Hello. At me to you such question. How to cope with jealousy is more senior...

[Darina]

Hello. At me to you such question.
How to cope with jealousy of the senior son to younger. To the son 2, 8, and bratiku and to the little sister (twins) for 9 months I every day constantly straighten out it or him, that he that not pridushival did not push did not burn did not bite somebody from malyshikov. Sometimes it is necessary to expel Danku from a room where I feed and I put kids to bed, t. To. He specially rustles. But it turns out, as though from itself. Forces already any are not present more. It would be desirable to cry already, in fact I seh like them equally.
Sometimes he certainly even plays with them, helps or assists, will bring it or him drying, a dummy, a pampers or even in a carriage will shake, but it not for a long time. Basically there is an aggression, it or him already treset everything when he to them climbs. Recently often tries to offend, when I do not see it or this, but also at us with the husband is forgotten. I am afraid to leave their one even for a minute. Thought, that with sremenem will pass or take place, but while is not present. What to do or make?
I shall tell a little about family.
Syn-Danechka was born very long-awaited, nursed up to 7 mes, has refused a breast easily. We lived with it or him without the daddy, he was on business trip.
With 9 ti months lived together, having moved in other country. At the husband a little during this period swore, a "grinding in"
The son developed quickly, has early started to speak, I with it or him was engaged much.
Have decided to get or start with the husband the second child that at detok there was a small difference in the age of, there were general or common interests.
During pregnancy (it has appeared two at a birth) we tried Danju podgotoviit by a birth of kids. Told, explained. Danke was then 1, 5 years. He already knew names detok.
More close to the extremity or end ber. I could not practically with it or him of anything do or make any more, walk, not play activly. All this was done or made by its or his grandmother (mother-in-law). But I drew with it or him, played silent games.
After a birth detok, the son has very much changed. Began to keep away from me, to ask to the grandmother more often.
I understood, that he does not have not enough my attention, but nothing could do or make. Though relatives around attention Danke have doubled all.
There was an aggression on detok.
Became very whining. Cried before a dream, with hysterics. But slept well at night.
In 2 he has told or said, that I bad, mum does not like me. We were simply in a shock. I tried to give him more attention, but it was physically impossible.
I became it or him revnova to the mother-in-law whom he gently embraces, and to me speaks mama-leave, when I try to put it or he to sleep, caress.
Now the mother-in-law has remained in holiday. And all became almost, as earlier. He became again closer to me, as earlier. There is only an aggression on detok, hysterics. Budu-nebudu.
In a week the mother-in-law will return and will take away Danku on walks, to itself. Yes, it will be to me greater or big simplification and the help, but I am afraid again of this alienation. To him with the grandmother luchshe-she gives him a lot of attention, indulges, potokaet to whims.
I cannot be with it or him so much. What to do or make, how to be, be excruciated for weariness, but to not give often the son to the grandmother, to not lose with it or him again warm attitudes or relations?
And detki already are afraid or rather afraid of it or him, sometimes start, when he comes nearer, them too it is a pity.
Though Danja often tells, how they then will play together, in what machines and very much miroljubivo.
It has too longly and inconsistently turned out. But prompt how to be together with the senior son in warm attitudes or relations and to get rid from c to younger.

[Pisarenko N.A.]

It is very normal reaction. At least, it is necessary to speak constantly with it or him about its or his feelings, to allow to show them " in the theory ", to emphasize, that he has the right to become angry, it is natural, however it is impossible to make aggressive actions. The more he can speak and complain to you, the less he will wish to realize all this in practice. Try to involve the grandmother itd just in the help with younger, how much or as far as it is possible or probable. If in couple of months nothing will change, it is meaningful to think of a psychotherapy for the child.

[Darina]

Unfortunately the grandmother wishes to sit and help or assist me with the senior child, with younger it is pleasant to her less. And in addition to me not dvuhsmyslenno hints, that the child does not have childhood if though I try to apply to it or him;them severity a little or to ask about the help from it or her at once there is a negative reaction. She did not wish to have still grandsons, including, that the senior child will be thrown. But it certainly not so.
Often reproaches us with the husband that it was necessary to think earlier. But we with it or him there is nothing we do not regret. Only hardly very or very much to consult physically and morally with these problems. What position to choose to me in relation to the mother-in-law? How often to allow her to meet the child? After occurrings with her, the child with parents becomes very whimsical, rolls with hysterics on a floor if it is not done or made as he wants. She to him in all potokaet, motivating is that he does not have not enough heat and caress from us.

[Lora]

Darina, I represent as you hardly! Fasten, - opportunities give Danku to the mother-in-law less. I understand as fizicheski-it hardly, but it is better ustat physically, than to exhaust sincerely... Or try to talk to her strictly. Tell or say, that will employ njanku for bliznjashek if she will buzz Danke in ears, that its or his parents without the childhood have left. That she does not help or assist, and complicates to you a life. On the grandmothers I know... My mum so directly also speaks: " Roditeli-for education, and the grandmother and the grandfather for love! " And like "to the full extent"...
At me the son with the nurse. She does or makes all as I shall tell or say and on all "reports". But for three years has become attached to it or him;them and too, on the sly " in the grandmother " rolls down or slides. He me, even, sometimes, blackmails: " I shall leave to the nurse... "...:-)))