Simply joke...

[Ferera]

The present or true optimist even on a cemetery instead of crosses sees pluss.

[mat]

Me now will pull out!!!
_________________
Anybody, anything me he... I shall live! "dolphin"

[ninok]

The muzhik dies of cold. Also asks the doctor: " Listen, I to you still and shall begin to cry or pay, but write to me, that I have died of AIDS "


The doctor: " What for?!! "


The muzhik: " Vopervyh yourself you will rehabilitate (AIDS is not treated), up to my stinker anybody is more finger will not touch, and that dog, that 5 years fucks it or her, nahren will be hung up! "





On reception at the doctor the muzhik at whom the axe sticks out of a head sits.


The doctor, it is quiet:


- In the childhood korju, epidemic parotitis did not hurt or be ill;be sick?





In a drugstore:


- You have something from a gonorrhea?


- Certainly!


- Turn is a gift more beautifully





On reception at the psychiatrist. The doctor shouts:


-! What at you?


The-doctor, at me in an apartment at night wolves cough!


-you need to address to the veterinarian. Sledujushy





I do not use condoms - at me a claustrophobia!


- Ha! The Claustrophobia! Here ours Monju buried, so he three times from a coffin jumped out! Here it is a claustrophobia!!!





- The doctor sick from the sixth chamber has declared or announced itself Caesar and is torn gromit karfagenjan.


- In its or his strait jacket!


- And from the eighth speaks, that he Don ZHuan...


- And it or this is in smiritelnye trousers!





Conversation of two doctors:


I are the patient, kotory under all forecasts should die 10 years ago. And he till now is alive.


What can I tell or say? If the patient wishes to live - the medicine is powerless!





13-years schoolboy Vasja Ivanov has found in a table at the father five tablets p which has accepted inside. Later the teenager has been delivered in hospital with combustions of palms of 3-rd degree.





After burial service on a cemetery there are two old : and the priest.


" How are you doing my brother? " The sacred father-asks.


" Your prays, otche! "


" And how yours, the sacred father? " The doctor-asks.


" Your diligence, my brother. "





The doctor why everyone consider or count, what I nimfomanka?


- Well at once it is difficult to tell or say, we shall make inspection... Only


My member release or let off, that I could fill a card.





I hope Jess will estimate or appreciate and the finger upwards will smoke

[777]

The man on gastroenterology acts somehow, to check up function zhelchevyvodjashchih ways. And such patients put on unit on the eve, and that a diet-purpose or -appointment kept, the nurse gives out to them raspechatannuju on the printer the instruction. And right at the end of the instruction it is written:


: on inspection to take with itself a towel, 2 crude eggs (a cholagogue breakfast).


Here only this time, taking out a leaf or sheet from the printer, have unintentionally torn off a corner of a paper. Also it has turned out:


... In the morning on inspection to take with itself a towel, 2 crude:


The patient rises in the morning and goes to a bathroom to wet wafer towels. ' You of that? Its or his neighbour on chamber '-asks. ' So have written. ' Also goes in ordinatorskuju. The doctor on duty, the elderly woman There sits, writes a case history.


-th such such ---declares or announces the patient.


-was good, wait minute ---the doctor continues to write.


And, not lifting a head:


-eggs with itself?


-with itself ---podofigel djadechka.


-put them here:


-where???


-here, on a table, on a towel ---not lifting eyes, automatically mashet an arm or a hand before itself.


The patient, it is silent figeja, accurately spreads wet towels, lowers trousers and puts eggs from above. All as asked. Doktoritsa finishes a line and lifts, at last, a head.


On its or her cries (and that to shout, never saw that-whether? I doubt) all unit has run together.


The muzhik otpaivali donative cognac. He still half an hour somewhere could not tell or say anything, except for: ' At-at-! Sssss! '








I to the son half a year, and at it or him had a constipation. I send the wife on summer residence SMS: " Good morning! I very much like you! pokakal? " Through pair minutes I receive the answer from one of the druzhbanov: " Greetings! I like you even more! Perfectly posral! Thanks! "


Not that from a notebook has chosen number or room..





There was such joke - when the muzhik has gone to an out-patient department a feces to hand over in a matchbox and gone. In three days its or his wife in traumatology has found, all in a gypsum. On a question " what's happened? " - I do not remember, speaks. I remember only in the street to light have asked...





-------------


Yours faithfully,

[yesina_o@mail.ru]

Merchant, sending to navigation:


- What to you to bring, dochenka mladshenkaja?


- Bring to me, the father, a monster terrible for sex joys and distortions!


- Yes you that, dochenka, I the father - I cannot allow you of it or this!


- (Sighing) Well... We shall go on a long way.... Bring to me, the father, a floret alenky.

[Tishin Irina Vl]

The Present or True optimist even on a cemetery instead of crosses sees pluss.



The good fellow
_________________
The life-it or -this;-thus the most dear or expensive, that at me is, has realized after an operating table...

[Sinichka]

Liza, you were not checked yet? New year already for a long time has passed or has taken place. DolzhOk for you.

[Alisa-123]

History not ridiculous, but such... Optimistical, whether that. I it or her always


I tell, when conversation on voluntary leaving or care from a life comes.





I then worked in one Internet-publishing house, and at me have developed very much


Warm and confidential attitudes or relations with the girl-student who is earned additionally


There translations or transfers with Norwegian, Swedish and other tongues. She of these tongues


Knew pieces five, not including English. Besides language talents, she


Composed verses, fine drew and in addition it was very good itself.





But, certainly, the destiny, having given or allowed one person is so much advantages, should


To take away from it or him something in exchange. The girl suffered from rare or infrequent and not clear


Illnesses or Diseases. I do not know the diagnosis, yes doctors, apparently, so and have not put it or him,


But on my guesses - something like a tumour of a brain. It was shown in


Very long and excruciating attacks of a headache which are not removed or are not taken out


Any medicines.





Because of illness or disease she had to take akadem in institute and to fasten with


podrabotkami. We continued to communicate. Certainly, in our attitudes or relations was


Certain sex podteskt, at least for my part. But any


ramok we did not pass, more likely I, being the person much more more


Adult and skilled or experienced, played a role of the senior brother.





Illness or Disease progressed. There was a hope on any well-known


Professors, on operation. She has laid down in clinic of the professor on inspection.


In couple of weeks calls to me on job and such cheerful-cheerful voice:


- Now all all is possible for me. Me now write out from clinic. The professor


Has told or said what to operate too late.





I was broke from job, have caught a taxi, have intercepted it or her about an entrance. We have sat down or lodge


On a shop. Then I have learned or have found out, that at it or her on this case have been prepared


A little sot tablets of somnolent and she went home with firm intention


Them to drink. Yes, actually, it and so it was clear. She speaks:


- I still had month rub or three-four greatest. Me every day hurt


On neskolku hours, every day fast, veins on arms or hand any more does not remain.


What for?


She has broken off, and I, with all everyday and other experience, sit and not


I know, that to her to tell or say in the answer. Like all correctly and logically.


Really, what for?





And we sat under a tree, and during this moment to me on a shirt the caterpillar or track falls.


I have instinctively moved, she has smiled. I have noticed it and have moved still


Time, already deliberately, on-. She has burst out laughing through tears.





I speak:


- Here you see, you have seen a caterpillar or track and have laughed. Means, even such


The trifle can please you. And how much still will be such trifles for


Four months! Do not hurry up on a next world, collect all over again all caterpillars or tracks.





Well here. Since then has passed or has taken place years five or more. She is alive, we sometimes


We are called back. Medicines for its or her illness or disease and have not found, but attacks


By itself became much less often. She has terminated institute, well earns


Translations or Transfers. It is a lot of friends, recently even the young man has appeared. I


In general on a life not the big rithteous person, but I think, that for that caterpillar or track to me


Much will say goodbye or be excused on Terrible court.

[moro]

Has felt depressed.... Here to me... History your kind.

[flacorus]

You heard, sho to husband Fani yesterday cut out tonsils?


- The poor girl! She so wished to have children.





You will be at us in Moscow - come on a visit!


- And how I shall find you?


- Neva you know?


- Yes.


- Arochku in a court yard you know?


- Yes.


- You will approach or suit to the house and you will shout: GOLDBERG! All windows will open, and I - is not present. My surname - Rabinovich.





Small TSilja asks the daddy:


- The daddy! And whether I can send valentinku to the person of other religion?


- And who exactly?


- Bin Ladenu.


- To that??? Bin Ladenu??? What for?


- I have thought, that when Bin Laden will receive valentinku from small iudejskoj girls, he will understand, that in the world not all such bad, and he will put an end to war and will try or taste zagladitsvoju fault before a society...


- Ah! Docha! This most perfect, that I ever heard!


-... And then our insurgents razdolbajut to him huj!





While Rabinovich there was no house, to its or his wife lover Misha should come. They have agreed, that Misha will come, when will hear, as Sara has thrown a coin.


Passes or Takes place 3 hours. Sara does not maintain and shouts downwards:


- Michael! Longly you still?


- Minute, Sarochka! Only a coin I shall find.


- Here zhidovskaja soul! I etu three hours back on nitochke have lifted a coin back.











At breakfast:


- Izja, drink kefirchik, shob you sdoh, and that not vyzdorovish!