling]

Yes. A situation complex or difficult enough. But now the husband to throw it is not necessary, wait when he will rise on legs or foots. And that can be gone. And you will meet the destiny and so, is not dependent you awake one or not. At me the friend, here so has regretted the husband, though at it or him mater. Problems was not, and is not has left to the liked person. In current of long years with it or him it meets and broken off or it meets and lacerated on 2 fronts. Yes, a life a complex or difficult piece.

[The anonym]

Tanja and if the love NEVER will come, it or danojulibo is not present.........

[The anonym]

Here very clever and competent psychologist and too the woman, it is doubtful, that you will hear the approving answer from it or her:)

[Natalia - Tana]

My girlfriend had a similar situation. Let your husband does not choose from jobs, and is arranged on such on what it or him will take. Though at office of a hole in papers to pierce and file documents! Or sandwiches to do or make. Will not pay for such job much, but he though will tighten tongue and will get out of depression. And to you most it or he should be supported or maintained. Present, here will throw it or him and when at the most similar the situation will arise also you the liked person will leave, how you will feel yourselves? And the father is necessary to your child. The family is not only madnesses in bed, and still support and mutual aid that does not suffice your husband. Actually, eto-that also is love. Success!