I very much want, that my husband has stopped to drink. nachitavshis any literature, at m...

[Light]

I very much want, that my husband has stopped to drink. nachitavshis any literature, at me it turns out to reduce its or his binge to a minimum. Drinks now much less and only on days off. Initially the desire went not from it or him, and - to it or this in a sober status he malicious and closed. I wish to ask: whether it is necessary "to exasperate" it or him is to an occasion of restriction in smoking or all is impossible at once?

[Alexander]

Curiously, what methods and by means of what literature you managed to lower consumption? And tell or say, malicious and closed nevertheless it is better, than having drunk? And than? Do not misunderstand, I do not agitate for the use, upasi my God, simply I try to understand motives of yours "donimanija" and due to what forces the husband manages to suffer or bear it or him:)? Simply, if he a toper without its or his your desire donimanija hardly will benefit, and it is not clear, what literature is capable to force to use a toper only on days off?... If your husband not a toper then eto-a question of educational character, and the medicine here is powerless:). Sorry.

[Light]

I expected your questions:) the Toper or not, judge: For the last year has counted completely sober days nearby 4 5! Average daily (evening) norm or rate nearby 250 300. Vodka under good snack. It at it or him a supper such. In target begins with morning. On Monday hardly, but on job goes. To mine, particularly toper. But silent such, even career successfully does or makes. I can is long still suffered or bore, but is very already clear, in what all this will result or bring. And as well as than: it very much an individual approach. I know it or him! First has persuaded to not drink one day. It was lovely and charming, we have adjusted or have set up a heap of plans, etc. and t. Item I Meet it or him from job, at once I try to feed, communicate well. When naeshsja - to drink any more so it would be desirable. "Literature" all with this konfy and with dr. Sites. I try to explain mechanisms of an alcoholism unostentatiously. (it is not pleasant to him to listen, certainly, to it, and operates or works on the sly...) result for the present weak. Did not drink only the last week.:) Yesterday drank on a name-day, all family it is necessary to tell or say... Today - it is assured, will not drink. And here smokes much. I think: to ask it or him to pass to easier or lighter;more mild and less often or it is not necessary. In one I am precisely assured: completely to drink and smoke he will throw if only there will be an absolute threat of a life.

[Light]

I expected your questions:) the Toper or not, judge: For the last year has counted completely sober days nearby 4 5! Average daily (evening) norm or rate nearby 250 300. Vodka under good snack. It at it or him a supper such. In target begins with morning. On Monday hardly, but on job goes. To mine, particularly toper. But silent such, even career successfully does or makes. I can is long still suffered or bore, but is very already clear, in what all this will result or bring. And as well as than: it very much an individual approach. I know it or him! First has persuaded to not drink one day. It was lovely and charming, we have adjusted or have set up a heap of plans, etc. and t. Item I Meet it or him from job, at once I try to feed, communicate well. When naeshsja - to drink any more so it would be desirable. "Literature" all with this konfy and with dr. Sites. I try to explain mechanisms of an alcoholism unostentatiously. (it is not pleasant to him to listen, certainly, to it, and operates or works on the sly...) result for the present weak. Did not drink only the last week.:) Yesterday drank on a name-day, all family it is necessary to tell or say... Today - it is assured, will not drink. And here smokes much. I think: to ask it or him to pass to easier or lighter;more mild and less often or it is not necessary. In one I am precisely assured: completely to drink and smoke he will throw if only there will be an absolute threat of a life.

[VitEk]

What that you of Light.... Strange.... Play, whether that?

[Light]

In what?! The Situation not such rare or infrequent. The person every evening " for appetite " has got used to drink " 50 gram ". Every day! Only in due course these or it of 50 gram have turned in 250. Well everything, I think - will suffice. Will be worse Further. Has talked to it or him, has convinced. He even itself does not know, what for he drinks. Well there are no such reasons. Semja-rabota-the child, all is usual...
My husband not takoj-the started case can? (so it would be desirable to believe in it!) but nevertheless yesterday did not drink.

[Alexander]

I do not know, how much started case, but personally for myself I have drawn the simple conclusion confirmed by experience - treatment from an alcoholism is impossible "normalization" of the use... The biochemistry and psychopathology of an alcoholism is those. A simple question - as you think, what he thinks in sober everyday lives? - to mine, waits for days off to drink - to you so it not seemed? Whether And not therefore he malicious and closed? Well and in the rest, it is glad, that you have the husband a mutual understanding if it is, certainly. As I have understood - the remark Vit'ka about your "game" concerns or touches first of all that you " drink all family "... So "to play" with an alcoholism it is very fraught, he all the same will take "" in such game...: (

[Light]

Alexander, I agree with you. But can let is better " waits for days off "? Can vse-taki it is better, than drink every day?

[Alexander]

Can and is better, but a problem that usually is not possible; (. Besides the life " in constant expectation " is familiar to you? If yes, you understand what to name its or her high-grade in any way it is impossible. In fact wishing treatment, we do not wish the person to be constantly malicious and closed. Or you consider or count (I do not accuse you, simply I am or be interested), what normal treatment for your husband is impossible? If so, unfortunately, by the experience I can tell or say, that such "treatment", only on everyday lives, it is possible or probable even less: (. You think - each toper, being broken, at once runs into a drinking-bout, inevitably? Would be not present, unfortunately, differently people understood earlier, that are sick. No, all over again "dose" of alcohol can and seem "harmless", and the basic danger to a toper just that the next time it or him will deceive illness or disease - " here, you can supervise yourself, can drink " as all " "... As a result - comprehension of own illness or disease is lost and the use increases or is enlarged. poetomu-games with alcohol, including " - small " on a name-day and on days off for a relaxation, for a toper - games with mors...

[Light]

" Normal treatment " - to not drink at all and never? About a high-grade life I shall try to draw an analogy, though it can absolutely another.
To have the parameters approached to 90 60 90 I ochen-very seldom I eat tasty or delicious cakes and mayonnaise salatiki, it is possible to tell or say - to holidays. Think to me it would not be desirable any high-calorie, tasty or delicious things? Anything - you get used. Though tak-I am broken sometimes. obeshsja for the night, you regret in the morning... And today on job the employee the stunned pie has brought and konjak. To konjaku-that I am indifferent, and here flours or torments in occasion of a pie concrete. I know, that subsequently the pleasure received from a good figure - is better. And so start up the person for whom cognac is attractive, too will endure. All the same a sober life much more interesting. Or so with alcohol (as with meal) it is impossible?

[Alexander]

Normal treatment is when there is no mental pathological bent for to binge; and the biochemistry of an alcoholism is those, that the mechanism of this pathological draft will anyhow be started from reception even a small dose of alcohol. At normal treatment - I already wrote it in a forum - the toper refuses not pleasure, and from a useless toxicant about which he knows, that it is dangerous for its or his normal (and in general) a life. Understand - I call to refuse alcohol at all because I wish to call for refusal of "pleasure" that is why, that its or his reception is very dangerous at the biochemical changes which have developed at a toper; Except for that (for you it probably becomes revelation and you to it or this hardly will believe) - alkogolb the pleasure does not give to a toper, pathological bent for to it or him;them as to any narcotic - simply it seems to the person is saved only, that there was "pleasure" from binge - actually this self-suggestion - try to give him in a state of intoxication some simple water and to tell or say, what is it vodka. He to you will tell or say, that now to him it is good also he "zabaldel". Actually this small dose of "attractive" cognac will cause or call not intoxication, and at once a hang-over, and only a self-suggestion the person "feels" kajf. Therefore - refusal of a toper of alcohol at normal treatment is not refusal of pleasure, and not struggle with with itself (a way unpromising) is a comprehension of that Truth - that alcohol is very dangerous at the developed changes and any more does not give pleasure, and causes pathological "draft" - an alienation when you reach for substance which any more does not cause or cause "kajfa" but only the poisoning. I, as a toper, compare this status (bent for to alcohol at a toper) to nostalgia - attempt to return what actually never and was not...

[Trine]

Light, answers to many your questions are in t. n. to " The yellow book " (" To live sober "):
" Alcohol besides he causes accustoming, renders also psychological influence which changes thinking and ability to argue " and further, in the same place " the toper can learn to supervise completely the illness or disease, but cannot get rid of the predilection up to such degree to return to the use of alcohol without any unpleasant consequences ". That means - never more toper can drink drops.

[Grigorev M.I.]

Light, you speak all time about illness or disease, as about a bad habit. Show me epileptika, will power stopping epileptic attacks - then we shall speak about will power in treatment of an alcoholism. Kakoj-any pointless conversation turns out. You all how TO FORCE the husband to not drink, and do not hear words about HELPING or ASSISTING TO WANT to not drink and find that will help or assist with a reality to not drink...

[VitEk]

Yes, the young woman excites own proportions 60 90 60, than the REAL decision of a problem more likely;) the Alcoholism of the husband only "background" of what to pose itself before others - " Look or See, what I clever! ".

[Natalia]

You are not right VitEk in last report! To you to judge you were easier a toper, instead of sozavisimym. It would be desirable to listen to your judgements if you hotjaby have spent year with a toper and tried to help or assist him. And about 90 60 90 she has given an example..... Also it is not necessary to these or it;this to stick. Here will power too greater or big is necessary!!!

[Trine]

Will power has no attitude or relation to an alcoholism and its or his treatment. But with such approach to own husband.... As though not the alive person, and plasticine... Has moulded that... I shall mould it.... It is possible to fill much shishek on own to a forehead.

[Hazhilina I.I.]

Light! At conference it was much written, that simply refusal of the use is not convalescence from an alcoholism. Therefore if the person simply refuses and he does not solve those problems iz-for which drinks (and it by the way including family problems...), also does or makes it for someone instead of for itself (in this case for you)
That eventually he is broken! When alcohol does not act in a blood the person has a so-called subacute period otnjatija alcohol and the body starts to react to these changes. At the person the dream is broken, he can be aressivnym, irritable, memory and t can suffer. Item This status hardly it is possible to name normal. To the person it is bad. As a result there is a failure. And if also to smoke at once to throw, understand... Therefore voobshche-that the help of experts is necessary to your husband. If certainly you really wish to help or assist to stop to drink to him. And main and most vazhnoe-its or his own desire. If there are questions, call 8 916 140 74 55 (From Moscow or area)
All the best!
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