I wish to ask - whether it is possible to understand the father calling the son in cases, if nep...

[olesja]

I wish to ask - whether it is possible to understand the father calling the son in cases if the task if the boy cries not strongly having hit is not clear if offends 3 years or summer sister and t. Our daddy considers or counts item that will grow up the present the man. With the husband we have lived 13 years and this problem has appeared couple of years back - when the son has started to mature. I already told about our trouble - on January, 31st in February, 21st : 54 and 4 in 22 : 58. Very much I hope that will help or assist to make to me the correct decision! Thanks all!

[lekhasan]

To understand the father certainly it is possible, but is better to learn its or his more useful attitude or relation to failures of the child. Try to explain to the father on an example as he will feel itself(himself), if, hammering in a nail, will get to itself on a finger, and you will call it or him neumehoj, bezrukim. Most likely will respond " on, itself hammer ". The child so cannot respond, as parents for it or him - authority. Obzyvanie "beats" on a self-rating, it can as to motivate to change behaviour, to study, and to become the reason of many complexes in the future. It is necessary to learn or teach the child to overcome failures, changing the attitude or relation to them with negative on positive.

[ROLLING]

I

[Irina]

Olesya, I again write to you. Behaviour of the boy estesstvennoe for it or him (cry, upholding of the interests, misunderstanding of the task). That your husband does or makes. Speaking, that the son behaves not as the man, that he slyshet, is some kind of the equipments or installations as they proceed from the authoritative person can lead to a casting-off of the child itself, in fact. Thus, the criticism of the father is perceived by your child as the statement, " he - NOT the boy, NOT the man, he is a crybaby, a fool. .i t. d. The main condition education healthy rebenka-its or his this acceptance such what he is. Many fathers make a mistake or an error, trying to bring up the child as the man and receiving absolutely opposite result.... I here have still thought, can find the corresponding or meeting literature (on education) and to show your husband?
(On a mail I shall write later), yours faithfully

[olesja]

THANKS you for desire to help or assist! Unfortunately I already tried or tasted this all - studied or investigated psychology in institute and repeatedly tried to explain to the husband it or him nepravotu approximately as you advise. The husband basically agrees, that is wrong, but its or his endurance or quotation friends, he complexs suffice day on 2. It or he does not have at new friends. Externally he - lysevatyj, reddish (certainly it not the main thing in the man). But me by a youth tried obveshat complexes though me on a life fall asleep compliments (ja-the blonde with green eyes, high and harmonous). But I for a long time do not pay any attention to it and grinding in har-rov seemed to me is finished (we together 13 years)... The Son - my repetition and couple of years back husband was switched to it or him. He can call its or his woman and it still the most harmless... And I AM afraid TO GROW up the DEFECTIVE or INCOMPLETE DIFFIDENT PERSON! By the way - with a daughter 3 h years or summer while no problems arise. I shall be grateful for the answer!

[olesja]

IRINA, THANKS YOU BIG! I am am HELPED or ASSISTED very much by YOUR SUPPORT! In February to us to Riga there comes the good psychologist and the husband has agreed to descend or go to it or him;them on consultation. Intuitively I feel - that if the situation in our family will not change till the summer - that I shall be solved on divorce. The child should go to 2 class with normal mentality. My correct address - ernestikjana@mail. ru Once again thanks!

[dana]

VI ISKOLECHITE REBENKA!!! BROSAJTE MUZHA I POSVJATITE SEBJA DETJAM!!!

[Vick]

Before to make a decisive step - try to weigh all. Several years ago I too faced to a problem " to get divorced - to not get divorced ". On the one hand the husband (in my opinion) unduly pressed on the son, too strongly tried to bring up the man. Were and obzyvatelstva, similar resulted or brought by you, were both reproaches and failures. From other party or side, he read books to the child, played with it or him, in detail answered arising questions. I then chose that better: to grow to the boy without the father in general, or with such unbalanced father. And then I have come to conclusion, that good in my husband nevertheless it is more, than bad, that he can give the boy what I to give not in a status. Divorce did not take place, but I should talk to the husband and the son and now. The husband should explain that it is impossible to speak in general, that offends and injures the child. He, as well as yours, understands and asks to stop it or him when it or him brings. But nevertheless that is incorporated by the nature and parent education breaks from time to time. The son should explain, why the daddy so has become angry, that the daddy good. But I and now consider or count, that 7 years ago have made the correct decision. The son, living near to the daddy has learned very much to much, and continues to study. They together ski, play on a computer, read books, make models of planes and much still only. Also there would be no all of it or this, leave I then from the husband. I think, the will be more senior to become rebenok-the boy, the it is more and more the father will be necessary to him.

[olesja-o?N]

Vick, thanks you big for the letter! Probably at us similar situations. Our daddy also reads books to children, goes on a skating rink or roll, even cooks cranberry mors in day, constantly cleans it or him morkovki-apples and t. Item (for health). Now he tries to behave in arms or hand (to me he seems has understood that a situation very serious), but for a long time it or him, unfortunately, will not suffice... And what attitudes or relations at your husband with friends, relatives and whether he allowed " in the heat of anger " to offend you (certainly I not mat have in view of). If you have a desire and time allows - write to me on - ernestikjana@mail. ru - I very much would like to communicate to you. Yours faithfully - Olesya