AnnfanShakira
09.04.2005, 14:54
Writes The Beauty and the Beast (beauty_n_beast)
2005-01-13 00:46:00
THE STORY
Beauty: About blondes and computers. So, to you have presented the newcomer, still all in seals and a computer smelling shop. He rustles somewhere at you under a table (or on a table, what not a short important), you admire it or him, you on it or him to breathe are afraid also each button press cautiously, and nearby at you is special trjapochka which you every minute wipe it or him sijajushchy the case. You name a computer and buy a soft toy to put on the systemic block or trochlea. You ljubovno concern or touch keyboards, but the machine or car frightens you a little. It is sick she... Another's. You badly imagine, as she there inside works and than rustles, yes that there - at all do not represent!
At any moment you get tired to press pavor. You take a package which to you have handed over together with a gift and in which you still never looked. In a package you find out broshjurki mainly in English with the image of any mechanisms which, in your opinion, could belong to a spacecraft, bright konvertiki with compact discs, papers. With papers you understand more quickly in total it only store checks and guarantee coupons. Then you undertake compact discs because you now technically equipped modern girl, and you to the face to look compact discs, instead of to read books. Contents of disks plunge you into despondency - you do not understand, from you your own computer achieves that, and are pleased, that during the moment of research nobody saw you. Then you undertake books, but in them hardly read only a table of contents.
Then you go to the father (to the brother, the friend) and ask to explain, how the computer works. Planned by you in the teacher the man looks at you with tired condescension and asks, that has broken. More precisely, he says the first slangy word from your future rich repertoir - "gljuchit". You mumble, that nothing happens, you should know... The Man speaks, that to him to make easier, than to explain to you as it is necessary to make that worked.
And during any moment you, having waited when will remain at home one, start business. You drag a set of fatherly instruments from mezzanines, find the greatest screw-driver and are accepted to business. You break all seals and assort a beautiful computer completely. In passing you some times painfully beats a current, and so you understand what to repair technics or technical equipment it is necessary, preliminary having disconnected or having switched-off it or her from a network. You accurately display on a floor all spare parts, find their analogues in broshjurkah and feel the heroine - it appears, all so is simple!
Then you, inspired by success, collect a computer anew.
Next day you make one more attempt to collect from this stuff though something efficient.
In a week you are afraid to look in a mirror at the grown thin face, red eyes from tears and the bitten labiums.
In ten days you it is resolute obrezaete fingernails or nails under a root because long fingernails or nails prevent to scoff to you at a computer.
To the extremity or end of the third week you collect a computer and, sitting on a floor, with blazhennoj a smile listen to its or his gentle rustle.
In the beginning of the fourth week you take down operational system.
In an hour after formatting a disk you learn or find out, that in that package there were no the Most important Drivers, and you novoustanovlennaja flatly refuses to show OS more, than 16 colors or flowers and to authorize it is more, than 640480.
Later half a year you again let grow fingernails or nails and paint hair in white color. To you tell jokes about blondes in hope, that you will not understand them. You are politely dared or laugh politely, climb behind a powder box in a handbag of which as though the small-type soldering iron accidentally throws out. Seeing the extended face of the humorist-, you smushchenno explain, that your computer has accustomed you to any unexpectedness. And in general, unless it is possible in advance the nobility, as where otpajaetsja?!
You, certainly, koketnichaete because a soldering iron use, only when the handle at your liked ear rings once again falls off. And for repair of a computer you for a long time have got own set of screw-drivers which lays the at home - series with a pile "emergency" kompaktov, in the same place, where you store or keep in match to a box superfluous vintiki and jumpers. And under a pile you hide an envelope with a grist if it is necessary to buy urgently new spare parts instead of burned down vidjuhi or sdohshego a cooler.
You for a long time do not read the documentation in Russian, your operational system not Russified because you would not like to catch another's bugs. You on a way on job do not forget to take a hot of computer magazine to esteem in the underground. You by heart know working hours of all computer shops and stalls in radius of three kilometers from the house, you are familiar with sellers and on your desktop price-lists eternally roll. At you is liked magazinchik on Savelovskom or on the Top crust, and even on Barrikadnoj or on Highway of Enthusiasts where All of you are going to to go at last to buy new pisalku and heaped up "ears" with a microphone.
In your notebook of phones of friends and native it is less, than numbers or rooms of "muzhiks" from a category I have a familiar muzhik who sells accessories under the wholesale price/advises on iron or gland/?N on networks , and absolutely numbers or rooms of experts on a software. You even have gone through brief there are no, but rough addicting britym nalyso the system administrator which justified that the person necessary . For the sake of it or him you two weeks sat on a diet and have found time to tint otrosshie roots of hair. You have got out of a skin to remain with it or him after job at its or his office, and have not died nearly of pleasure when he has suggested to have a drink pivka. Somewhere to the extremity or end of your second litre of beer, but prior to the beginning of the first litre of vodka he razotkrovennichalsja, and you have understood, that all victims were vain.
It appears, the system administrator is not indifferent to undersized moustached brunettes with such zadnitsej what to you never in a life otest, and considers or counts a waist the most serious disadvantage of a female figure. You with your leanness like him, but you remind the boy, besides - the in a board the guy. Been upset, you understand, that here to you to catch there is nothing, but morning places all in the places. You wake up in podsobke from pohmelnoj pains in all body, to you durno from one idea, that you spent the night at office, moreover and not in the, and now to you to go home through all Moscow, in such status... And here you find out, that near a stove bench there is not drunk up glass of warm vodka - the system administrator has friendly left to you half own opohmelnoj grists. You come to conclusion, that friendship of the system administrator - something much more pleasant and useful, than its or his carings. Besides the gentleman from it or him, on honour to tell or say, nasty: if he not at job bungles, and it is direct at job. He will not lead the girl on sisadminskuju pjanku. But the friend to a female will be the first who will receive there the invitation.
In three days the system administrator calls to you and offers halturku. It is necessary to go on other extremity or end of Moscow and to explain to any teapot, how to include a computer. The teapot promised I shall weave dollars, and the system administrator for intermediary wants twenty percent or interests. You okidyvaete a thoughtful view a box where store or keep not used accessories, and come to conclusion, that it is time to collect the second machine or car. Eighty dollars to you will be useful.
Having left that office where vainly wasted time, you pass to the free schedule: learn or teach teapots, adjust softinu, rivet on kolenke unpretentious sites, advise on iron or gland, receive small percent or interest on sale komplektushchih for a wholesale price , and at leisure the left leg or foot translate the technical documentation for small, but regular money. Your earnings arranges you, but you spend for travels of three times more time, than for actually job. In the underground you read any more magazines, and textbooks on Perl and to databases. In your room there live five working machines or cars, and when to you familiar system administrators and fidoshniki on a visit come, you carelessly push a leg or foot under a table stirring or preventing systemic blocks or trochleas. You burnt houses the bottom contour, and first time to you twice was possible to powder brains zhekovskomu to the electrician, having fallen down failure or accident on a flood arranged by neighbours, and second time it was necessary to you zapityvat rosellas from the top contour, and is independent, that has caused pereklejku wall-papers in all apartment. Your parents have been very surprised, having returned from holiday and having found out the repair made on conscience.
Your book shelf where the school diary for the eleventh class earlier was stored or kept, there were three love novels and a cactus with bantikom, now strives to fall under gravity zatrepannyh computer books. And you the fifth day catch yourselves on an idea that it is time to lay a grid because floppinet you zakolebal successively.
You master UNIX, With and C ++, you otvergli already four offers on job, believing, that your skills cost or stand more, than the offered seven hundred tanks in a month. Seven hundred tanks you and so will earn, there is no need to be arranged somewhere for the sake of it or this. Though most of all you are touched with predilection of possible or probable employers for diplomas. You were bothered with indulgent smiles of blunt managers, uslyhavshih, that you on education - the teacher of singing.
You already look for high school for reception of the second of the maximum or supreme...
... And behind any horse-radish buy the second-hand car.
p.s. On a writing or spelling of this post I was inspired by own father. As you guess, he has presented me a computer.
2005-01-13 00:46:00
THE STORY
Beauty: About blondes and computers. So, to you have presented the newcomer, still all in seals and a computer smelling shop. He rustles somewhere at you under a table (or on a table, what not a short important), you admire it or him, you on it or him to breathe are afraid also each button press cautiously, and nearby at you is special trjapochka which you every minute wipe it or him sijajushchy the case. You name a computer and buy a soft toy to put on the systemic block or trochlea. You ljubovno concern or touch keyboards, but the machine or car frightens you a little. It is sick she... Another's. You badly imagine, as she there inside works and than rustles, yes that there - at all do not represent!
At any moment you get tired to press pavor. You take a package which to you have handed over together with a gift and in which you still never looked. In a package you find out broshjurki mainly in English with the image of any mechanisms which, in your opinion, could belong to a spacecraft, bright konvertiki with compact discs, papers. With papers you understand more quickly in total it only store checks and guarantee coupons. Then you undertake compact discs because you now technically equipped modern girl, and you to the face to look compact discs, instead of to read books. Contents of disks plunge you into despondency - you do not understand, from you your own computer achieves that, and are pleased, that during the moment of research nobody saw you. Then you undertake books, but in them hardly read only a table of contents.
Then you go to the father (to the brother, the friend) and ask to explain, how the computer works. Planned by you in the teacher the man looks at you with tired condescension and asks, that has broken. More precisely, he says the first slangy word from your future rich repertoir - "gljuchit". You mumble, that nothing happens, you should know... The Man speaks, that to him to make easier, than to explain to you as it is necessary to make that worked.
And during any moment you, having waited when will remain at home one, start business. You drag a set of fatherly instruments from mezzanines, find the greatest screw-driver and are accepted to business. You break all seals and assort a beautiful computer completely. In passing you some times painfully beats a current, and so you understand what to repair technics or technical equipment it is necessary, preliminary having disconnected or having switched-off it or her from a network. You accurately display on a floor all spare parts, find their analogues in broshjurkah and feel the heroine - it appears, all so is simple!
Then you, inspired by success, collect a computer anew.
Next day you make one more attempt to collect from this stuff though something efficient.
In a week you are afraid to look in a mirror at the grown thin face, red eyes from tears and the bitten labiums.
In ten days you it is resolute obrezaete fingernails or nails under a root because long fingernails or nails prevent to scoff to you at a computer.
To the extremity or end of the third week you collect a computer and, sitting on a floor, with blazhennoj a smile listen to its or his gentle rustle.
In the beginning of the fourth week you take down operational system.
In an hour after formatting a disk you learn or find out, that in that package there were no the Most important Drivers, and you novoustanovlennaja flatly refuses to show OS more, than 16 colors or flowers and to authorize it is more, than 640480.
Later half a year you again let grow fingernails or nails and paint hair in white color. To you tell jokes about blondes in hope, that you will not understand them. You are politely dared or laugh politely, climb behind a powder box in a handbag of which as though the small-type soldering iron accidentally throws out. Seeing the extended face of the humorist-, you smushchenno explain, that your computer has accustomed you to any unexpectedness. And in general, unless it is possible in advance the nobility, as where otpajaetsja?!
You, certainly, koketnichaete because a soldering iron use, only when the handle at your liked ear rings once again falls off. And for repair of a computer you for a long time have got own set of screw-drivers which lays the at home - series with a pile "emergency" kompaktov, in the same place, where you store or keep in match to a box superfluous vintiki and jumpers. And under a pile you hide an envelope with a grist if it is necessary to buy urgently new spare parts instead of burned down vidjuhi or sdohshego a cooler.
You for a long time do not read the documentation in Russian, your operational system not Russified because you would not like to catch another's bugs. You on a way on job do not forget to take a hot of computer magazine to esteem in the underground. You by heart know working hours of all computer shops and stalls in radius of three kilometers from the house, you are familiar with sellers and on your desktop price-lists eternally roll. At you is liked magazinchik on Savelovskom or on the Top crust, and even on Barrikadnoj or on Highway of Enthusiasts where All of you are going to to go at last to buy new pisalku and heaped up "ears" with a microphone.
In your notebook of phones of friends and native it is less, than numbers or rooms of "muzhiks" from a category I have a familiar muzhik who sells accessories under the wholesale price/advises on iron or gland/?N on networks , and absolutely numbers or rooms of experts on a software. You even have gone through brief there are no, but rough addicting britym nalyso the system administrator which justified that the person necessary . For the sake of it or him you two weeks sat on a diet and have found time to tint otrosshie roots of hair. You have got out of a skin to remain with it or him after job at its or his office, and have not died nearly of pleasure when he has suggested to have a drink pivka. Somewhere to the extremity or end of your second litre of beer, but prior to the beginning of the first litre of vodka he razotkrovennichalsja, and you have understood, that all victims were vain.
It appears, the system administrator is not indifferent to undersized moustached brunettes with such zadnitsej what to you never in a life otest, and considers or counts a waist the most serious disadvantage of a female figure. You with your leanness like him, but you remind the boy, besides - the in a board the guy. Been upset, you understand, that here to you to catch there is nothing, but morning places all in the places. You wake up in podsobke from pohmelnoj pains in all body, to you durno from one idea, that you spent the night at office, moreover and not in the, and now to you to go home through all Moscow, in such status... And here you find out, that near a stove bench there is not drunk up glass of warm vodka - the system administrator has friendly left to you half own opohmelnoj grists. You come to conclusion, that friendship of the system administrator - something much more pleasant and useful, than its or his carings. Besides the gentleman from it or him, on honour to tell or say, nasty: if he not at job bungles, and it is direct at job. He will not lead the girl on sisadminskuju pjanku. But the friend to a female will be the first who will receive there the invitation.
In three days the system administrator calls to you and offers halturku. It is necessary to go on other extremity or end of Moscow and to explain to any teapot, how to include a computer. The teapot promised I shall weave dollars, and the system administrator for intermediary wants twenty percent or interests. You okidyvaete a thoughtful view a box where store or keep not used accessories, and come to conclusion, that it is time to collect the second machine or car. Eighty dollars to you will be useful.
Having left that office where vainly wasted time, you pass to the free schedule: learn or teach teapots, adjust softinu, rivet on kolenke unpretentious sites, advise on iron or gland, receive small percent or interest on sale komplektushchih for a wholesale price , and at leisure the left leg or foot translate the technical documentation for small, but regular money. Your earnings arranges you, but you spend for travels of three times more time, than for actually job. In the underground you read any more magazines, and textbooks on Perl and to databases. In your room there live five working machines or cars, and when to you familiar system administrators and fidoshniki on a visit come, you carelessly push a leg or foot under a table stirring or preventing systemic blocks or trochleas. You burnt houses the bottom contour, and first time to you twice was possible to powder brains zhekovskomu to the electrician, having fallen down failure or accident on a flood arranged by neighbours, and second time it was necessary to you zapityvat rosellas from the top contour, and is independent, that has caused pereklejku wall-papers in all apartment. Your parents have been very surprised, having returned from holiday and having found out the repair made on conscience.
Your book shelf where the school diary for the eleventh class earlier was stored or kept, there were three love novels and a cactus with bantikom, now strives to fall under gravity zatrepannyh computer books. And you the fifth day catch yourselves on an idea that it is time to lay a grid because floppinet you zakolebal successively.
You master UNIX, With and C ++, you otvergli already four offers on job, believing, that your skills cost or stand more, than the offered seven hundred tanks in a month. Seven hundred tanks you and so will earn, there is no need to be arranged somewhere for the sake of it or this. Though most of all you are touched with predilection of possible or probable employers for diplomas. You were bothered with indulgent smiles of blunt managers, uslyhavshih, that you on education - the teacher of singing.
You already look for high school for reception of the second of the maximum or supreme...
... And behind any horse-radish buy the second-hand car.
p.s. On a writing or spelling of this post I was inspired by own father. As you guess, he has presented me a computer.