The dear doctor! Help or Assist to understand a following problem, please....

[Maria]

The dear doctor!
Help or Assist to understand a following problem, please. My daughter (12 years) constantly complains of weariness, all irritates it or her: people in the street, in transport (jumps out, having driven with the grandmother one stopping, go on foot - the blessing not so far, speaking that can go only by the machine or car...), Phone calls of girlfriends. To her very much often call and share the problems of the girlfriend, and she never will show them, that something is dissatisfied, talks to interest, and is then irritated, directly duplicity any. Speaks, that she would like to leave kuda-nibud for a silent place where anybody is not present, to see nobody and with anybody to not communicate. It has begun paralelno with employment or occupations at school, and more academic load is aggravated the more strongly, than. Though the girl she capable also has got used to study well, almost around perfectly but when there are any difficulties, at once passuet, starts to be nervous. Here any negative perception of all surrounding validity, depressive moods is added. In parallel she very easily and often catches a cold or chills, iz-for it or this passes or misses school much and feels constantly any delicacy. And this status already becomes chronic. For example, I suggest her to go on a vacation on base of rest, pobyt on fresh air, to distract, have a rest, and she does not want supposedly there there will be its or her girlfriend (and mine too). If to go, there where anybody is not present friends that with anybody to not communicate. To me it is not clear, What is it, a neurosis or any "complexes" of awkward age how you think? And as with it or this to struggle. Earlier we anywhere to doctors did not address.

[11]

Not similar on complexes of awkward age. Complexes or are or not.. Voz-but, they were always, and have now seemed? But we shall try to understand. The important things, like not having anything the general or common are listed: weariness, a frequent case rate (weak immunity), delicacy physical and an avoidance of dialogue, a human environment. The matter is that all these things nevertheless have koe-that the general or common. CHto-something takes away from the girl practically all nervous (so, and physical) energy, weakening or easying both immunity, and psychological reserves. What is it can be? For example, chronic uneasiness, if the child perfektsionalist (in rez-that constant necessities to justify expectation of parents, not so generous on compliments and praises, but exacting). It can be also sotsiofobicheskoe frustration when besides, to the person it seems, that all at it or him look, estimate or appreciate or criticize. It takes away so many forces, that he prefers to avoid society. And as though she has reacted to necessity of public performance or statement? postoralas to avoid?

[Maria]

Many thanks for the answer. You have very precisely noticed, and I suspect, that there are the factors which are taking away its or her all energy. Them, probably, a little. That seems to her that all look at it or her, estimate or appreciate or criticize are, certainly, is. She since the childhood possesses high self-conceit, she would like to be always better than others, and in all. I try to explain to her, what is it it is impossible, and that that in elementary grades was given easily, will be more difficultly and more difficultly (as to study) further. Besides enhanced attention to the appearance: for last year she has very much matured, boys began to pay attention - here again she should be as possible better and more beautifully. Opjat-taki it is necessary to explain all time, that all should be moderately and harmoniously and so forth and pr . But - to mine, the basic negative factor which is taking away from it or her all positive power is, unfortunately, its or her girlfriend. The girl very clever, with strong character, but bad and egoistichnaja, liking to rule, with absence of an elementary step. It is difficult to her to resist. Attitudes or relations at them psychologically enough complex or difficult, she to her is very adhered, on the one hand, and with another, that at times strongly irritates it or her, can make any muck (we shall tell or say, to those schoolmates who opposed it or her, did or made mistakes or errors in jobs that underestimated estimations, or hid things, textbooks). Thus she never admits in sodejannom and in any dispute will gain upwards even if you are right - in five minutes she will prove to you, that black this or thus white. It is very developed not on years. I Dasha understands this all, but what output or exit? Sharply tear with her attitudes or relations she cannot - is afraid, that that will take offence and will start to harm to her, and other such children with whom also it would be interesting, in a class, in its or her opinion, no. Likely, it is necessary to study kak-that to resist in such power "vampirism", to develop own forces and power, and kak-that on the sly to keep away from this friendship. Can, will advise, any ways?
And - to an occasion of public performances or statements - yes, it is not pleasant to her, will worry, but if it is very necessary, certainly, will act, however will voluntary not show the initiative - such character

[11]

Maria, thanks for detailed explanations. And about " it is necessary to study kak-that to resist in such power "vampirism", to develop own forces and power, and kak-that on the sly to keep away from this friendship. Can, will advise, any ways ", - 2 things shall tell or say. 1. The prescription also is simple and combined or complex;difficult simultaneously. Nothing happens casual: that occurs or happens - it is because the girl has given voz-t to it or this proizochti, to develop to such attitudes or relations. More precisely - has not given the necessary repulse. What does or makes its or her vulnerable? " Hole " in its or her psychological immunity, in protective forces of its or her soul (well and sled-but, and bodies, t. To. The soul and a body - is uniform). What is this a hole? Here to you its or her true name: a problem of adaptation, - simple "impracticality" by a life. Here this "hole" also gives "leak" - here and its or her energy without which she becomes more weak flows away and she is more vulnerable in every respect, iz-for all of it or this, most likely, very easily is exposed chuzhemu to influence. Here look narrowly at attitudes or relations of the daughter with this girlfriend: you will see - she is dependent in attitudes or relations, it not " friendship on peer ". The Another matter, that by your description, problems of the girl-friend much more more trudnopopravimy, but speech not about her and as from its or her influence to be protected and see - to the present of interesting children or guys around (under "interesting" your daughter now means absolutely other, rather than you think). And 2. If will decide, it is possible to spend your daughter graphological diagnostics (on handwriting), free of charge. If want, inform me on this address (having removed in the beginning blanks between letters): inessa999@hotmail. com