Good afternoon. At me such question. My daughter (2, 9) simply adores the grandmother (...

[Tanja]

Good afternoon. At me such question. My daughter (2, 9) simply adores the grandmother (mother-in-law). We live literally through the house. She constantly mutters ba-ba ba-ba. If I for something start to swear on it or her she at once the WOMAN shouts menacing voice as though you warn me not so the WOMAN . First this love between them pleased me t. To me it was possible kuda-to go or descend or go that on a visit. But now I start to be jealous strongly. The daughter can promise that will not leave to the woman and will not leave me one, but it is necessary to come to the grandmother and to tell or say we shall go to us? As she forgets all and as though I did not ask it or her to remain anything to me she does not help or assist all the same will leave to the grandmother. To me it is insulting up to tears. I understand a little, I try to bring up it or her naturally something I forbid for something I abuse, and the grandmother resolves literally all no trouble does not abuse, and happens even that she frightens of its or her mum. Mothers-in-law something is useless to speak she considers or counts what to abuse to shout it is impossible to forbid in general and even if and that not is possible for her. Naturally daughters there it is simple as in paradise. Mum on 2 a place, if not on 3 turns out. I already try to create takujuzhe an atmosphere, as well as there but in fact so too it should is impossible in fact to respect she with me. I can exaggerate but I am am enraged with it, to tell or say I there is nothing I can not make too. Though leave for a month. I respect, the mother-in-law and I know the unique grand daughter for it or her this all. But how to me? And that the most insulting the mother-in-law me at all is not listened yes by me young, but silly she considers or counts all my education correct it is impossible to make cry!!!!! It is impossible to punish!!! To resolve all is necessary!!........ Even for it or her an empty place -it not its or his children here he also writes Spock's examples that thinks start up above the scoffs . At as to me was what do or make I cannot to wait while to her will be 10 and she will understand that mum young it abruptly, and the grandmother old and ..

[Creambird]

C one party or side a situation when members of family bring up the child - to a miscellaneous (mum of the child abuses for one action, and the grandmother - is not present) it is valid can to affect or have an effect negatively mentality of the child (especially at the child with weak, unstable n/). But on the other hand the mentality of the child is flexible or floppy enough to learn to build behaviour with the grandmother and mum - to a miscellaneous, moreover, the situation can even promote development of mentality. In other words all zavist from psychological features of the child. In your jealousy I fine understand you - my son too very much likes the grandmother. But will agree are different things - in conversation on jealousy a problem in you, instead of in the child. The technique of education of your mother-in-law has the right to existence, it seems to me, is better all taki to recognize it. To protect the child from dialogue with the person which the child likes, my opinion - it is wrong. It is possible to reach or achieve return result. On the other hand, your mother-in-law also behaves incorrectly, challenging your educational positions. The most constructive decision in this case to discuss with the mother-in-law, together with the husband, to tell easy in what you see a problem and to try to come to the compromise.

[Goldberg I.I.]

It agree with many positions in the previous opinion, but I consider or count, it is necessary to understand more in detail. Here what aspects here it is hidden or latent or obviously are present: 1. Mamina the jealousy Is fair. Nevertheless at such small age - from different education, the flexible or floppy mentality of the child will really adapt:), but it will be (actually ALREADY is!) - skill and a bad habit TO MANIPULATE relatives, it already starts to turn out, t. To. Mum is compelled or forced "to compete" to the grandmother who is kinder! Manipulation - a dangerous piece, she provokes the child if is vo-t, to think only of the benefit. At you umnenkaja malyshka:), Though it is guilty, certainly, not she. 2. Important! It is possible and is necessary to spend with the grandmother conversation (all over again well to think, as how more tactfully to tell or say) on a subject of UNIFORM EDUCATION. And it is even more important - the intermediary should be EXCLUSIVELY its or her son. By the way, in any trenijah on any subjects. Because you will be wrong simply because " she to you not mother and you are biassed and captious ":) Only the husband. And you - if and to be present, not as the basic speaking, and as the party or side assenting the husband:). 3. It is necessary to discuss all: up to that if plans or an educational situation does not allow, she does not call the child to herself. That she accompanied not to her, and you, same is clear! Also - explain, that in yours education - is unacceptable (to do or make, eat, spoil, etc.), To the child of the FRAMEWORK, clearness that is possible and that is impossible - more important and more fine, than inconsistency, t. To. He does or makes a conclusion, what is it neprintsipialno! 4. To explain to the grandmother, that interdictions should be. And they should not humiliate or offend the child at all! It is not necessary rukoprikladstva or insulting nicknames, hysterical cries: enough quiet equal, but the confident voice forbidding to something - and certainly, explanations at a level of the child, why. 5. To understand, whether there is at your education other extreme measure opposite babushkinoj: whether always forbidding, you not simply show authority, and give reason? Whether show verbal or fiz. Aggressions? Whether not too criticize and reproach, even in trifles? Whether give her freedom, in t enough. Number to study on the mistakes or errors (to spill on itself to be soiled, etc.)? 6. And having understood, inform your principles up to the grandmother, having told or said, what you are confident them, what mothers start to bring up all, not having experience and a youth here there is nothing (means, and she the son at once it is wrong to bring up the beginnings?:)) and more. If she is going to to interfere with process of education, it is necessary to limit its or her dialogue with the grand daughter, but I hope, the grandmother to spite vrednichat will not be:) Success!

[Rita]

Good afternoon!
At me such question. At me 2 e children, to the boy almost 5, and daughters 10. On a kind normal children, but all business in them vzaimootnashenijah. The daughter, she on provah senior, tries to influence the son, where cry where a punch. She already greater or big, but I notice that she savershenno cannot something borrow or occupy herself. If the son is not present the house to her and "to play" not skem. Starts to loaf on the house or mum begins " play with me ", " mum I devchyonkam shall call? " . If they at home two it is constant in the house of quarrel and cries. Fight, swear. And that does not help or assist, as a cat with a dog. The son he is quieter, can play all the day one machines or cars or look books or " TO LEARN or TEACH LESSONS " (it I am engaged with it or him before school) we study to read and write. I always tried to concern to both children equally in fact and the daughter has gone to school being able already to read and write. I cannot understand, whence, at them so much hatred to each other. I like equally, I embrace equally, the whole it is identical. What is necessary, I do not know? I shall give an example: the daughter sat in a hall and watched TV. The son played to other bedroom with soft toys and with machines. Minutes through 10 daughter something slyshet from the next room, jumps up and with cry: " he has again seized my toys!!! " Rushes into a room where the son played. Fight begins. In 5 minutes in nervous exaltation children and I. I start to ask a daughter " that has occured or happened? " She responds that he has taken its or her toys. I speak, that no trouble have not occured or happened, that he will play and polozhet on a place, she in tears, and silly reproaches in my address begin. What do I do not like it or her, etc. Though thus I do not intercede for the son, and I ask the son to leave its or her toys in pokoi, on what I receive a question " why I cannot take these toys too? In fact she too takes my things? " I can not understand that has pushed the daughter to come off an armchair and to run in the next room. Really only iz-for toys? In fact she during this moment did not play with this toy THEY to her were not necessary!!