Ah, these men...
07.05.2004, 13:27
I have got or started to myself the man. For the first time in a life. At all my girlfriends they already were, and I kak-that managed. No, certainly, familiar men at me at various times were, but all of them existed outside of limits of my apartment, appearing in her only incidentally. But here once...
In the morning I have entered into a toilet and have seen, that the seat of a toilet bowl is lifted. So the new age of my life has begun. In the house has lodged the man. Though all over again I thought, he will not get accustomed: they whimsical...
First of all he has declared, that time we have decided to live together to use a condom now simply inhumanely. However, has not specified - - in relation to itself. Three variants arose. Liked, similar, he interested only one. It did not arrange me. I have accused it or him of egoism and carelessness. He has advised to buy or purchase the vibrator. I have reminded, that we live during an epoch of AIDS. He has told or said, that he not such. I have twisted a finger at a temple. He has pushed ties in a suitcase. I have crookedly smiled. He has slapped a door. I have recoloured hair.
He has opened the key. - - hardly was in time before closing a drugstore. Here, - - has stretched thin packing. - - and unless you were red?.. So, we began to live together. Coming back in the evening home, I any more was not frightened, if saw in own windows light. And any more did not speak in a telephone tube: " you not there have got " if someone said its or his name. To all other my pillow pahla its or his cologne. The beloved snored at night, pulled on itself a blanket - - the blanket fell on a floor. Neither nor people... He read in a toilet to Marinin, and then shouted in a cleft or rima: - - the Paper! - - pull out the first chapter or head! And that I more in the house did not see this rubbish!..
And on a visit he quoted the Edging. And daily came to a cat on a tail and daily assured, what is it unintentionally. Learned or taught me to be guided on stars, otvazhival from the house of my girlfriends. Zachem-that has presented me an inflatable boat, quailed before my mum: - - Svetlana Alekseevna... - - Svetlana Aleksandrovna, - - again hmurilas mum.
He awoke me at night with kisses, washing, sniffed. Zabryzgival a mirror in a bathing tooth-paste, gave me a strawberry in the winter. More shortly, he was irresistable.
In my house have appeared the musical center and dumbbells. Music sounded all day long. Dumbbells stayed idle. Vacuuming a carpet, I had to rearrange each time them from a place on a place. Visitors have constantly come across them. Neigbour Katya has told or said, that " these or it zhelezjaki " spoil an aesthetic kind of a drawing room. Not having sustained, I have suggested to clean or remove this fallichesky a symbol in kladovku. Liked has blazed with just anger. Has reminded, that the sound mind happens only in a sound body. And in general he, appears, has already looked after a suitable bar in "Sporttovarah". - - the Biceps should be pumped over... - - he has confidentially informed me.
But now I near at hand always had a foam for shaving. Besides I could participate fully in conversations of girlfriends on a subject " And moj-that yesterday ":) till the morning played computer games, all the day has lain under machine or car, has eaten a week stock of cutlets, has broken a cup and has replaced fused bulb, again smoked in a toilet, has told or said, that serials otupljajut, the isolation ward all the evening long looked, has hidden my telephone book... The swine and krovopijtsa. To put it briefly, joint residing with the man brought mass of opening. Pleasant and not so.
Opening the first: he - - is.
Opening the second: he constantly wished to eat!
Coffee and mandarinka for a breakfast did not arrange it or him. In the house there were nenavidimye me before products: a butter, bacon, Saccharum, vodka, macaroni. The rating of mayonnaise has flied up up to heavens. In female magazines I began to pay attention to culinary prescriptions. And an eternal question " What to make for a supper? " Tormented me more purely or cleanly gamletovskogo. I flew into a rage. I am unceasing something fried, cooked, rubbed and tried or tasted. I have recovered on three kilo. Liked has been tightened, oars and it is always ready to reception of nutrition. When he with a phrase " At us is something vkusnenkoe? " Climbed in a refrigeration cabinet in five minutes after a dinner, I would like to give him behind a kick! And to slam a door. I began to dream, that on counters of shops there were packages with an inscription: " Meal man's. 10 kg ". Has bought or purchased - - and day it is free...
Opening the third: he hid socks.
I hope, what not from me. That he wore them, certainly, was not for me secret. Light of my eyes never wound legs or foots portjankami and did not go barefoot. He used tekstilno-chulochnymi the blessings of a civilization, but... Having come from job, he first of all tried to discover places more secludedly and there as burunduchok a grist, hid them, preliminary having curtailed or turned in the form of compact zagogulinok. And any suggestions these "cochleas" even in a bathroom could not force to carry it or him. With maniacal persistence I the man parked socks under a sofa, under an armchair and, similar, was ready to tear off a plinth, that there shoronit the treasures.
Opening the fourth: he made the will each time when it or he was hurted or was ill;was sick with a tooth or the rhinitis began.
He groaned and ohal, as the wounded man a bison. He choked at a word "out-patient department" and appealed to my mercy. Demanded to finish it or him, to relieve of inhuman sufferings. Holding me for an arm or a hand, he nobly advised before sale to paint old "Opel". And, as present or true the man, constraining sobbings on mortal odre, said goodbye to darlings to its or his heart things: musical disks, a mobile phone and the newspaper " Sport-the express ".
Opening the fifth: he was able to be silent.
He could stay for the whole evening in front of the screen of the TV and not utter thus words. Give him will - - he knowing two tongues and having higher education, would limit dialogue with me to three phrases: " Good morning, dear or expensive ", " That at us for a supper, liked? " And " go to me... " For the sake of justice it is necessary to note, that its or his dialogue with mum or telephone conversations with friends too did not differ special eloquence. And its or his mutual relations with the best friend were under construction on joint viewing of football matches and pronouncing of capacious comments: - - the Pass! The pass, I has told or said!.. Nu-at govnjuk!.. To twist, give some beer...
Opening the sixth: being able to be silent, he did not bear or take out silence.
I and have not solved this paradox. Not only that to the musical center he touched more often, than me, - - he practically never departed from the TV, switching channels with rate of light. From the beginning up to the extremity or end my liked looked only news and sports transfers. All rest of the time he clicked the board. Pictures in the TV flashed, as in a terrible kaleidoscope. At me the head was turned. And upasi My God to become on a line between it or him and the TV. The sharp diplomatic demarche there and then followed: - - Leave from the screen!
Opening the seventh: he zealously protected the territory.
As its or his possession were considered: a place behind a table - - time and a liked armchair - - two. Even visitors could not sit down on its or his stool in kitchen or cuisine. And the poor cat a bullet took off from a soft armchair, hardly having caught the friend serious postup.
I did not break borders. The female intuition prompted me, that it is better to not encroach on a man's throne, its or his sacred mug and majestic slippers. But it is possible to hide hated dumbbells. Or even to hand over them in scrap metal - - my precious sportsman loss hardly will notice.
Opening the eighth: supervision and the control.
- - You with whom it spoke by phone?.. Who this ochkarik in a photo?.. You where were from four up to five?.. Whence at you these ear rings?.. - - with the girlfriend. My brother. In a hairdressing salon. You have presented...
Opening the ninth: I could not lay hours per a fragrant bath any more.
I devjanostokilogrammovyj zajchik tried to break in a premise or room. That the tooth-brush was urgently necessary to him. That was emergency necessity to examine two months the current cock. That it interested, whether he will be located series with me and how much waters will supersede thus our bodies under law Arhimeda. That to him was simple it is boring to one, and he poskulival under a door, appealing to my conscience: - - I suffer from absence of dialogue! But it was necessary to me to leave - - the sufferer there and then udovletvorenno came back to the armchair. - - hey, and how law Arhimeda? - - I asked. - - douche I shall accept, - - the darling and utykalsja a nose in the newspaper informed.
Opening the tenth: at it or him the bristle grew.
She grew, certainly, and up to ours, we shall tell or say is old-fashioned, cohabitations. But earlier on appointments my hero came smoothly shaved, and now I observed it or him almost round the clock... At me the skin on the face has started to be shelled.
Opening the eleventh: he did not remember our celebratory dates!!!
Absolutely. An amnesia. Selective memory blackouts. He remembered day of a capture of the Bastile, day of checkup and day of own leaving or care in army, but date of my birth could not be fixed in any way in one of its or his hemispheres. However, he would pass or miss even New year, if not a ubiquitous or universal agiotage. - - in streets there were aunts with fur-trees. It is time to buy or purchase a champagne, - - he did or made thoughtful conclusions.
Opening the twelfth: he has appeared is terribly impractical.
He was not able to plan our budget. Having left behind meal, brought five bottles of beer, a bag of chips and stakanchik ice-cream. Hesitated to take delivery. In the market was not able to bargain. Bought everything, that vparivali to him cunning babusi. And once instead of a potato has brought roses. I only have sighed. - - I like you, - - he has told or said, stretching flowers.
Opening the twelfth and a half: he likes me...
In general, the life with the man - is as game in a chess. The continuous blitz with not quite clear rules.
- - So the horse does not go.
- - Glupenkaja... And how, - to yours, the horse goes?
- - the Letter "Gy"...
- Is let the neighbour the letter "Gy" goes. And I shall go here so...
- - With what it is pores new rules?
- - Since the last minute... I have told or said. Go, liked...
In the morning I have entered into a toilet and have seen, that the seat of a toilet bowl is lifted. So the new age of my life has begun. In the house has lodged the man. Though all over again I thought, he will not get accustomed: they whimsical...
First of all he has declared, that time we have decided to live together to use a condom now simply inhumanely. However, has not specified - - in relation to itself. Three variants arose. Liked, similar, he interested only one. It did not arrange me. I have accused it or him of egoism and carelessness. He has advised to buy or purchase the vibrator. I have reminded, that we live during an epoch of AIDS. He has told or said, that he not such. I have twisted a finger at a temple. He has pushed ties in a suitcase. I have crookedly smiled. He has slapped a door. I have recoloured hair.
He has opened the key. - - hardly was in time before closing a drugstore. Here, - - has stretched thin packing. - - and unless you were red?.. So, we began to live together. Coming back in the evening home, I any more was not frightened, if saw in own windows light. And any more did not speak in a telephone tube: " you not there have got " if someone said its or his name. To all other my pillow pahla its or his cologne. The beloved snored at night, pulled on itself a blanket - - the blanket fell on a floor. Neither nor people... He read in a toilet to Marinin, and then shouted in a cleft or rima: - - the Paper! - - pull out the first chapter or head! And that I more in the house did not see this rubbish!..
And on a visit he quoted the Edging. And daily came to a cat on a tail and daily assured, what is it unintentionally. Learned or taught me to be guided on stars, otvazhival from the house of my girlfriends. Zachem-that has presented me an inflatable boat, quailed before my mum: - - Svetlana Alekseevna... - - Svetlana Aleksandrovna, - - again hmurilas mum.
He awoke me at night with kisses, washing, sniffed. Zabryzgival a mirror in a bathing tooth-paste, gave me a strawberry in the winter. More shortly, he was irresistable.
In my house have appeared the musical center and dumbbells. Music sounded all day long. Dumbbells stayed idle. Vacuuming a carpet, I had to rearrange each time them from a place on a place. Visitors have constantly come across them. Neigbour Katya has told or said, that " these or it zhelezjaki " spoil an aesthetic kind of a drawing room. Not having sustained, I have suggested to clean or remove this fallichesky a symbol in kladovku. Liked has blazed with just anger. Has reminded, that the sound mind happens only in a sound body. And in general he, appears, has already looked after a suitable bar in "Sporttovarah". - - the Biceps should be pumped over... - - he has confidentially informed me.
But now I near at hand always had a foam for shaving. Besides I could participate fully in conversations of girlfriends on a subject " And moj-that yesterday ":) till the morning played computer games, all the day has lain under machine or car, has eaten a week stock of cutlets, has broken a cup and has replaced fused bulb, again smoked in a toilet, has told or said, that serials otupljajut, the isolation ward all the evening long looked, has hidden my telephone book... The swine and krovopijtsa. To put it briefly, joint residing with the man brought mass of opening. Pleasant and not so.
Opening the first: he - - is.
Opening the second: he constantly wished to eat!
Coffee and mandarinka for a breakfast did not arrange it or him. In the house there were nenavidimye me before products: a butter, bacon, Saccharum, vodka, macaroni. The rating of mayonnaise has flied up up to heavens. In female magazines I began to pay attention to culinary prescriptions. And an eternal question " What to make for a supper? " Tormented me more purely or cleanly gamletovskogo. I flew into a rage. I am unceasing something fried, cooked, rubbed and tried or tasted. I have recovered on three kilo. Liked has been tightened, oars and it is always ready to reception of nutrition. When he with a phrase " At us is something vkusnenkoe? " Climbed in a refrigeration cabinet in five minutes after a dinner, I would like to give him behind a kick! And to slam a door. I began to dream, that on counters of shops there were packages with an inscription: " Meal man's. 10 kg ". Has bought or purchased - - and day it is free...
Opening the third: he hid socks.
I hope, what not from me. That he wore them, certainly, was not for me secret. Light of my eyes never wound legs or foots portjankami and did not go barefoot. He used tekstilno-chulochnymi the blessings of a civilization, but... Having come from job, he first of all tried to discover places more secludedly and there as burunduchok a grist, hid them, preliminary having curtailed or turned in the form of compact zagogulinok. And any suggestions these "cochleas" even in a bathroom could not force to carry it or him. With maniacal persistence I the man parked socks under a sofa, under an armchair and, similar, was ready to tear off a plinth, that there shoronit the treasures.
Opening the fourth: he made the will each time when it or he was hurted or was ill;was sick with a tooth or the rhinitis began.
He groaned and ohal, as the wounded man a bison. He choked at a word "out-patient department" and appealed to my mercy. Demanded to finish it or him, to relieve of inhuman sufferings. Holding me for an arm or a hand, he nobly advised before sale to paint old "Opel". And, as present or true the man, constraining sobbings on mortal odre, said goodbye to darlings to its or his heart things: musical disks, a mobile phone and the newspaper " Sport-the express ".
Opening the fifth: he was able to be silent.
He could stay for the whole evening in front of the screen of the TV and not utter thus words. Give him will - - he knowing two tongues and having higher education, would limit dialogue with me to three phrases: " Good morning, dear or expensive ", " That at us for a supper, liked? " And " go to me... " For the sake of justice it is necessary to note, that its or his dialogue with mum or telephone conversations with friends too did not differ special eloquence. And its or his mutual relations with the best friend were under construction on joint viewing of football matches and pronouncing of capacious comments: - - the Pass! The pass, I has told or said!.. Nu-at govnjuk!.. To twist, give some beer...
Opening the sixth: being able to be silent, he did not bear or take out silence.
I and have not solved this paradox. Not only that to the musical center he touched more often, than me, - - he practically never departed from the TV, switching channels with rate of light. From the beginning up to the extremity or end my liked looked only news and sports transfers. All rest of the time he clicked the board. Pictures in the TV flashed, as in a terrible kaleidoscope. At me the head was turned. And upasi My God to become on a line between it or him and the TV. The sharp diplomatic demarche there and then followed: - - Leave from the screen!
Opening the seventh: he zealously protected the territory.
As its or his possession were considered: a place behind a table - - time and a liked armchair - - two. Even visitors could not sit down on its or his stool in kitchen or cuisine. And the poor cat a bullet took off from a soft armchair, hardly having caught the friend serious postup.
I did not break borders. The female intuition prompted me, that it is better to not encroach on a man's throne, its or his sacred mug and majestic slippers. But it is possible to hide hated dumbbells. Or even to hand over them in scrap metal - - my precious sportsman loss hardly will notice.
Opening the eighth: supervision and the control.
- - You with whom it spoke by phone?.. Who this ochkarik in a photo?.. You where were from four up to five?.. Whence at you these ear rings?.. - - with the girlfriend. My brother. In a hairdressing salon. You have presented...
Opening the ninth: I could not lay hours per a fragrant bath any more.
I devjanostokilogrammovyj zajchik tried to break in a premise or room. That the tooth-brush was urgently necessary to him. That was emergency necessity to examine two months the current cock. That it interested, whether he will be located series with me and how much waters will supersede thus our bodies under law Arhimeda. That to him was simple it is boring to one, and he poskulival under a door, appealing to my conscience: - - I suffer from absence of dialogue! But it was necessary to me to leave - - the sufferer there and then udovletvorenno came back to the armchair. - - hey, and how law Arhimeda? - - I asked. - - douche I shall accept, - - the darling and utykalsja a nose in the newspaper informed.
Opening the tenth: at it or him the bristle grew.
She grew, certainly, and up to ours, we shall tell or say is old-fashioned, cohabitations. But earlier on appointments my hero came smoothly shaved, and now I observed it or him almost round the clock... At me the skin on the face has started to be shelled.
Opening the eleventh: he did not remember our celebratory dates!!!
Absolutely. An amnesia. Selective memory blackouts. He remembered day of a capture of the Bastile, day of checkup and day of own leaving or care in army, but date of my birth could not be fixed in any way in one of its or his hemispheres. However, he would pass or miss even New year, if not a ubiquitous or universal agiotage. - - in streets there were aunts with fur-trees. It is time to buy or purchase a champagne, - - he did or made thoughtful conclusions.
Opening the twelfth: he has appeared is terribly impractical.
He was not able to plan our budget. Having left behind meal, brought five bottles of beer, a bag of chips and stakanchik ice-cream. Hesitated to take delivery. In the market was not able to bargain. Bought everything, that vparivali to him cunning babusi. And once instead of a potato has brought roses. I only have sighed. - - I like you, - - he has told or said, stretching flowers.
Opening the twelfth and a half: he likes me...
In general, the life with the man - is as game in a chess. The continuous blitz with not quite clear rules.
- - So the horse does not go.
- - Glupenkaja... And how, - to yours, the horse goes?
- - the Letter "Gy"...
- Is let the neighbour the letter "Gy" goes. And I shall go here so...
- - With what it is pores new rules?
- - Since the last minute... I have told or said. Go, liked...